Houns – Member

How do you piss on your wrist going back to front…..I’m a back to fronter and never given myself a golden shower.

One has to reach under ones tackle, between the legs. Any residual drippage is free to fall onto the wrist/forearm at the slightest contact.

I’ve just been for a second sitting and road-tested some of the afore-mentioned suggestions including B2F.

I now have piss on my wrist. 🙁

captaincarbon – Member

ok. we can all stop trying the knees togethr ankles apart whilst sat staring at our screens. How can that work?

It ‘offers up’ the work surface for increased contact area. Trust me, it works.

derek_starship – Member

Shib – what on God’s Green Earth is Big Ball Day?

Don’t you have the occasional Big Ball Day? When they hang lower and swing more pendulously than usual? Is it just me???

GrahamS – Member

No no – you have to dry Mr Johnson’s head before you reach on through.

Surely even F2Bers need to do this to avoid the dreaded wet penny?

You’re just making extra work for yourself there mate. Stand slowly, turn slightly towards the bath, and ‘flick’ your pelvis – more Michael Jackson than Elvis Presley. You can shout “Eeeh-heeee!” if it helps, but it’s not really necessary. That should avoid any “blue-on-blue” incidents.

B2F is just wrong, you get dew drops on your wrist! Plus, on Big Ball Day, you have added obstacles to contend with.

Strictly F2B for me – I use the 3-pronged attack: alternate wipes on left and right sides, followed by a “wall of death” with a paper-wrapped digit.

And always remember, knees together, ankles apart for more efficient access.

When to draft?? in a TT

are you a cheat?

No, passing traffic is there for everyone. It’s a fact of timetrialling. What are you going to do, back off every time a lorry overtakes???

steveh – Member

Beating 24 minutes for a beginner is wholly over the top IMHO.

If he’s a beginner to road biking, perhaps, but a cyclist with a bit of experience and skill, on a flat course, cool night and no wind, I’d say 24 is a realistic target.

A fairly experienced roadie will have the skills/knowledge/roadcraft* to chop a minute off the time of a similarly fit mountain biker.

(*When to draft, when to put up a sail, how to stay out of the wind, where to save energy etc)

Put it in a hot oven for a few thousand years (180-200°c or gas mark 5 should be fine). Remove and leave to cool for 10-20 mins on a wire rack.

Tip it upside-down and diamonds should pour from the seat tube. Fact.

Shackleton – Member

I have to admit to finding this post rather amusing given the OPs user name…….

I did wonder if it was a secret sign. ;o) (J)

That makes sense – I’m a Mac Mail kinda guy…

Thanks all, I’ll sleep better tonight.

J

I’ve just sold my XL, loved it to bits, but I prefer riding my Soul all day. Great fun, quite unforgiving but gets better the faster you push it.

I rant mine with 130mm Revs, Pre EBB frameset. I’m 6’1″ and found the size/fit perfect for cross country, but not as playful as a Large would have been. Built-up geometry was similar to my Large Soul and Large Blur…

22 mins

Sit high in the road on declines and when you have a tailwind so you build up a good queue of cars behind you. Then let them through when the road rises or turns into the wind. They’ll all slow down to swear at you and cut you up real tight, but it’s worth it for the slipstream they create.

(and yes, I’m serious) ;o)

SIS Orange or Tropical Fruits for me. The banana ones taste like monkey spunk*.

I find they work really well as mid-ride fuel, or a couple necked with a pint of water will get you out of a cramp/bonk situation.

So much easier to digest than bars, and if you find one with decent carb content, they’re far more use than a mouthful of jelly babies.

* I would imagine.

I think the Caffeine might be a bit racey for his needs, thanks for the pointers so far though!

Slightly off topic, but why do people tell me they’re going “On Annual Leave”?

You’re going on your hols mate. You dress it up whatever colour you like, but at the end of the day, you and I both know you’re going to go spend a fortnight sitting on a sunlounger, wearing the same pair of board shorts and drinking San Miguel til your head hurts.

Or are you now too important to have a “Holiday”?

Somebody has too much time on his hands. Utterly pointless, possibly twuntish.

carlos – Shimano always used to need to be sized “up”. Still true?

Yep, I’ve got some R190s which are a size up from my usual. They’re not a bad fit but could do with a shade more width up front for my plates…

Thank god you don’t have babies then! Would you leave them to their own devices to wreak havoc?

Nice one. Another irresponsible cat owner contributes to the decline of a lovely garden bird.

You should be prosecuted.

Oops, sorry, I thought she was wearing lycra…

It’s exactly the same as the ratio between show jumping and javelin throwing. Hope this helps.

Chameleon. Or Chumba HX1.

What about Orchard Road by Leo Sayer? Brilliant record…

I opted for the more Welsh-sounding place for comedic effect, honest, and they hailed from North Wales.

molgrips – Member
it gets really old and makes you look stupid and like Anne Robinson.

How can anyone who comes up with a pun (or pwn) of the quality of “Pwllheli Harbour” be viewed as stupid as Anne Robinson?? C’mon, credit where credit’s due…

More of an educated guess than any specific knowledge of the Welsh language. Don’t get me started on the Welsh language by the way, it’s just childish. 😉

The Welsh are bombing themselves with Chinese armaments. It’s kinda like that film, Pwllheli Harbour.

Er… No Andy, it won’t.

Molgrips, you forgot this one…

Oi, Cael, come an get yer tea.
– Hey, my illegitimate offspring that I named after the daytime TV host that kindly arranged your paternity test (but I changed the spellin, to sound, yer know, more sophistemicated like), your dinner is served.

barnsleymitch – Member

Shibboleth – do you have anything on which to base your assertion that it is ‘the lower echelons of society’ that use these things?

I’ve not carried out in-depth statistical research Mitch, suffice to say, the people interviewed on Look North West seemed to be of the less educated, lower income or benefit-claiming quarters of our society.

There are several thatched properties in my village, there’s also quite a lot of decking, flat roofs steeped in pitch…

I’m no rocket scientist, but I can see no good will come of drifting naked flames onto these areas…

Let’s all stand up-wind of Drac’s house and give a practical demonstration… 😉

I was out on the roadbike on Saturday morning heading up through the Forest of Bowland in the same direction as the Peking to Paris vintage car rally. Not quite as potent as the Cobra, but there were some beautiful pre-war Lagondas, Bentleys, Rileys etc…

McHamish – Member

Could you explain who you are referring to when you say ‘lower echelons of society’? Are you referring to Chinese people?

No, I meant poor people.

Fire caused by Chinese lantern

And another…

Nope, it’s Welsh for Kyle. Fact.

This pretty too… He’s called “Cael” (qu’elle surprise).

Cael’s parents are now fronting a campaign to get them banned, despite THEM being the morons that allowed children to release them!

YOU DON’T NEED THEM TO BE ON A BANNED LIST TO KNOW THEY COULD EASILY DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!!

But they should be banned.

Yeah, really pretty. The moors round here are littered in them in places and I know a farmer that has lost several sheep that have become entangled in them.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but what would be wrong with setting up a company that uses your obviously salable skillset and markets it to entrepreneurs who have no idea how to bring their ideas to market online?

It kinda offloads the risk element onto the dragon-fodder…

mastiles_fanylion – Member

the flagship product we wanted to stock was a student’s uni project and not in production….

I NEED to know what this product was! What the hell kind of University lets its students develop V8 Ti strapons for example?… Now there’s an idea for you…