HELLO EVERYONE :)
My mind is relative. It likes to compare things to other things to get a grasp of what’s happening. Depression suppressed any good aspects of anything and exaggreatted the bad. I would then get lost in my mind, focussing only on the bad and spiralling deeper and deeper into this irrational world I created in my head where everything was bad. This would happen in the car. On the bus. On the sofa next to someone I love. At the pub. Halfway along some singletrack. I wouldn’t even notice it was happening.
I would drift through my days in this daze. I thought ‘other people aren’t like this’. I realised I was depressed.
Although my mind is the gateway through which I experience everything, it isn’t the only thing in the world: Food and sleep are necessary. Forcing myself to eat and sleep was my number one priority. No matter what happened in my mind, I needed to eat and sleep.
This gave me something absolute, a grounding, something solid against which I could fight any bad thoughts.
I realised I was wrong, there were other people like this. There were other people who were depressed, and a lot of them are doing very well.
I read Simonofbarns(?) mentioning CBT on here. I looked into it, but I could never find any ‘instructions’.
I started reading classic philosophical novels and opened my eyes to the fact that there are so many different ways of looking at the world. There isn’t one fixed viewpoint, there are hundreds. I considered lots of them – but I wasn’t searching for the right ‘religion’, ‘life philosophy’, or ‘spirituality’. I just realised that there is more than one way to look at the world. Having depression tinge everything wasn’t the only way.
So, I began to fight it. Everytime I realised I was having depressed thoughts, I would pause and tell myself that a depressed outlook was no more valid than a happy one – I was simply having depressed thoughts. I would then reconsider the good aspects. Try and see them through the depressed fog. But as I mentioned before, I would slip into this depression without even realising it, so spotting that it was happening was the hardest part. It still is.
Once I spot it though, I’m fine. I bring myself out of it by reminding myself that I need to be my own friend.
Basically, it’s unlikely any of the above will work for you, but I found that taking the time to examine myself and the thoughts I was having worked very well.
Hope that helps