I knew it! – “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension!” – that was the name of the film where I first saw this device in action

Speaker covers, one of them just came away in me hands. Must be something to do with the UmBongo no longer sticking it together. Soon fix it though, and at least I didn’t knock it off with me bike in the first week, or her indoors would be moaning (again)

Give me a shout on your way past Dingwall – I’ll stick the kettle on!!

Ride a penny farthing to work. Better than blowing kisses and dressing like a total fanny. Guaranteed to raise a smile as well.
2 miles eh! – easy peasy as well.
Think about the kudos at work when you rock up on one, folk will never look at you the same again. “Ordinary”, not me mate!

Odd wall last. Wrap the lighter paper round about half an inch or so, and that way you wont have any dark shadows down the corner.

Make sure you (might be stating the obvious here) paste the paper edge properly as this ensures that it sticks first time and doesn’t lift. Might sound obvious, but I have just re-papered the sister in laws hallway after a “pro” did it. Frankly with all his experience, I would have expected that A) his joints would be flat and, B) there would be no shiny bits where he rubbed the edge to death trying to flatten his poorly pasted edges.

Follow the instructions on how long to wait for the paste to sit on the paper before you hang it too, this stops shrinking. Use a new stanley blade to cut papers at top and bottom (and corners), and use a proper decorators scissors for nice cuts. Use the same scissors (edge) to push the paper in at the tops, bottoms and corners so the cuts are cleaner (Dont use the scissor to do the actual cuts though). Also – using your finger to push paper in means that sometimes when the paper is cut, gaps emerge – not nice.

Good to see that Doblo fans are out there. The wife has even agreed that a trip to the Alps this summer is on the cards because the car is so “multipurpose”. So yeah, thanks Fiat, you have made my year.
Now where to book?

Spatial vortexer for forth dimensional amalgamation of trivisional lifeforms

Heading to the Alps myself this summer with the car. Wont be taking on an epic like this as the wife would shoot me, but parts of it are definitely appealing.
Fantastic account though. Very readable and some brilliant pictures – Thanks!

Without referring back to my notes, what I remember of Lejog is this. Could have picked better rides through Devon and Cornwall instead of the mental dual carriageway ride we did end up on – do not do that!.
Bristol to Evesham (mate lived there) was fine and quiet, with some decent routes and good cycle paths. Liverpool to Morcambe and then onto Gretna was fantastic. Even on A roads in middle of summer it felt pretty quiet and views were spot on. Scotland is virtually cyclepathed to death if you follow the A9 north to Inverness.
Take the cycle route to Dingwall first from Inverness, its all offroad tarred cyclepath and you wont be run over by the eejits who have no regard for cyclists in this area. From there take old Evanton road and then ride up to Bonar Bridge. Its very quiet and will be the hilliest part you will encounter.
From there its mostly singletrack road to Bettyhill and beyond,with no cyclepaths at all, but then you are only likely to run into sheep anyway.
If you can, avoid the A9 north of Inverness at all costs. Its pretty busy with loads of blind corners and almost zero cyclepaths. Plus the scenery is nowhere as “Scottish” as you get riding from Lairg to the North cost.

Indeed it is a van with seats in the back. Bit like driving a greenhouse what with all the space inside. There is even a shelf above your head you could virtually lie in. Reckon I’ll be sticking a mattress in it for summer jollies away

Heading for Skye one day on the motorbike I found myself in a situation that even today I cant believe I survived.
Diddling along past the five sisters (range of hills – not local ladies) cos it was a bit dampish, I came round a corner doing about 50, when **** me a Skye marble lorry was overtaking a naval fuel bowser right into my face.
Luckily it was a left hander and I was banked over a wee bit, but even then I had about 2 feet left to play with. The tosser didn’t even slow down or brake. In fact he had already gone through one bend and this was his second. What he was doing playing Russian roulette I’ll never know.
Now I turned the bike round and passed everyone inc the trucker (at least 10 cars behind both trucks), then came to a halt in order to get his number. Of course I promptly forgot it cos my knees turned to jelly. But if I ever meet the f****r on a dark night, I will make sure he never drives a lorry – ever, ever again!

Hey ho! – Not sure why you want to avoid the North bit. Thats what Scotland is all about.
South of Glasgow is rolling empty(relatively) landscapes, very picturesque, but not the same as the Highlands. However they do have some of the best biking routes in Scotland at 7stanes, which is epic.
Wild camping – in Scotland, anywhere you damn well please.
BBQ – As above
Beaches – Plenty everywhere, mostly empty and usually great views
Distances – 3 hrs from Glasgow will take you to inverness or Fort William. Beyond that in any direction, 1hr will take you into epic riding territory.
Riding – Skye/Torridon/Aviemore for starters.
Bunkhouses are everywhere now, but make sure you book in advance for the more popular areas.
Scenery – How long have you got (Google Sgurr na Moraich for an idea)
Where NOT to wildcamp – beside burns/rivers or near/in woods. Midges will eat you alive anytime after June. Pick a spot in the open, all you need is a light breeze and the little blighters will vanish.
Put Golspie/laggan and Fort William on your list of Highland trail centres and enjoy.

Cead Mile Failte

I was going to say dont! – but seeing as everyone else has gone there, how about-
What are your strengths/weaknesses?
What can you bring to the job that others don’t/cant?
Why would you like to work for us?
Tell me about a time when you coached and supported a colleague?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Can you work unsociable hours at short notice?
Explain why your job history has gaps? (or not) – if not highlight key skills
When dealing with a client how would you achieve a positive resolution?

Oh aye, dress appropriately. The amount of people I have interviewed who put NO effort into making an effort really p*****s me off.
Firm handshake, smile, listen to the questions and keep your answers short (not too short). Dont waffle if you have no clue/experience, say you dont know. Sit on your hands if you are a shuffler as well.
AND please turn you phone off, and do NOT answer it half way through an interview – apologise and turn it off, dont ignore it. At least stopping the interview cos you have screwed up shows balls at least.

AND – good luck mate, you never know what doors it might actually open if you show interest/aptitude. Not all crap jobs are crap.

I have a medium. They tend to be great for singletrack, but because you can’t get a short stem, the steering a a bit slow. Its crap on fast flowy downhills that throw in the odd tech bit”s”. Now I’m talking about a 2004 model that I rebuilt with a 140 lefty. It’s a fab bike and I love it, but she is only out In the summer cos leftys are shite in wet weather and water ingress is really a pain to prevent.
The weird trunnion shock is one of the most compliant and tuneable I have ever used, but if it leaks again I’m screwed cos they don’t do spares for them ( manitou version). The fox shock is rebuildable though. TBH, if you want a cannondale, check the forums in the states first as they can be a bit marmite and parts availability can be a pain for older bikes ( over 5 years).

Went up Ben Wyvis on Sunday, not enough to ski on thats for sure.

Try sandsurfing at Opononi in the north west of north island. Great fun and cheap as chips. Lots of dirt roads to take you big distances and great public hot baths everywhere as well. Went up in a seaplane for £25 each for half hour (more than enough time to get airsick) at Rotarua. Mental coming in to land at 100mph!!!
Get a good book on “tramping” or walking as us civilised folk call it, and do some of the great trails around coromandel and Mt Taranaki. In fact go climb Mt Taranaki, just dont try to do it in a cyclone like I did.
Do the North or the south islands, just dont do both unless you have plenty time to spare – like 6+ months.

Loch Lomond Gold for me. Only trouble is, I’m a bit of a lightweight and the 500ml bottles put me on my a***e, much rather the wee 350’s.

That vid is OK, but this one is better http://vimeo.com/18019272 To be fair though, Hannah Barnes wins hands down every time

Scotland is running a process called the “zero waste policy” aimed at reducing material to landfill to virtually nothing – or Zero as they like to call it. It part of the EU’s “Directive 2008/98/EC on waste (Waste Framework Directive)” to deliver more sustainable waste management in Europe.
I would think that England and wales will have similar policy’s, these are however open to individual interpretation depending on the council in question. They should have a bit on their website about timelines and what their aims are for starters.

Did the Rotarua trails a few years ago and they were some of the best I have ever ridden. Rode them on a total shed of a hire bike with bald tyres. That was the kicker though – the lad who did the hiring said stick with the baldy tyres as they have more grip – and boy was he ever right. The trail is like sandpaper and rides really well. Yep a full sus would have been even better, but I was having so much crack I never noticed.
I would reiterate the point about locking the van/car/whatever though. NZ has become notorious for thieving from tourist wagons, and no its not me moaning, their own press was full of it. My wife is Kiwi and she was mightily embarrassed by it, but hey, thieving gits are everywhere, not just NZ.
There didn’t seem to be a lot of trails set up the same way as we have them in Scotland though, but the benefit is that they have a much better waymarked trail system than in Scotland. Check the local DOC (Dept of Conservation) website for the areas you are going to, and ask for advice on where you can and cant go. A lot of areas are off limits due to it being private land, so asking will save you p****g folk off.

OK I left myself open to some abuse on this one. Not quite my intention, so here is my second attempt at clarity.

I don’t use trail centers often anyway seeing as I have endless fab stuff on my doorstep, however to access it, you need to be a bit handy with maps etc (which I can before you pick on that as well).
However, for a great deal of our local kids thats just not an option and while wild riding is where its at for so called experts, its inaccessible to most folk. Look around, how many people couldnt be even bothered to cycle along a canal towpath, never mind head for what ever hills are local.
For local Inverness riders – Yes there are kids cycling up the mast at Craig Dunain, but the tracks are completely out of reach for beginners, learnie is 15 miles away and I sure as hell would not want my kids cycling out towards Abriachan or Drum.
So!!! – in summary, the post was meant to highlight the poor access for beginner to average riders wanting to upgrade their skills in a relatively safe environment – not the fact I havent the imagination to figure out where Torridon or the Dionard loop is.

Met a load of mums/dads/kids on the last section near the car park. Thought to myself that it would be ideal for them, until that is we ran into some rather big rollers. Not much fun if you were the wee man in the baby seat on the back of dads bike. Otherwise the course is a great intro for bikers new to the sport.

Before you jump in an get signed up – check what is happening with British cycling first. I believe they are overhauling the MTB leader process as we speak, – the cynical b****r in me thinks its so they can get more cash in the coffers, but hey!, I may be wrong.

Dont offer advice or help to the professionals
Stay away from the operational drop zone
Avoid incoming missiles from the delivery unit
Ensure the delivery unit is well supplied with provisions
Do not under any circumstances take cover in the rear echelons (coward)
Take a sharp object to stab your hand with if you are feeling faint
Expect the drop zone operators to abuse you when you do faint

GO TO THE PUB/FAKE INJURY/MOVE OUT – some of the better advice I as a proud dad can give you

Id get up nice an early and take the dogs out in the private forest at the back of the house – you know!, the one with graded trails etc. Have a nice lite breakfast and get to work rebuilding the latest classic bike project in my snap-on equipped workshop.
For lunch I’d have a few mates round and we could then take the helicopter shuttle up the really big hill at the back of my house. Couple of runs in before dinner, and then a Loch Lomond Gold in the hot tub watching the sun set across the Loch in front of the really ridiculously large house I now own.
Taking said mates to Morocco in the Kamaz Dakar special for a week or two exploring the High Atlas would also feature highly. Bugger sitting at home getting p***d, snorting coke and hookers (OK thats different) but hey, its all good.

We’ve been out to South Africa twice with goodwill and growth for Africa (GAGA). They work with a variety of groups in kwa Zulu natal about half hour out of Pietermaritzburg. Look them up at http://www.gaga-uk.org/ then give them a ring and ask for Charlie Homer. He’s a great lad with a huge amount of experience in operating in South Africa.

Did it on a full suss cannondale lefty last year and kept up with the lads on racers no probs, and had a way easier time on rough roads. Fitted 1.3 wide slicks, and halfway through a full length rear gear outer as the crap weather caused the setup to seize every day (known fault on Jekylls). However because of the poor weather I had to spend about an hour every day cleaning and prepping the bikes (3) purely because of the amount of water and rubbish getting into cables and putting stuff out of synch.
We took no spares beyond cables and chain links. Pretty pointless in the UK anyway, with a bike shop on every corner, or at least a way of getting there quick via public transport.
The worst bit of road if you come up via Abingdon services was a 10 mile section (southside)that was overtopped with what felt like boulders. The guys on racers had a helluva time on it.
Its bloody hard work but great crack though. Enjoy!!!

[<img src=”http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8545/8607570058_870b72d302.jpg&#8221; width=”375″ height=”500″ alt=”Bob the posh dog on Moruisg”>]

47 Here. Will happily drop off four feet, but wouldn’t touch doubles with a barge pole. Completely cleared the second to last tabletop at Golspie a few years back and suffered a busted toe, finger and burst nose for my “bravery/stupidity”, as well as bent bars and a wrecked saddle.

Would love to be able to jump silly stuff, but you need time on the bike for that, and I can’t spare it – so I’ll just youtube the stuff I can’t do and enjoy someone else my age breaking his bones

Old guy admits to not looking, well at least he had the balls to say so. Cyclist however, well that was simply natural selection in action. Having spent time with “leisure” cyclists, they seem to think that the rules of the road don’t apply to them and its pretty scary watching them”interact” with traffic.

love it when the weather forecaster (the clue should be in the name) tells me it has been p****g down all morning – hey sweetie, I know, now tell me something I don’t.

Once had someone answer a mobile in an interview – “hang on, do you mind if I get this” says she. Oh well thinks I, at least you’ll save me the effort of following a proper interview process. Just wish I had asked her to leave there and then, but being a gentleman I thought I had better follow through – stupid mare.

My boathouse needs painting if they are stuck for a job

[/quote]14 and 17 this week here and I have to confess that we have no stroppiness or particular moodiness at all. Both have a good sense of humour and we all get on fine

Nope, no point coming on here to winge – my girls were fine too. Dead funny having your daughter tell you jokes that are soooo now – when you used to tell them to your mates years ago

14 and 17 this week here and I have to confess that we have no stroppiness or particular moodiness at all. Both have a good sense of humour and we all get on fine

Nope, no point coming on here to winge – my girls were fine too. Dead funny having your daughter tell you jokes that are soooo now – when you used to tell them to your mates years ago

Cooool

http://tinyurl.com/nmrvhzq

My uncle was an alcoholic, and it virtually destroyed him. Then one day he just stopped smoking and drinking. No idea how he did it, but he was a tenacious man to say the least. Dedicated the last few years of his life working with fellow alcoholics, one of whom incredibly went onto become a police superintendent.
Awful disease though.

Car/bike/fast – hey anyone can drive like a total t*t, but that indeed took driving to levels of stupidity that even Ghostrider (Swedish biker for the uninitiated) couldn’t manage. Yes the car is faster than bikes (200mph v 180 odd), but frankly if you want to kill folk then either will do the trick.
Must be getting old when stuff like this makes me shake my head – oh well

Dont forget the tubeless tyres Mr Swayne. Apparently there was one poor soul on “Trad” tyres and he spent all day fixin punctures