I think the most important and positive change in engaging with the first baby that came into my life was understanding the difference between caring and minding. It’s a bit of a personal philosophical thought and I’m not always the most eloquent of people, so please excuse me if this is a bit jumbled.
I think a lot of the way that we are engaged with getting things done in the modern world is by being taught to mind about it. Once you mind about something you create goals and strategies to achieve those goals. You make put yourself in a critical mindset that motivates and can push you forward and people can achieve incredible things when they mind about something. The trouble is it’s not a strategy that works for all situations, and in my experience it particularly doesn’t work for babies because there are no goals or agenda, you have to give yourself over to them and the only way to do that is to put yourself in a mindset of caring.
Caring is about being present and attentive outside of your own needs, whilst still acknowledging that you have to look after yourself. Caring is how you learn to change a nappy in the middle of the night without being really sure if you are awake or not. Caring is laughing at the baby sick on your clothes in an important meeting.
I think reading all the books you can find is no bad thing, they can really help on some specifics, but I think the overall underlying mind set is the most important thing.
Reading that back it sounds awful preachy, sorry, didn’t mean it to be, hopefully someone else has something more specific to help.