but how long would you expect?

Did you ask them? What did they say?

Wig Reaction? Chiggle?

Blimey, paintwork is a bit challenging on that Boardman

A blue and yellow stripe round the top of the seatpost. What design genius thought of that one?

Did someone mention me?

I’m not sure about that look. Is it Blue Steel or Magnum?

How can you explore a road?

I explored a few roads in my racing days. Sometimes very closely, at speed :-)

You can almost hear the sub-editor yawning as they cobble together this nonsense.
Downhill riding is an increasingly popular type of mountain biking says the caption to a picture of a lycra clad XC mincer on a hardtail :-)

Head height freezer that my parents gave us (secondhand) about 30 years ago and still working nicely. I think it’s an Electrolux but the badge fell off a decade or so ago so I can’t be sure. Not really ‘white’ goods, more grimy yellow goods, but it’s cold on the inside which is all that matters.

No problem, you leave your laptop and paperwork spread out all over the table we’re sharing and glare at me hostilely as if you were in your own private office. I’ll just balance my cup of coffee and bacon roll on top of it. Oops! Sorry about that.

The Welsh bench against Ireland?

Damn. too slow

Dad Peter, doping-suspended son Niels, and a friend were caught on camera stealing two expensive parakeets from a shop

Astana rider Scarponi implicated :-)

Here it is, the last one:

It’s all right, someone in a Hilux will be along to tow it to a garage in a minute.
Looking forward (not) to spending tomorrow trying to fix the weird electrical fault on my 25 year old 90.

I’m only Welsh if people assume I’m English.

Always hard work explaining that to Americans, who seem to regard England and Britain as synonymous.

So you’re English?
No, I’m Welsh.
But you live in England
No, I live in Wales.
And Wales is in England right?
Sigh, whatever.

To new member on first road club ride:
“See that old duffer* over there? He always struggles on club runs. Tell him you’ll look after him and give him a push if he needs it.”

*The late Roger Queen, former 50 mile TT champion.

Also stw is full of die hards

Not me, I embrace progress.
My first MTB had rigid forks, steel handlebars, cantilever brakes, 3 x 7 gearing, 1.75 skinwall tyres and toe clips and straps.
I’m now down with the kids on a MK1 Soul with 120 forks, 2 x 10 gears and SPD pedals and some handlebars made of this new carbon fiber wonder material. I’ve even got a road bike without down-tube friction shifters and tubular tyres.
At this rate of progress I’ll be riding a 1 x 11 27.5 tubeless full susser with a dropper post somewhere around 2040.

pet hate… folk who drive past a passing place and expect you to stick your car in the ditch or reverse half a mile so they can get past just because you have a 4×4…..

Had a good one of those. So I can reverse a Landy towing a trailer with a 7T digger on it 200 yards up a hill round a blind bend, or you can reverse your car 10 yards into a passing place the size of a supermarket car park. A tough choice made easier when the large Yorkshireman I was with suggested a third alternative involving rectal insertion :-)

Stayed in Malcesine a couple of year ago which was lovely, with some great walking and riding on Monte Baldo from the cable car, but as footflaps says LOTS of Germans and the town pretty much revolves round them.

the beach from Port Talbot works all the way down to Porthcawl is lovely

Indeed. Amazing sand dunes which were used to film Lawrence of Arabia. Obviously taking care never to point the cameras northwards.

And what did Sir expect to see from the window of a hotel in Port Talbot? The Great Barrier Reef? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon?
No, you get to admire the jewel in the crown of the British Dutch Indian steel industry.

The Garden Hotel (and Chinese Restaurant) in Bangor provided epic levels of rudeness from the moment we squeezed into their tiny car park only to be told we couldn’t park there
No park, guest only
But we are guests – we’re booked to stay here tonight
No park, guest only

My son’s complaint that there wasn’t a light bulb in his room was countered with the accusation that he must have stolen it.
You take it. Welsh all thieves, I know this

They continued this right through to breakfast the following morning
You have tea or coffee?
My wife and I will have coffee please, and my son would like tea
You have tea OR coffee. No both

The highlight was a delicacy I’d not sampled before – frozen toast. Whether they managed this culinary wonder by toasting the bread then freezing it, or freezing the bread then toasting it we never discovered.

All in all a truly memorable stay.

The green’s an ideal introductory trail IMO and is regularly done by novices and tiny tots. Walk up the hilly bits and take it easy on the descents and lots of opportunities to bail out and return by fireroad.

Too much money spent on art and not enough on science. Not a jot of funding so far for my social psychology project Alcohol consumption in rural Wales – a participant observation study

Series 2 is currently on BBC One Wales on Wednesday nights in two parts, 21.00 then 22.40, mixed Welsh and English dialog.

Damn, I’ve ridden up there a few times and never even thought about access rights. It’s mostly double track and clearly well used. Are they worried about cyclists damaging their gravel or something?

Reminds me of the Essex girl who locked her keys in the car. She rang the AA for help and they promised to come as soon as they could.
“Please hurry” she said, “Its a convertible, I’ve left the top down and its started to rain”

A friend ordered a pair of brake pads from CRC and received one. Not one pair, just one single pad.

heaven forbid if Chris Froome took up mountain biking.

He started out mountain biking, that’s why he has such superb bike handling skills :-)

£1 for under 12s in Welsh League Cross races

What about the so-called moon landing?

You could always ask Buzz Aldrin

I think we need to negotiate an arms limitation treaty.

Too late. As soon as I hear the opening bars of Astronomy Domine I’m launching this

Prepare for the psychedelic apocalypse!

Could be perfect for someone with limited mobility intelligence

Conciousness is indeed a series of electrical impulses, energy if you like.. Memory and experience contained within our gurt brain lumps by some complex organic electrical storage system.

A theme explored in The Third Policeman by Flann O’Brien

“The gross and net result of it is that people who spend most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them, and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who nearly are half people and half bicycles.”

I let go a gasp of astonishment that made a sound in the air like a bad puncture.

“And you would be flabbergasted at the number of bicycles that are half human, almost half man, half partaking of humanity.”

I am a traditionalist and want to do a Christmas Dinner like I remember from when I was a kid

No, I’m trying to avoid that :-(

About as perfect as a 26″ wheeled hardtail could get.
120mm fork on the mk1 was its sweet spot.

Amen brother.

for your first 10 do not follow the advice of just going out and thrashing yourself

As Chris Boardman put it

It’s always a constant assessment of, ‘how hard am I trying, how far do I have to go, and is this sustainable?’ If the answer to the latter is ‘yes’ then you’re not going hard enough, if the answer is ‘no’ then it’s already too late, so the answer you’re looking for is ‘maybe’. Always maybe.

Here you go rusty;
http://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/britain-first-and-britain-first-armed-forces-groups.214420/

A classic ARRSE thread that manages to stray so far off-topic that it covers the declension of latin verbs and the continued desirability of Jenny Agutter. But mainly discusses how to get offensive BF posts removed from Facebook.

It’s much better than it was in the old days, when cycling was as popular as leprosy and ‘Your back wheel’s going round’ was considered the height of wit, and the Wiggins effect/Tour de Yorkshire has improved things a lot.
I was flogging my way up Langcliffe Scar last year and a couple of yoof in a boy-racer mobile drew up alongside and wound down the passenger window. I was just bracing myself for the abuse and beer can to be thrown when the lad started banging the car door and shouting encouragement in proper continental DS style, just like Marc Madiot except with a broad Yorkie accent :-)

my impression is partly based on the fact that Britain First adopt quasi-military uniforms and use support for British troops (in a horrible deceptive way) to garner money and support for their cause

Pretty much a one-way street though. Serving and ex military mostly regard BF as pathetic mouth-breathing walts and posts on ARRSE[/url] suggesting support or sympathy for BF tend to get responses robust enough to earn you an instant ban on STW.

Because “I’m going on a suicide mission, better take my real passport” isn’t the first thing you’d expect a professional terrorist to think.

Carrying ID is a legal requirement in France and pretty rigorously enforced, particularly in Paris. Stop and ask a cop for directions and they’re very likely to ask to see your ID. Some of the Charlie Hebdo terrorists had real ID cards on them I seem to remember.

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[Lady in Red starts playing on continuous loop]

Bristol to Llandovery and back is about a 180 mile round trip. Nothing wrong with a bit of old-school hardman style, but that’s borderline insanity!