Not using my daughter for anything, I want to be with her that is all, please bear in mind I’m on a very very steep learning curve here and my emotions are running very high.

And there is no alcohol in the house now.

I really must eat.

Well she turned up with my daughter to collect some clothes etc, I told her that my daughter will stay with me today and overnight, oh boy she didn’t like that even saying that she will turn up with the Police.

Anyway I stood my ground, she said she would check on me this evening to make sure I hadnt been drinking, something that never bothered her before when I looked after my daughter when the she was st the gym, out with freinds etc.

I mentioned Relate, she wasn’t interested.

Woke up at 7am and was still as angry as hell, drove over to her parents to see my daughter, I got angry and aggressive.

Didn’t do myself any favours, but what the hell am I supposed to do in this situation, how the hell can anyone expect me to be calm, 24 hours ago I had a family, now nothing.

ough love on here tonight fella. I hope you can take it all in the helpful and supportive spirit in which it’s intended.

Have you considered that you might be more efficient at your job without that amount of alcohol sloshing around your body on a regular basis (let alone the fat that you’ll likely be driving above the legal limit too)?

Yep, I need to change.

yep as above, in motion.

yes and yes to Druidh and CG,

I know a fair few people on here for rides in my area, pretty sure I can arrange a ride with them if I want to, but I’m a bit of a loner ridewise.

in between.

2 bottles of wine a night.

You may be the busiest man alive, but I’m sure you still have at least one friend, or parents, or at least somebody close who gives a shit about you enough to pick the phone up if you call them?

My mum has been great as is has my sister, but I don’t want to burden then as my mums heart isn’t so great and my sister has MS.

I have been quite negative of this forum in the past but the words of advice and comfort have been very welcome.

Thanks.

Phone a friend?

I don’t really have an currently, I’ve lived a varied life the people I were freinds with when I was younger joined the armed forces, a couple are deadbeats although I supported them giving them employment, but they are not the people to turn to in this situation and I don’t actively seek freinds, work, home and family are what are important to me, a big chunk of that has gone.

(and I suspect several hit the Coke a bit too).

Yes, been there done that, a long time ago but suddenly today it all comes back to haunt me.

Yes it makes perfect sense, but I’m struggling, I came home to find my daughters toys on the floor where she left them this morning, quite frankly I’m in bits my eyes look like piss holes in the sand as I have been crying so much.

At the moment I need crutch, it’s not right but at right now I have nothing left.

I should add that I do get out and ride a lot, I even race occasionally.

Druidh, you are right but finding the balance isn’t easy, nigh on impossible, for instance last night I was on the phone sorting a problem out at 10pm, than at 7am this morning I was on the phone again, my lovely little daughter just wanted to watch peppa pig on my phone, oh christ this is hurting so much.

Not sure what I can say that may help either OP. Keep busy and stay off the booze I guess, talk to her if you think it can be salvaged.

Having a drink tonight, she even told me to, that said I really should eat. I went to her Mothers house after work and pleaded and pleaded with her told her about the doctors, not interested.

14 years together and it all seems to be gone.

Heart broken doesn’t cover it.

I do have to say though – your unwillingness to “take a day off”, even for something like this, makes me wonder if you’re really getting your priorities straight. I know that being the breadwinner puts you under pressure to bring home that monthly pay cheque, but sometimes you need to look at the whole family life:work balance and get a bit of perspective.

In all fairness you are not wrong, I haven’t had a proper holiday eg. 1 weeks+ for 17 years or so, bank holiday weekends are nice but cost me lost income, but it’s all down to me I’ve worked so hard just to be mediocre, but we have a nice house and cars and my daughter is such a happy soul and tomorrow she won’t be there when I wake up.

I’m struggling with this thought.