I took the trump 2+2 thing and made a bike version…
“I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, ‘what’s a protect bike lane’? And I tell them, look, we know what a protected bike lane is. We’ve had almost eight years, eighty years even, of the worst kind of bike lanes you can imagine. Oh, my God, I can’t believe it. The bike facilities you’re using now are just terrible. It’s just terrible. Look, if you want to know what good bike infrastructure is, do you want to know what good bike infrastructure is? I’ll tell you. First of all, the bikes, by the way, I love bikes. It’s probably my favorite mode of transportation, no it is my favorite mode of transportation, except for my private plane, did I tell you I had a private plane? You know what, it’s probably more a mode of transportation for poor people. If I’m being honest, I mean, if I’m being honest. I like poor people. As long as they don’t hold me up when I’m trying to make a right turn, it’s those people I don’t like. Though, I probably shouldn’t say that. Cyclists are nice people too, but they’re like, give me protected bike lanes, on and on, like that. You know what I mean? I don’t know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these cyclists, and we can let them share our roads or we can build separate space for them. You know what we’ll do? We’ll make them pay for the bike lanes. Did you know that? We can make them pay! They pay taxes already, but we can make them pay more, they don’t tell you that, and I’ll tell you, no one is better at making people pay for things. You wouldn’t believe it. So, we’re gonna make the best protected bike lanes in the world.”