From reading your posts, the tone that stands out for me is almost one of putting the responsibility on yourself for this marriage ending.

There seems to be almost a justification for your wifes decisions and although you clearly still love her, you also have a right to feel and express anger and disappointment.
I sense that your long post, detailing the course and events of the marriage is your way of rationalising what has happened. this is ok, because it may help you to see where things have taken a different path, but do not forget your emotions.

In order to accept what has happened and then move forwards, you must express the feelings and emotions that go alongside your thoughts.

My conservatory roof has just leaked too.
It is also having a big blob of sealant on it tomorrow to hopefully stop it happening again,

£33 for 8ft with a bucket.
I am in Nottingham, got it from an independent seller who pops up every year 🙂

We are going to California. A week at Disney and that area, followed by a week on the beach at san diego 😀

My cat killed my neighbours chickens, but didn’t eat them.

Make sure you get a spray or diatomacious earth to prevent red mite, as once you have it, it can be very difficult to get rid of.

Also, they will trash your garden 😀

I took my 3 boys to the cinema to watch it in 3d

Was fantastic 😀

Being an old DOS user, I have never followed the trend of using ‘My Documents’ or whatever the default is. I’ve always created my own directories (sorry folders) direct from the root.

I’m really not very good with computers, so wouldn’t know where to start.
But thank you for the help, I have successfully done it with my videos and music libraries now, so just photos and docs to go 😀

I have just read the link and that is the same as my message . I want to try it but am scared when I restore the default libraries they will be empty…wish me luck

It is windows 8.

I have managed to look in ‘my recent places’ and email a document to my son, but on my email account it says there is no document attached, but he did receive it and he has emailed it back to me and it is there.

the problem is not all of my documents were in folders, the ones I am still working on were just under ‘documents’ not specific folders, that’s where I put them once I have completed the work .

I’m going to Krakow on Tuesday.

Just wondering what to pack, whether wise is it like here?

This colour compliments your tiles better than black would have done,

Are you going to paint the insides of the doors?

Maybe I should take my gazebo cover off then.
Don’t want it flying away

So often, when you get a psychiatric/mental health call ,all they need is someone to talk to.

I sometimes prefer it when the ambulance takes a long time to arrive, then at least I get the time to listen to the caller and give them that bit of time, as when they get to hospital, they so often just get sent back home again, as seen in tonight’s programme.

Give him a squeeze, that’ll get things moving 😀

Of course, you could always ask your daughters what they want.

At 13 yrs old, I know myself and most other girls were quite self aware and if my mum signed for me to have an injection that I did not want, there is no way I would have had it!

I cant imagine the wishes of the girls are not asked about!

Drac – Moderator
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/999-whats-your-emergency

Most of the time

A decent wage.

I work in the control room.
Really enjoy it, but don’t get paid very much.

I don’t have regrets, they were all learning experiences. Different ones could have led to different outcomes, but that’s life.

I don’t think it is emotionally healthy to dwell on what could have been.

Behavioural therapies include CBT which are ‘teacher-pupil’ based methods of learning techniques.

Humanistic therapies include Person-centred, gestalt, integrative, transactional anaylsis , they are ‘client led’, equal based on the belief that everyone has the ability within themselves to find the resolutions, through exploration and talking with their counsellor.

Psychodynamic therapies are Freudian , ‘expert’ based using your unconscious mind and the counsellors interpretation of your problems.

Hope this helps you understand a little more so you can make an informed choice.

Look on Counselling Directory, it only lists counsellors who are accredited to a professional body, as there is no national regulation, anyone can call themselves a counsellor.

I personally wouldn’t recommend CBT for your problems as I think you would benefit more from a humanistic (talking, client-led) therapy.

If life were that simple I would !!

Yes they get their cake and eat it.
The infuriating thing is, I was told I would have the opportunity to apply for a substantive position when they became available, but this hasn’t happened.
New staff come in on a substantive contract and myself and the others on zero hours have been overlooked again and again.

I work for the NHS on a zero hours contract and don’t get any increments, sick pay or other benefits of a permanent contract, yet I have to work every weekend and often at very short notice ( same day or one day ) .

I do the same job as my colleagues, yet feel taken for granted and not valued by management as all of my work is in their favour, not mine.

Looking forward to it, they filmed in the ambulance control room where I work, so get to see it from both sides.

Will be good to see what calls were matched up with the patients.

I am not sure if I would have had it or not, if I could turn the clock back a few years!
Have you asked your daughter what she wants?

I have had treatment for an abnormal smear test/pre-cancerous cells and it wasn’t a pleasant experience, and I now have to have annual checks.

But then again, I am not in favour of jabs for this and that without knowing all the risks, and this one for me is still too new for me personally to feel at ease with it.

Pet Cemetary was my first 😀

I’m going to stick to my decision, even though I feel bad. I’m one of those people who try to help everyone… animals, birds, insects, people – everything. I’m learning to curb my altruistic tendencies but I can’t help it, I just rush in to try to save everything and then end up broke, tired and stressed…

note to self: STOP HELPING PEOPLE.

I would be considering why you feel the need to help everyone and everything?
Are you a rescuer who tries to help and fix people?

These sort of problems can need just as much work as your friends problems.

Anyway, hope you can be congruent enough with your friend and that it doesn’t cause any lasting issues 🙂

As you said you do everything together, why not buy her a day out with a friend?
If she doesn’t like cities, how about a theme park or a concert?

I would also get a special piece of jewellery, maybe a bracelet.
She may not be into much jewellery, but it is still a nice keepsake.

Organisation, roles and routines.

That way both you and the kids know the way things are expected to be.

I have 3 on my own permanently and it can be extremely tough at times, but rewarding too .

I am just eating a blackberry and rhubarb crumble I made earlier, all from my own garden

I swim before work but not at a council pool, it is at David Lloyd so not full of old grannies.

I just take a few snacks with me as I get hungry afterwards but feel more energised, not tired.

We’ve had a succession of absolutely nightmare neighbours. The list of problems are far too long to document here but in summary, the woman next door was completely crazy, massively unpredictable and prone to drunken benders which created a whole series of problems. She seemed to push her husband over the edge and he turned from a nice enough bloke into a similar character. On the other side the guy was a poor petty criminal, was clearly into numerous insurance scams and most of his friends when they visited were rather unsavoury characters who for a while would deliberately park across our drive because I complained once when it happened.

On the back was this awful, awful woman who spent her whole day screeching at the kids and dog in this nerve-wrenching fishwife voice, listening to the radio really loudly and generally being very obnoxious. You could guarantee as soon as the weather was nice, we’d have to shut all the windows and doors at the back of the house because of the noise from her garden. She’d have big pissed up BBQ’s as well where everyone got really aggressive. Try complaining to a load of drunk twenty something blokes with very small foreheads and see what threats they send over.

Did the good win in the end? Did we get the council and police involved to calm them all down? Sorry but no. After 18 years of varying poor neighbour behaviour like this, we’ve moved out. We’d have moved sooner if it was constant but it did vary and our tolerance levels varied accordingly.

So we’ve moved. New neighbours are fantastic. Both sides are really friendly, very helpful and we’re already getting on well with them all. It may be giving in but it was worth it.

Very similar here, I have horrific neighbours, been going on for four years now.

The environmental health dept and police get involved but nothing changes. The whole family are losers, none work and they have constant parties.

I work 7-7 , 3 on 3 off and have 3 children too!

It is a killer with sleep, or lack of it , especially on school days when I drop youngest off at 9am and then have to pick him up at 12.

Getting used to being absolutely knackered is the main thing to get used to. But if you have a partner who will help with the kids then that is good. I don’t , so have to juggle it all, but you will find your own routines.

Also, there is never any free time to get bored if you have a house , gardens , kids etc to look after!!

i know employers who will bend if the employee brings something with them, others treat staff as cannon fodder and don’t care. I think this comes back to the skills and employability issue. A good employee, will get a job, and the employer will do what they can to help. But if you have little to offer you are going to find it hard.

The other thing, applying for jobs is soul destroying, each rejection hurts, it is easier said, to not take it personally than in practice to believe it. Been there done that and don’t want to go back there. How many rejections can someone take before they give up, and assume they are worthless?

It is a real bug bear of mine that education is not free as an adult learner, some courses are , but many need paying for. if somebody wants to train or learn a skill to enable them to find work, then it should be funded , but it isn’t. This is why people get stuck.
I also understand how soul destroying rejections are and it can make you give up. But…..
This is where the experiences of home life/upbringing and work ethics come into play. if somebody has been raised to believe in themselves and to believe that working is better than not working, then that person will keep on trying until they do get a job.
The others might give up but I don’t believe there are many people genuinely happy on the dole, that in itself long term can bring feelings of worthlessness and rejection. It is a circle that is very difficult to break out of, but not impossible.

not in my experience, and 30% is still alot of money to find if your on minimum wage.

Then there is a real issue with flexibility, if you have kids you have to be in a certain place at a certain time, employers too often forget employees have lives outside of work.

yes it is hard, but that is life. Most people have to juggle or make sacrifices in one way or another, not just those with children. It is about setting a good example to your children to show them that you work for your money.

Employers can be flexible if you explain your circumstances. Not all are I know that, but unless you ask, you will never know.

I have 3 children, raise them on my own, work full time, youngest just turned 4yrs, so completely appreciate how difficult working and being a single parent is. I also have to work unsociable hours and some weekends, but where there’s a will there’s a way 😉

The benefit trap makes a lot of people choose not to work as they wouldn’t be financially any better off.
It is hard enough for experienced and qualified people to get jobs at the moment so imagine how much harder it is if you are a bit thick. A minimum wage job is all you can hope for.

Lack of aspiration and work ethic is what needs challenging, as if these people have never worked they wont appreciate how self esteem and confidence etc that are linked to working.

I’ve got friends with a kid ( or two) and you can’t work if your on your own with a kid. No one to look after it, and no one will give you a job anyway.

Using kids as an excuse not to work doesn’t wash either because there is ample provision for childcare, subsidised from age 2 in most areas if on a low income and 70 per cent of costs covered by tax credits. All primary schools have provision or links to breakfast and after school clubs too.

Yes it does make work a bit more of a juggling act, and some might see it as too much ‘hassle’ but it is better in the long run for the kids to know their mum or dad goes out to work, after all they are their role model.

I always get mine from Asda as they have really good rates, better than the Post Office.

I work 12 hr shifts 7-7, days or nights on a zero hours contract, so I might do 2, 3 or more shifts a week.
Only get 45mins for lunch though. The hardest part is being sat down in front of a screen for all that time!

In my life there is not enough just me.

I am always busy and don’t have much free time to spend by myself or doing what I want.

Piz Buin once a day is very good too.

I never send my bank statements to defer my student loans. Just send the child benefit award letter , or a copy of, that should be fine.