I am, depressed that is, and I have been for the last 10 years.
Seems so long now that I find it difficult to remember what It was like to not be depressed in some way. I did spend an awful amount of time a few years back being bounced around different medical types who had different takes on what it was and how to treat it.
At the moment, i spend inordinate amounts of the day in a mood that ranges from sarcastic, depressive, obsessive, argumentative, quick to temper amongst others. What I do find difficult is finding a happy mood for any length of time. I’ll get an idea in my head (for example, I might learn how to ride a motorbike) and obsess about it for hours if not days then all of a sudden, after deciding to change everything about myself to fit into a mould that I believe you fit in to, will talk myself out of it.
It affects my work, my chance of moving forward at work, my relationship with my wife and how I am with people.
On the bright side – My doctor is taking it seriously and has referred me to the psychiatric nurse (?) at the local hospital. Also after hours of checking my symptoms online (the weirdest lately, electric shocks in my hip) have pointed me to Generalized Anxiety Disorder – for some reason I need to give it a name.
Not wanting to talk about it seems to be one of the symptoms – I’ve got it in my head that people would get sick of me talking about it.
And I can’t even get out on the bike because my back wheel is knackered :roll: