I suffer (is that the right word?…….deal with seems more apt) with depression, anxiety and, because of the first two, OCD

Every day I have to fight the slightest touch of boredom as that’s what brings my symptoms to the surface, my poor wife usually has to get some deep soul searching text message because I’m stuck in a loop of “I don’t know who I am”. I took a couple of days off this week just to use up some holidays and have spent about 90 minutes painting a Warhammer model because that’s todays obsession. I wake up some days angry with myself for constantly feeling this way, but then, as I’m my own worst enemy, I do nothing at all to help myself other than chomping down another Citalopram and trudging through the same shit day in and day out.

I’ve not even been out on the bike for over a year.

I locked myself away for an hour the other night and played guitar and surprised myself just how well I could actually carry a tune, but then ten minutes later the identity crisis rears its head again and the elation wears off.

Everything to me is a black cloud and i’m just sitting around waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

Clearly I have no useful words of wisdom, but if I listened to  advice sometimes, i’d probably say singletrackminds points method seems like a good idea and I might try it, sometimes I can have a habit of missing the little things and only concentrating what my mind has decided are the massive things that make me who I am…….which is mostly shite

(sorry, todays a rambling day it would seem)

passenger side wing mirror for a Mk 7 golf just cost me the princely sum of 500 quid to replace. All because it folds and lights up and all that.

While your licence will cover you up to 125cc on L Plates, you’ll need the CBT to be legal.

If you got your car license before a certain date, then you may be automatically licensed to ride up to 50cc …..just don’t ask me the date, but I am and I passed my test in 1994.

If you want reliable, then Honda. Varadero if you can. Big bike feel with a 125 v twin

Always comparing myself to others, can’t take criticism, hate being wrong, afraid of failure, won’t take risks, won’t get involved unless it will make me look bad if I don’t, it’s a long list

Are you sure you’re not me posting subconsciously  under an assumed name?

I too have battled the black dog in one way or another most of my life. An overbearing mother who felt the need to pass her neurosis on to me when she figured she couldn’t control my sister put paid to any confidence I may have had.

I have tried counselling a couple of times and between one person who just sat telling me about her husbands cars, to the trainee who listened brilliantly, so brilliantly in fact they never once offered any sort of coping mechanisms or ways to improve my feelings or thoughts in any way. I’ve also been diagnosed with OCD and Aspergers, depending who you talk to.

Recent successes for me have been exercising more (seems a cliche, but it gives me a temporary boost…….and i’m fat, so there’s that)

I took some time away from social media, because it’s poison. I didn’t delete anything, I just reduced my screen time.

I tried to chop my days up in to wins, little things, I did the dishes, i didn’t stare at Facebook waiting for it to change. I washed the car, I didn’t shout at my daughter because I was really frustrated with myself. I took a day off work and watched Star Wars.

I read this:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

I’m not one for self help, but this was the first one that didn’t make me want to kick myself in the nuts.

I’m currently taking small steps towards understanding what makes me tick, what I like and what I don’t like. I still put on a front that I don’t give a damn, but it’s a massive lie I just keep telling myself. I’m miles of where I need to be and a lot of days are lower than others. but what I do know is that it can’t last forever, and it’s about getting through the next day with a win under my belt. I feel like crap today but at least I went to the gym, sorted out a new mortgage rate and booked the wifes car in for its service. so today could be described as a win.

If you want to PM then feel free, i’ll make sure my e-mails in my profile.

my doppelganger

It’s on at 9pm on Channel 4 +1

Apart from 9/11 has America ever done any other false flag operations?

If you believe this sheep worrier, Sandy Hook, Vegas, anywhere there’s been a mass shooting in the last 20 years…….oh, and water makes frogs gay or something

If any of the “false flags” actually happened, then why let the nutters put forward the ideas?

(and that flat earth image is all wrong. Only an imbecile would believe that. Where are the ice walls dammit?)

In other batshit theories

He always did look a bit rapey….

Christ, hope you’re never on a jury

Looks like he mostly asked before cracking one off though…

What a gent

Is he standing far away from a normal sized bike?

I liked it, the plot was a but stretched out and just seemed to be more of the first one, but at least it didn’t feel as poe faced and serious as most of the drama stuff out there.

Hopefully they’ll tie it up in no more than one or two more series otherwise all the nostalgia might get a bit tiresome

I’m quite enjoying The Sinner at the mo.

I was just going to mention that, not seen it yet but it’s generating quite the buzz

Took our latest failed kettle – Morphy Richards – today, after 3yrs service

You take a kettle back after 3 years? wow, that’s a level of tightness i’ve never seen before

I love the ‘faff’ it adds to the experience of listening to it.

The tactileness (is that a word) of handling the music, reading the liner notes, studying the artwork. I still like CD’s because you get that, Just don’t get that with an MP3

Most new albums now come with a download card for the MP3’s which a lot of times would save the need for USB or faffing about

If I was buying a new turntable, i’d be looking at Rega or Project.

I bought my Technics 1200 15 years ago when I started buying vinyl again (before Sainsbury’s started stocking Wu Tang Clan) and it was £350 from Richer Sounds, the new Technics 1200GR (which is no different from mine) is £1300, the higher end G is 3k.

I use a little Behringer pre-amp after my previous amp died and I started using my backup amp, £20 and it’s perfectly good

Crikey… keep up at the back.

Turns out I missed the great Kardashian Wars of 2016 :D

World War Eleven?

I like to keep a resting heart rate of a serial killer so I watch this on a loop

you might be surprised and not be the worst there (wait, it’ll get more supportive) Just go and enjoy yourself, they’ll be plenty there willing to give you tips.

Was it a two lane road? You just say you couldn’t get past, also, you said he got off the bike, but then started pushing it. So did he go for a cup of tea while the guy was “hands on the bonnet”

Motorcyclists with earplugs will hear more than you can in your car, with your kids and wife who seems to be in charge of how you respond to other road users

I smell shite. Do you just feel the need to share but didn’t know how to come out like the good guy?

Jackass has always appealed to my childish sense of humour. The best clip has to be this one when they get Bam at the end

I only saw that recently and laughed harder than I should have, I think it’s the way he goes down

inlaws just got a Kia Cee’d auto, diesel, 1600, seems quite nice and not too small

Buffalo Tom – Let me come over
Sugar – Copper Blue(and Beaster EP recorded at the same time)
Fugazi – In On The Killtaker

I’ve got dozens if not hundreds. Typically I get a flash-back of something I did that was embarrassing and caused me anxiety at the time. It could be 5 years ago or 30, they come out of nowhere and cause me to shudder and sometimes say odd words. It’s weird.

Yes, this ^ – I was told it was OCD for me, between the above and not being able to make a decision and sticking to it my mind goes at 100 miles an hour some days

In the future, there is only war

Might be too steep a learning curve to hold interest, but it’s something you could both get involved with

Does anyone have the concept album that they did with Lou Reed.

Is that what killed him?

Not seen them live since the Black tour, Justice tour before that, really since then, and now with them living the clean lives, they’ve lost their edge a bit

If its a free or cheap ticket, there’s way worse to see live

I live just around the corner from the cycle path OP mentions, and it baffles me why a small section of cyclists refuse to use it, it’s billiard table smooth in most sections and stretches all the way along to the Livingston roundabout then all the way to Bathgate. Sure there are a few crossing points but for a big wussy like me who doesn’t like cycling on the road it’s perfect.

I don’t commute in the morning due to my shifts, but I did for 3 months and the problems caused by one cyclist refusing to go anywhere near a cycle path just baffled me.

If you can miss being chewed up in traffic and pootling along at a decent speed without having to worry about the wind off a 40 ton lorry, then i’ll put up with a few leaves.

Make electric bikes, capable of up to 40mph, full suss, discs and i’d ride one to work. Scooters that do the same are just pothole fodder, these look like great fun

He had many a great song, but this one stuck with me, he could just convey the emotion required so effortlessly (see also “I Won’t Back Down”

Pretty sure U2 is still in service

unfortunately, but Bono’s not taken the hint yet

Just read the 48 questions that remain unanswered, blimey, there’s some holes in that story.

Theories aside, 11 million quid is ripping the piss a bit really, but then not everyone is a fine upstanding citizen like them. Pretty sure if there were tattoos and shell suits involved, 11 grand would have been the limit.

I mean 22.50 for one figure WTF! Primaris Librarian

I have to say, the price is utterly shocking for some of the stuff. I fancied one of these, just really for show, till I saw that it retails for about 80 quid: