Of all the posts on both these threads this is the one that says it all to me.
crikey – Member
Where to start…
I’ve been there and done that, and thankfully come out the other side and older and slightly wiser man.
1). Stop with all the ‘it’s her fault because’ rubbish. You’ve been the baddy, and until you face up to it and accept your responsibility you and any relationship you end up in isn’t worth anything.
2). Stop with all the ‘my kids are my priority’ rubbish. You have chosen to take a course of action that will upset and damage your kids and your relationship with them; if they really were your priority, you wouldn’t be shagging someone else.
3). Sit and imagine, just for a moment, the sound of your wife sobbing quietly at 3 am.
She’s sobbing quietly because she doesn’t want to wake you, she’s sobbing because everything that she thought was ok suddenly isn’t, the last 20 years have just been thrown away so you can have sex with someone else.
4). Imagine sitting in desperation at the top of the stairs listening to your children talking about not having a dad anymore because ‘he’s got a new girlfriend now’
5). Imagine getting a letter, written by your youngest son, that begs you to come home and includes a toy train because he thinks you will be happier if he shared his toys with you.
I had an affair, then left home to live with the woman, didn’t work out, so I ended up living out of a suitcase, drunk for 3 months.
In the end I went back and asked if we could start again, and I got lucky.
You know what you are doing is wrong, and that feeling will eat away at you forever, gradually destroying your sense of self and sense of self worth.
Your call; make the right one.
Blimey, this made me feel bad and I’ve been faithful for 20 odd years !