My sisters, Elise and Tamzen, got mis-spellings all the time. The former got “Elsie” a lot, especially from more elderly relatives, and we had just about every connotation of Tamsyn/Tamsin/Tamzin possible. Didn’t really about them or my parents. At least no more sto than people spelling my dad’s name “Jeff”

Dunno which phone you’re on, but I use EasyTether’s software to tether my Motorola Defy to my PC.

Knackered it. Go and see a medical professional.

Isn’t Zimbabwe the same country that has the death penalty for being homosexual too? Man thats one messed up place

Might have something to do with that nice bloke called Bob they’ve, ahem, elected as President…

Not a limerick, but…

Way up in the frozen Arctic
Where no pongo or pom’s ever been
Lies the corpse of an f-ing great polar bear
F-ed to death by a Royal Marine.

I think one of the misconceptions about people who are religious is that their faith is all-encompassing, that they’re all out to convert you or ‘ram their faith down your throat’ (always makes me laugh that, and be honest, how often does it happen these days?).

3 times in the past 5 days, here. Pushy young men in cheap shiny suits with very polished teeth wanting to “talk to me about God”, who wouldn’t take “I’m not interested, pal” as an answer. I’ll cast no aspersions as to which denomination they might fall under, but it does make me wonder what they think they’ll achieve. I’m a grumpy looking bugger with a large beard and a permanent air of pi$$ed-off-ness, maybe they just fancy a challenge. :)

As above, depends what you’re wanting to shoot and where. I use one of the 50mm f1.8 lenses, bought for not very much secondhand/reconditioned and I like it – fast, sharp and great for short depth-of-field close-ups to landscape-y type wide shots.

I meant without Googling it, Pyro

That *was* without googling. Lupercalia’s the most fun, unlike it’s semi-Christian* equivalent. And not named after the patron saint of epileptic beekeepers…

*semi-Christian, semi-Hallmark…

Oh, and in answer to the “how many other pagan festivals” question, a few. Eostre, Beltane, Samhain, Lupercalia, both the solstices…

I celebrate the festival of Sol Invictus, which pre-dates Christianity and utterly coincidentally seems to have been picked by the Christian church to also be the day some fella was born in a barn.

There was a young lass from Greenodd
Who thought all good things came from god
But it wun’t the almighty
That lifted her nightie
It was Roger the lodger, the sod.

There once was a vicar from Ings*
Who dreamt of heavenly things
But his idea of heaven
Was a choirboy of seven
With an a** like a jelly on springs.

*Just outside Kendal

My own two feet, normally.

Question: can you be an atheist, but still believe in extraterrestial life that may be millions of years more evolved and intelligent than our own? (i.e. beings that are more “supreme” than humans?)

Yes. See Erich von Daniken for details.

Rusty, you missed my earlier post, perhaps. I’m an atheist. I just don’t see why anyone, theist or atheist, should be trying to force their personal beliefs on anyone else. I’ve seen a couple of very theistic friends go through some very bad times, and their faith has been what kept them sane throughout. There have been times when I’ve envied them that level of belief, because put in the same scenario, I’ve got nothing. It’s not enough to make me believe, but it’s enough to make me think.

Religion and faith are two different things, and it’s often not either that causes issues in the world, it’s the misguided manipulation of the latter.

Mcboo “militant” may be the wrong term, but I think you know what I mean. I dislike the smugness of Dawkins “I’ll believe in your god if you can prove he exists”. Faith is a personal thing, why should someone be called to account for something entirely personal to them?

I get just as annoyed with militant atheists like Dawkins as I do with militant Christians. I don’t know how I’d classify myself, really. I know God exists, but only in other people’s heads.

Because we’re always being told how we should believe in everyone else’s imaginary friend.

Religion is like a penis: it’s fine for you to have one, it’s fine for you to be proud of it. But please stop waving it around in public and trying to ram it down my throat. ;)

Might head out up above Otley tonight, sneaky bivvy to get an early start/sunrise pics before shooting a paddling event.

They generally do. Elephants, that is. Only if you scare ’em, though.

Not so much for biking, but psyching up for big river stuff it was always Bodies by Drowning Pool. The irony of that did not escape me.

Biking it’s quite often Apocalyptica (Path vol. II or Nothing Else Matters) or Afro-Celt Sound System (North or Release)

What’s yellow and dangerous?
Shark infested custard.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.

How do you get an elephant down out of a cherry tree?
Stand it on a leaf and wait for Autumn.

How can you tell if there’s an elephant under your bed?
You nose touches the ceiling.

How can you tell if there’s an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.

How do you get two elephants in a Mini?
One in the front, one in the back.

(How do you get two whales in a Mini?
Down the M6 to Liverpool and turn right.)

How do you know when two elephants are coming to your house?
A Mini stops outside and two elephants get out.

Why was the mushroom so popular at parties?
Because he was a fungi.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

Why did the sheep cross the road?
It was following the chicken

Old mate owns one – 20mpg if you drive conservatively…

Cypriot Zivania was pretty bad, Hamburg docks Aqvavit got ejected fairly swiftly, as does most Sambuca, but not much compares to the cocktail of cheapo Baileys-a-like, Buckfast Tonic and genuine Czech Absinthe I once imbibed, back in my less responsible youth.

The other half would probably tell you her worst was the night I made her a nice hot mug of Bovril. Some veggies have no sense of humour.

Have a look at the “=CELL()” function. Should be able to do what you want with that.

I like how he doesn’t class the intercourse in with giving her satisfaction. I’m assuming that 5mins was where she just lay there hoping he’d get his rocks off and fall asleep soon…

Living in Hamburg a few years back, I cycled to the station on a clapped-out old BSO, locking it up with a fairly useless combination chain lock. Came back that night to find the lock gone but the BSO sil very much there. Very strange…

That is, in a single word, gopping.

There were the Ashton trials frames, one of those maybe?

Takes a very long time, a helmet full of rocks and a roll of gaffer tape. Very little physical effort apart from restraining the pillock who dislocated their shoulder. Basically, slow application of traction. As I say, I wouldn’t particularly want to do it, and I’d rather leave it to someone more qualified, but should push come to “alright you idiot, lie here and hold on while I tape this to your bad arm”, i’d do it if I absolutely had to.

Crikey – Agree with you completely on that! We’d done it in training for a multi-day remote kayaking trip abroad, where not only was there no closer medical support, there was naff-all chance of medical extraction. Shoulder dislocation is quite common in kayaking, so it was an assumed risk. Still wouldn’t fancy doing it for real, though!

(And no, I don’t think I could recognise most of those things explicitly. Mostly it’s the basic principles of first aid – keep ’em breathing, stop ’em bleeding and if it’s serious enough to warrant it, get the big taxi with the blue lights on)

Litigation though, Crikey, only applies if you attempt something for which you have not been trained . The “Good Samaritan” law (can’t remember the proper name) upholds that – so if I bandage a serious head wound (however badly!) And the person subsequently bleeds to death, i’d feel bad but could not be sued because it’s in my training. If I attempt an emergency tracheotomy because I saw it on the telly once, I’d be off down the proverbial in my barbed wire kayak.

SBZ – “those with the skills on a professional level”. I work as an event first aider for a commercial company, and tend to end up being on/helping teach four or five courses a year. Which category do you put me in?

It’s an “each to their own” situation, really. I’ve had a bunch of trips whet I’ve needed nowt, then two weeks ago I ended up steri-stripping a cut to someone’s forehead at the get in of a river trip when they got whacked in the bonce with a paddle while warming up. Not a major emergency, but head injuries bleed like a git and it was freaking her out. Couple of strips, ambulance dressing and Buff over it, helmet on and off we go. Like someone else said, the calming effect of someone having kit and the knowledge to use it can be pretty effective.

Oh, and no, I wouldn’t fancy relocating a shoulder. We don’t even relocate fingers. That way madness (and possibly litigation) lies. Have had training to do it on seriously remote expeditions, but bloody hope I never have to…

AMV – I would say they are the least thing. While you can use them for other bits, there’s nothing you can do with them that can’t be improv’d with something else, when used as a sling they’re ridiculously uncomfortable, and the newer lightweight paper-type ones that are in so many pre-packed kits are utterly useless in anthing other than a dry windless environment.

Oh, and tampons and sanitary towels are sterile…

She F’ing Hates Me – Puddle of Mudd

M_F – Yours is an interesting case, and a definite screw-up by U&R. I have the opposite experience with another shop which transformed my running for the better (as we’ve noted before).

What I’d say is not to take one numpty’s ****-up as indicative of the whole industry. I’ve seen U&R’s gait analyses in progress and I wouldn’t trust them either – despite being good friends with two of their shop managers. I go to an independent shop (Accelerate in Sheffield) where, again, I know the owner and know his qualifications run quite a way beyond an in-house course. I trust his advice but also know that, ultimately, the decision is my own. If I think a sales assistant is trying to pull a fast one, they aren’t getting my money. Having tried out 12 pairs of shoes on my last trip (to buy a set of trail shoes to run an Ultra in), I’m pretty sure a fast buck isn’t what Stu from Accelerate was thinking of.

Also for the record – don’t bother with triangular bandages, they’re pointless. There’s nothing you can do with one that you can’t do, usually more comfortably, with another more versatile bit of kit.

For general biking kit, you don’t need a lot. I’ve done a bunch of specific outdoors-tailored REC first aid courses and they always spec a pretty minimalist kit and some nifty improv. Stuff that you wouldn’t think of as first aid gear, like sanitary towels and tampons, work best, but near in mind you need to get pursue on it as well, so bandaging is a good thing to learn properly. Gaffer tape’s an essential as well. Clotting packs aren’t recommended due to allergy and “stuffing things into open wounds in a non-sterile environment” issues. I still carry one, mind.

Re Splints, particularly leg splints: last course I did, related to mountain first aid, we were told that it’s not covered in detail any more. If you’ve got a casualty with sufficient damage to need immobilisation and extraction then: 1) so many people splinted badly and caused more damage (particularly going on the old advice of “move to an anatomically correct position”), and 2) first thing the MRT will do is cut off what you’ve done and vac-splint. Best thing to do is to keep the casualty comfortable, whatever position the limb’s in, pack around them to immobilise and then just wait.

Yup, as others have said, tone it down. If problems continue, get your shoes checked.