I've got Ti with a diamond inlaid from here[/url] and I love it. I'm not the most bling of people but I really feel happy every time I look at it.

I was tempted by tungsten, but you can't cut it and so in the event of it being my finger or the ring e.g a crash or burn situation then it's bye bye pinky.

32, no surprise, my primary teacher packed me off to a psychologist, Senior school sent me to a councillor as did uni.

I'm a V good case builder for the Police now though.

I too echo her thoughts, fundamentally most burglars just want your DVD and telly with no fuss. If you're asleep upstairs they'll sneak in grab it and get out. If you sleep downstairs and they comes through your bedroom (accidently or whatever) there is that extra frisson of fear that you could be confronted or find yourslef in a violent situation.

Although that said statistically you're more likely to get done over whilst you're at work during the day, that way they can ransack upstairs and down – anyone thinking of rushing home for lunch now?

A liberal dosing of ecover or similar non bio liquid wash and then drying outside works for me and I use cheappy tops from budget outdoors shops etc.

I think the key is not letting them fester.

click fit flooring

I DJd a wedding as afavour to a friend a few years ago, I'd just got off from a tour as the warmup/tour DJ for an at the time big band so I just brought along the stuff I'd been touring with.

It was **** ace to see Grandad busting a move to the Libertines and a bloke getting a public scolding for throwing Townsend windmills to won't get fooled again.

I also managed to play the theme to Sickness and in Health and close with I could be so good for you (theme from Minder).

Come to think of it, it's been a few years but the email's in the profile if you fancy similar.

The one about the car being on fire and teh penguins have all got umbrellas?

Bingo!

I know this will sound the lamest thing ever but I am actually having to train myslef to drink and working on building up a certain capacity all over again.

If you rarely drink then even a couple of pints is going to hit you hard, if you have a drink at home after work or infront of the telly on a regular basis then you will build up a better imunity.

So you can blame Practical Matt when the wife comes home and you're slumpt in the armchair surrounded by tins.

Other point is- think about what you drink, stinky p155 water lager will make you feel far worse than good real ale as ale has more natural ingredients.

Have you just started to approach middle age perhaps?

Aged 23 I was able to drink pints of spirits whilst DJing all nighters

Aged 33 I spend my evenings at home going to bed by 10:00 and have to calculate in the loss of the next day due to physical agony when accepting the invitation of going for even a little drink, especially if it's gassy lager-pop.

I totally understand mate,
my wife says she likes it when I go out as she gets a day to catch up on reading and some time to herself.
yet she books up every bloody weekend with stuff to do and simply overrides me if I've got bike plans
"oh your mother's here, how lovely"

My solution has been to book days off in the week or rack up flexi time (a luxery not everyone has, I know) and then dissapear off all day on Friday or take a half day and set out from work.

check out this thread for a sample of my family life. It's not an easy one, but with perseverance and a bit of give and take you might win through.

revs1972 You are Jim Davidson and I claim my five pounds.

Shoe Bombers try dressing as a clown to increase your payload.

NOTTINGHAM DRIVERS try looking up the phrases "box junction" and "Give way to oncoming traffic" in the highway code before setting off on your commute.

You can fix your wardrobe with some brass plates, dowel and araldite.

I've moved house every two years my entire life, best bit of advice I have is detach yourself from the uncncious "I can't pack that I'll need it" nags and make a bag/box up of essentials in the style of camping out so that you have everything to support yourself for three days without getting stressed about which box it was in etc.

When you get to the new house, first thing to do is make up your bed- then you have somewhere to flop down in at the end of a very stressful day.

Fool your neighbours into thinking you've gone on a luxery holiday by dumping your car in the canal and crawling around below the window with the lights off for two weeks.

Smoke alarm owners, why not live dangerously for a change?

on the one hand you have the family responsiblity (maybe) and on the other there is the never ending money pit that is your passion for biking

The most true-est thing I have ever heard on this forum.

Why didn't I get a sensible idiot prrof hardtail with fit and forget Marzochis instead of a fox equiped bearing filled FS that constantly needs attention.

Have just maxed out my credit card to the tune of £1500 at B&Q so I can fix all the things that need doing on my house and cut out the labour costs. House looks like a builders yard and no time to ride due to jobs that need doing and neigbours putting 'polite' notes through my door about getting a new fence as mine looks like a string vest.

No idea how I'll manage if I get any other big expenses on the horizon. I haven't had any dispoasble income since I got married. Have kind of got used to it, found a quid in the street the other day and actually felt like dancing as I bought myself a mars bar.

I like it because being a married bloke drifting into middle age I don't really have many friends, just people I know through something in common and other couples that my wife and I see semi-regularly.

This forum makes me feel like I've got a room full of mates that at least share a little bit of my outlook on life and therefore are able to offer help and advice that I rarley have time to sit down and get in the'real world' where I buzz around like a blue 4rsed fly trying to earn a living and keep my hosuehold ticking over.

I get the fear when I don't totally trust my bike or a new component on it.

For example I know where the cornering threshold is on my current treads, but if I use a new different pair then it takes me a while to really throw myself into using the bike as I don't know what point it will wash out etc.

Well I'm not really the most qualiified person to Comment here am I?
But unless it really matters just nod and smile and then get on with your own damn life.
On the other hand if it starts to negativly impinge on you to the point of tears of frustration in the shower and a general feeling of bleak emptyness and a loss of self identity (to take an example entirley at random)
Then neck a bottle of wine at freinds B'day and then let it all out when you get home but just use the names of people at the party to describe your own situation implying it's their story and see how long it takes for her to figure out it was your life you were describing.

I bought five Wilikinsons 79p rubber coated tool hooks and stuck them in the wall, I can hang a bike from each by the front wheel, Job done.

I've also added strips of batening further donw the wall to slot the rear wheel into, but this was not a necesity.

What a big garage you have! 😯
Receptionist too – I just have a doorbell extension.

Rode into the middle of an all male cluster bum (I guess that's what you'd call it I'm not up on the terms) and they all ran off in different directions.

Rode past an equestrain bassed porno shoot- lady in heels and not much else holding a horse by the reigns and posing for her snapping accomplice, She even appologised for putting me off my ahem 'stroke' if you will as I slipped in the mud trying to pedal past.

You're not far wrong, I got a comendation for devising theNotts Police Cycle Theft Rduction strategy and this was then used by TFL to base their new strategy on.

One of the biggest issues is stealing to order not for MTBers like thee and me but drug couriers in inner cities who want a nice bike as a status symbol- they don't know anyhing about it, but just want a bike with shiny bits and a price tag they can brag about.

There is alos a pervading myth regarding a van going bewteen Oxford and Cambridge bagging bikes form one and selling them in the other town.

There is a less dubious myth about scrap metal- steel framed ATBs etc being stripped and put in shipping containers and sent to china.

pjb, yeah I do whichi s why I bit my lip and vented online, it was a very sweet gesture, but ultimatley an unwelcome busman's holiday.

I give up all my riding time to do woodwork so she gets me the chance to do more with the only time I thought I could garuntee I could spend on my bike. She's no bike widdow- the last time I found time to ride was February and that was during the day using my Flexitime.

I was just stunned at a years worth of hints tips and outright asking went unheeded.

get the feeling that he is more disappointed that his wife doesn't understand him as well as he would hope.

Got it in one, it's one part infuriating to one part upsetting.

She can second guess why I'm grining at a comment on TV from knowing my chain of thought so well and can suss out what I'm likely to do next when we're messing about. But can't take a hint for my Bday.

That and the most punching the air truly euforic emotions I feel are when I clear a massive drop off or just nail a perfect line on some single track is almost my dirty secret.

My bike will always be that funny heap of tubes in the cellar to her- no different from a model railway or a bonsai tree, but it's what makes me happy and all I want to do is be happy and share that happiness with her.

PJ- my guess is that they just followed her lead- she says "he really wants this" they just follow for an easy life.

A policy which I have adheered to for many years on the understanding I get to go out on my bike sporadically.

Convert- ah, the voice of experience. From your previous posts can I come on a course with you instead?
I posted someplace back- yes I trained as a carpenter and joiner as I felt it was important to have a trade skill in life, but make my £s working for the Police. I fill my spare time doing carpentry jobs for free for needy causes and mates. Did I mention I also volunteer with the scouts teaching woodcraft?

In principle I can see her thinking, it's just a years worth of hints, plain old asking and spoonfeeding via links to webpages was hoped to have done the job.

Donk – that is genius, pure genius!

I am hugging my monitor in gratitude.

if she's so into suprises, how do you know what it was going to be?

Because it is/was next weekend so I was told to keep it free.

I reserve my B'day to be the one day where I revert to being a child, I organised a BBQ last year and my mates got me loads of stuff from the pound shop and we ended up shooting foam darts at each other in my garden wering dinosaur masks whilst getting hammered.

Back to work next day, suit and tie go on, 364 subsequent days of maintaining a dignified mask and never talking about my private life.

Surely I'm allowed one day a year?

Well she's still talking to me so I think we're fine.
Of course she has no idea about this forum thread.

As for a smaller mortgage- yes it is something that I would have liked. But a two bed semi is hardly Buckingham place I just paid the going rate for houses in my area.

Basically we get on like a house on fire and spend pretty much every minute together doing stuff- we've been to the North pole together, we've hitch hiked to Morroco and I think she's amazing. She just has this bizare approach to present buying- her Dad and I bonded over it the first time we met. He'd asked for some DIY equipment so they got him an hour driving a 4X4 (he drives a van for the council).

The argument (on her part) seems to be if she can't find it exciting or interetsting she doesn't understand why anyone else would want it and if you ask for it- you wont get it as it wont be surprise.

I for my part just don't want her wasting her money which she works hard for on a woefully missjudged presnet which makes neither of us happy. I said to her I'd rather she just came out with me on her bike and we sat at the top of a hil and watched the scenery and she shared with me something that makes me truly happy for free.

And yes, I am a magnet for sh1t presents- I could fill a book with the well intentioned howlers of my parents. Just occasionally (like this) I it all gets to me and I just want something that makes me happy as I spend my whole time making other people happy and giving up my time to work for free for friends and family etc.

Anyway I'm sounding like Arther Fowler when he had his breakdown now so I'll shut up and say thanks everyone, feel free to keep this thread going for hilarity value but I think I've got it sorted.

Oh just for clarity value- I trained as chippie as a trade, but pay the mortgage being a Police Fraud Examiner- this should clarify a few contradicting threads out there.

Well I was reduced to tears of hilarity from some of your responses and thought I'd best just admit to why I was sitting on the sofa guffawing and asked-
"Are we really going to make a willow chair or is it an elabourate cover?"

Turns out it is/was true, but I thought I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb and just came out with the words.

Please,please don't make me do this.

Turns out the deposit was due in tomorrow so she has cancelled just in time.

I agree it could have been fun, but not on the one day of the year when you are entitled to put yourself first, I've spent the last two months doing DIY round the house every weekend. If she wants to do it for her B'day then fine I'll happily go and weave yoghurt wearing a hat made of porridge in the woods. But on my special day – no way.

It's not like I don't love her, but for once she has just got this so wrong, bit like the time my mum saved money at Christams and made my Action man some clothes instead of buying them- Action Man off duty male nurse anyone?

As to getting the bike parts I need, let's not push it tonight.

Looks like shes getting a willow chair for her birthday then

Genius!
😈

It's not like I don't like making things- I am "Practical Matt", that's kind of my point. I can make something in my own time anytime – and I frequently do. Odds are I could lead the class not take part in it.

I can't magic up a Fox forks service kit and a middle ring with teeth on it though. Not to mention the bearings that have all been dutifully cleaned and oiled for three years now but are really due a change.

Am I living in a sitcom? – woodland crafts! FFS

It's not funny!

OK well maybe it would be if it was someone else.

Come on guys, send me a fake invite to Buckingham Place, Kidnap me ANYTHING!

OOooh, that looks nice. 8)

Thesehave done me well for over four years, apart from a broken plastic ring for the bungees to hook onto, which I replced with a metal ring from a keyring. fundamentaly any broken bits can be replced for pennies by a trip to a camping shop.
Likewise you can buy multipacks of tough waterproof compresion bags or rucksack liners for less than a fiver from an outdoor shop if you're too proud to use a bag for life or an old compost bag to go inside. However I've never bothered and have ridden in some atrocious weather with dry kit.
Liddle did some nice panniers not so long ago too.

That's nothing, I have just narrowly avoided having to ask scroats I've nicked a series of customer satisfaction Qs in relation to their treatment and their perceptions of the city!

" So Mr Pickpocket, what would make you want to visit the city centre more?"

You couldn't make it up!

😆

A friend of a friend studied Forensic Science at uni. She then went on to join the Garda. After a couple of years of basic training/probation, she is now a fully qualified CSI or whatever it's called in her job. Without formal education, she would not be able to pursue her career in the way she wants, as she would not be equipped sufficiently. Yes, you need some lumps to kick doorrs in, but you also need people with intelligence and finely honed skills. Some of those skills can be learned in an academic setting, others from pounding the beat. All are valuable. Raising all standards for entry would, surely, make for a more efficient and effective police force.

Fair point
A lot of jobs requiring a higher level of education are being civilianised these days though. Not sure if that's good or bad- do you really need powers of arrest to analise evidence in an office or lab?

Likewise will an excessivly qualified mind be at home with the strict chain of command in some forces?

Discus,
5000 words, on my desk by Monday, have a good weekend students.

(Mr) MC +1

My gaffer's got a degree in Zoology and fifteen years of experince in some of the 'juicier' areas of the city- I know what is the most useful to him.

I've got a degree in social history, OU diploma in criminology, OU diploma in urban planning, various qualifications based around terror12m and the built enviroment along with a recently acquired accreditation as a fraud examiner and forensic accountant.
Its the ten years I spent working in nightclubs and in retail that has taught me the most though.
The rest just means I can knock out the odd essay or strategy document when needed.

On the other hand it does astound me how some meat-heads make it through- you're always going to need people to batter down the doors though. 😉

to target what/who I wanted, had some wicked jobs with brilliant results.

Oh yes