Well they said it was Sam Fox, but it could have been any 32 by 64 collection of black and white pixels!

I find it's not true that this generation know about computers – they know about Halo and Facebook and that's it. Wheras when I was his age I was adding RAM chips to my Spectrum, programming, etc, kids seem to have no clue that you can program computers these days.

another thing they seem to know is how to watch hard core porn on their mobiles when they are 14. I'm not convinced it's a good thing.

However, I have no problem with a national DNA database, I mean after all we've had fingerprints taken for over a century, and I don't recall any misuse of that data

is there a national database of fingerprints?

I took safari off my son's iPod touch and told him I would put it back when he told his mum why I'd removed it.

So far he hasn't told her…

Bit of a difference between what you can find on a 14 yr old's iPod these days and a tattered old copy of penthouse or something.

Is it too soon to tell him that the BA strike is back on after the union won their appeal?

In my experience a lot of managers "work hard" by putting in long hours of seagull style (flies in, sh1ts everywhere, flies off) interference with their minions, pointless meetings, and other sundry interruptions, therefore causing the people that do the work to get nothing done all day.

Ernie, about to talk to a misguided member of the public with 'incorrect priorities'…

Remember citizens:

Help the Ministry of Information Help You.
Be Safe: Be Suspcious.
Suspicion Breeds Confidence.
Trust in Haste, Regret at Leisure.
Don’t Suspect a Friend, Report Him.

Scrapping ID cards has spared me the trouble of becoming a criminal, because I had no intention of getting one

Likewise.

Most stste schoolds dont do a lot of latin or classics either.

Well they used to…

Yes, after all Labour would never induce a debt fuelled consumer led boom and bust whilst presiding over the demise of industry and putting all the eggs in the city of London basket and wasting North Sea gas on electricity production. Nope.

I don't personally think having a mystic read out incantations or a minor local government officer witness an unenforcable contract adds a lot to my relationship

Maybe not, but it will affect your bank balance and future wellbeing when you split up.

But then I'm not a hopeless romantic! ;-)

Ermm.. surely interest rates were so low that they can only go up – it's a one way bet.

Oh and like Daleks in the 70s, they can't yet do stairs.

I've got a Roomba, as above you do have to do a tidy , take out thin rugs, etc. and in the dining room put the chairs up on the table (it will go round them, just take longer). And yes you have to empty out it's little dustbin regularly, but at least that shows it's working. And pull fluff from the brush if you have a fluffy carpet.

On the other hand, call me lazy, but I find this way less tedious than actually doing the vacuuming (and anyway you have to pick stuff up of the floor for that too). It's good fun watching the little fella scoot about the place! I've always liked watching other people work.

In summary, it's like having a dishwasher instead of doing the washing up – yes you still have to load / unload, but it's definitely less work overall.

And besides – it's a robot! Doing the vacuuming! Like it's the 21st century or something!

"How many can be built before all the wind is used up?" ?

If the wind all runs out, they just run them in reverse so they suck instead of blow.

I mentioned her first.

That's 'cos you lurrrve her.

TJ pressed the "Thatcher's fault" button!

Who had that post number in the sweep?

Just look at Zimbabwe, a whole country full of billionaires.

Well there's a difference between 5% and an estimated 50 million % to be fair.

not sure we want more inflationary pressures now

Actually, a spot of inflation can work wonders if you have a large debt you can't afford to pay off. 10 years of 5% inflation and suddenly it doesn't look so scary.

I believe that we have to call printing money "quantitative easing" nowadays.

I couldn't help noticing that none of the three main parties, Labour included, took the opportunity to say they wouldn't raise VAT when given the opportunity during the election.

Are we really going to have 5 years of Labour complaining about all the things that they would have had to have done anyway if they'd won the election?

Oh, of course. Silly me of to expect anything different.

There comes a stage in every child's life where they realise that teachers know absolutely bugger all…

Pulling up with one foot whilst pushing down with the other creates exerts a torque on the cranks, but also an equal and opposite one on your body. You need to balance this out to stop you rotating backwards off the bike. You can do this by pulling on the handlebars (or by pushing

My legs bend in the middle. And also where they meet the rest of me. And at the ankle come to think of it.

Why on earth would you want to live in London and commute to Maidenhead!
Worse of both worlds!

I used to live in Manchester and commute out into Cheshire… seems by far the most sensible way round to me.

Hmm, doesn't sound promising. Why don't they have the jobs where people live?

I suppose commuting out of west London might be do-able… though probably not very fiscally sound.

Do they not have legs that bend in the middle over there? Or is just their heads that are solid?

Can you not find out your usage through your ISP web portal?

I can do plenty of browsing, email, and my son does a fair amount of online gaming, and it comes to about 8GB per month. Downloading movies or even using iPlayer pushes that up quite quickly (up to 2 GB per movie). My ISP doesn't count bandwidth between midnight and 8am to my total, so I schedule any big downloads for after midnight.

New Labour started off being about exerting centralised control over the Labour Party, then once in power it became about exerting centralised control over the rest of us. And because they believed that everything they did was for our own good, tiny little things like civil liberties weren't seen as important.

Hopefully they'll have a good long look at themselves in opposition.

+1 for Keeley Donovan – she sometimes reads the local new as well.

There's something about the slightly concerned but optimistic expression she has when she tells you about bad weather – like you have a kitten that's slightly unwell, but probably going to be fine, so you mustn't worry. Ah, bless.

Kate Bush was rubbish

I beg to differ

Hathersage, Bamford or somewhere else in the Peak District with a station on the rail line between Sheffield and Manchester (i.e., not Glossop which is a dead end rail wise as well as being a traffic nightmare and a dump that should really be knocked down and replaced with a nice bit of dual carriageway – IMHO).

Or Manchester or Sheffield! (You may consider outlying areas with stations like Dore on the Sheffield side or New MIlls / Disleyland on the Mcr side).

Good mountain biking prospects in all these places (except central Manchester obviously)

So how much does the average Cabinet Minister earn?

http://www.number10.gov.uk/news/latest-news/2010/05/a-new-politics-cutting-ministerial-pay-50065

donald et al – this is a pay cut for cabinet minister salaries, not MP salaries. Not the same thing at all.

Grockle is the Devon term

My mate from the Isle of Wight always used to call tourists / mainlanders grockles.

Nesh

As in "it's not that cold, don't be nesh".

Although could also be used as in "Francis Jeffers neshed out of yet another tackle the useless overpaid waste of space"

AFAIK only heard around south Yorks / north midlands

Oh and it's "gennel" here (pronounced jennel), not ginnal which is west yorks

Faraday cages around all pubs, that would be a step forward.

What I find most useful about smartphones etc. is that you can't buy a decent PDA any more, so you need a phone that does all that stuff. Or an ipod touch, which seems the only other alternative now.

But then, some people can remember what they are doing so might not need to have all their diary / contacts / notes in one place…

Anyway, iPad – I reckon your gran needs one to be able to email the grandkids without having to know the first thing about computers.

I hear Basel is pretty popular.

Can't think why, I've been there, it seemed like a bit of a dump to me.

Have a try over on http://www.vwaudiforum.co.uk/, there seem to be some knowledgable folk there.

Oddly, I was just on a job site and there was a banner add for MI5, they're wanting 'digital intelligence specialists'. I suppose if you got the job and found out how much snooping on us all they do, you wouldn't be able to tell anyone…