a tonguestun one :)

riding ****
Han ****
guitar ****

well personally i hate every single one of you, especially cougar.

never trust a man with a beard

(unless he’s a dad, because if your dad doesn’t have a beard.. you’ve got two mums)

probably cheaper to get a new one off ebay!

oh and the dogs trust want you to use the term ‘indoor kennel’ because cage/crate/box-of-shame all have negative connotations to people who dont know what they’re talking about :D

can you buy me a house? i’ll send you *those photos*….

footflaps i dont blame you (i do)

jamie – darcy wouldn’t buy me a house, not after i posted *those* photos to his wife

camo –

par example:

lets say, 30k wage and a 17k wage coming into the house for simplicity of maths and its less typing.

individual mortgage with say, co-op: 4.25X 30k = 127,250moneyz based on the 30k main income above.

joint mortgage at an average 3.5:1 ratio using figures above – 3.5X30k + 20k = 122,000moneyz

its only 5k in it, but thats 5 goddamn k’z

lol i genuinely think mrsconsequence wouldn’t mind not being on the deeds if we got loaned more! especially seeing as the whole marriage thing means she’d get half of it/all of it if i die/get caught cottaging.

the mrs is earning, but she made the mistake of chosing a job that helps people for the government so its fixed term contracts and not exactly well paid.

so footflaps (yes, solely footflaps) is the reason why people like me can’t get a house…

“you”

flash a bit of leg and wink

“and finally, what would you say your wea..”

“busty babes and answering questions too quickly”

They should just freeze the universe and be done with it… the slightest molecular movement has the potential to overthrow everything we hold dear.

sounds like you’re planning some kind of worldwide attack involving chemicals, molecules and global water supplies…. careful now…. because:

good point… whole bike it is :)

cheers guys

good point, does seem to be quite a specific little bike!

i cant be bothered with taking it apart either so thats handy.

turn up with popcorn and clap at inappropriate moments, scream “ohhh girl dont go there” when the dude in the dress goes to drown the baby and wander in just after its started, walk across the front of everyone and ask ‘have i missed the adverts?’

turn up with hora and get his kids to pick a fight?

turn up with a rescue staffy wearing a bowtie and paedo glasses…. we all know they go for kids faces, you wont be welcome

fake stigmata?

pretend to be possessed… ‘dogs and cats living together, EPA, EPA!’

or simply just pretend you went to the wrong church

bomb threat?

turn up dressed as a priest…

“well isn’t this awkward

this one, this expression

‘i’ve been banned from every church in england after “the incident”…’?

punch yourself in the nose for a nosebleed?

sudden attack of tourettes?

my kids are going to be called ‘liferuiner’ and ‘unwantedsurprise’

or Dave and Davette

a couple of support workers who work for me sometimes are called, they’re brothers by the way, wait for it…. Clinton and Linton :D

dont forget to take your mobile phone out of your pocket and put it somewhere safe before commencing said epicwaterbattle

i prefer to judge people based on where they’re from geographically and if possible the colour of their skin, much more telling than just a name… after all, think of ‘carl’…. standard, white chap, prob mid 30’s working in IT yeah? NO… Black guy from the simpsons who works with nuclear power.

be careful out their folks x

I dreamed that I got Mrs Grips to like 85% dark chocolate. Even less likely.

either this is parents code for some kinda interracial sex game, or life as a parent has sucked the fun out of you. you should be dreaming about boobies.

i was dreaming somebody stole my baby elephants and was poisoning them with sports drinks!

(not really, i was probably dreaming about boobies)

how old is she?

+1 lessons

breathing practices are good, developing control of the diaphragm is important…. im pretty sure a google of ‘breathing exercises for singing’ or something similar will throw up some online tutorials, youtube etc.

boiling the kettle first usually means an easy win :D

mrs toast :) i’ve sent you a direct message on twitter.

apologies for the thread hijack, back to your STW business x

well put it this way…. i definitely dont remember steve boo-shemmy in 127 hours

*AHEM*

you’re all forgetting

if you want the non-animal cruelty but all animal-awesome version… simply draw eyebrows on your dog:

cat AIDS.

dont laugh lynn you could break your neck!

but it will be just a 90minute episode of Alan Partridge you pay to go and see at the cinema

agreed…. but to be honest, being one of the very few shows that makes me laugh out loud and never gets boring… i dont mind paying to see it :)

and +1 on the audio book being excellent. better for being read out in character!

lynn these are sex people!

can’t wait

SHUT IT DARCY! just cos you got a british bulldog standing in front of a knight waving the st georges cross as his horse tramples on the infidels as a backpiece doesn’t mean you’re cool. get over it you clipart wearing, tattoo regretting drunken lout x

nice piece for a first tattoo dude :)

well documented tattoo hater who has to chime in on every tattoo thread – Member

The blah blah blah blah

Erm, fixed it for you?

pretty sure the OP has had a life event he wanted to symbolise in his tattoo. you do make me chuckle shibby

if you can find me any examples of people with the same tattoos as i’ve got i’ll pay for your first tattoo so you can get over your hatred and fear of people who make different choices to you. they dont hurt that much so there’s no need to be scared :) x

depends on the conditions of the clay ground as far as i know, as somebody signing in a guest you’re completely responsible for the guest and their shooting/safety/adherence to club rules etc etc. some clubs can allows non-licensed guests but can’t sell ammo to them.

getting a shotgun cert isn’t too tricky, there’s been advice on this forum about it before, but for up-to-date advice on the process, timescale and what you’d need check the BASC website :)

i got mine in 4 weeks from the date i posted the application off, some counties take a lot longer, but all are under pressure to speed things up.

if your local clay clubs are anything like the ones around here, people are generally pretty enthusiastic about getting new people involved in the sport and will lend you their gun to shoot if you’re a guest. i’ve been shooting clays since February and must’ve shot about 8 different guns from people encouraging me to give theirs a try :)

example costs:

gun: £50
shotgun cert: £50
Local clay club membership so i dont have to pay guest prices each time:£35
50 ‘bird’ shoot every other sunday: £10 (instead of £15 as a guest)
cartridges: £10-12 for 50 cartridges for you 50 clays
basc membership inc insurance £66
cabinet – if you make friends with somebody who already shoots then they might be kind enough to offer to store the gun for you on their certificate… most gun shops can store a gun for you for a pretty cheap weekly cost!

my gun is a cheap baikal and as mentioned above, i could whack it into fence posts all day and not be bothered about any scratches.

like bikes you can spend thousands on the gun and then hundreds on the clothes to look the part, or you can buy a cheap gun and go in jeans, t-shirt, witha carrier bag for your cartridges.

find a local clay club ideally, introduce yourself, ask if anybody would mind taking you along as a guest and go from there :)

“12gauge Badger Cull” works well as a band name