Harry_the_Spider – Member

Am I right in thinking Dualit toasters don't even pop up when the toast is done, just ring a bell?

The Bastards.

the only thing to make me laugh out loud on the internet in months.

write "from all of us" in bleach over his allotment.

rip the rope out whilst glaring at him, breathing very heavily then hold it high above your head screaming "i will avenge you grandad!!"

arrest him for trespassing and damage of property

threaten to call the papers about a "council protects one of their own" story

MASSIVE fence

move the rope back then stand in his way, naked.

yes…. tomtom still send me emails offering me various earope maps all the bloody time!

i've considered the turbo-trainer idea and there isnt space for a whole bike where i intend to exercise unfortunately :(

i would've probably replied to a thread like this with the clothes hanger suggestion too but my thinking is for the price of less than a months gym membership i could pick up a dirty old exercise bike. (which was pretty much the only thing i'd bother on at the gym anyway)

i've joined all the local freecycle groups, keeping an eye on them too :D

epping forest….you mean EPIC forest!!!

nahh only joking, its rubbish, i can tell and i haven't even been there.

when i was 16 the thing to do was the London Trocadero, is the 16yr old male or female?

8O the devils food!!!

how come, even if you grind it into a paste, it still manages to put tiself back together again before it comes out the other end?! devils food i tells ya

draw smiley faces on every piece of fruit, veg and every flower in his allotment….. but not happy smileys… more of a:

:|

not all kids scream… have you not seen those nspcc adverts?? deadly quiet those kids are, parents must be doing something right? :roll:

on a serious note… i didnt scream as a kid, parents thought they were in luck til my sister came along. my neice is a super quiet baby too like i was, some kids are quiet, but i think they really are the odd ones out.

try blasting low frequency womb noises through the wall with a meaty subwoofer?

get their before he does, and just stand there staring in complete silence at him, do not talk, do not repsond to him, jsut keep moving the rope back and staring at him in complete silence until he gos home.

nothing more creepy than being stared at in complete silence by someone who you know you've p1ssed off!

(or use a solid fence installed in the night to the exact dimensions so no matter what.. he cant argue)

if anyone fancies sending me the iDave diet document i'd be really thankful!

i've been making an effort to "change my diet" rather than "go on a diet" that way after i've lost some weight i wont be going back to "normal eating" and put it back on again.. i can just carry on as i am.

my plan at present basically involves eating breakfast (first time for about 15 years) each morning, wiping out white bread and replacing it with healthy living cardboard-wholemeal type stuff, snacking on cucumber, baby tomatos and celery between meals, not eating after 6pm unless its a special occasion or a little bit of fuel on a ride. i'd say once a week i break the rules and share a curry or have a couple of slices of pizza with the other-half. the hardest thing is saying no to all the sweet stuff my housemate and other-half fill the house with!

i dont really drink alcohol.. maybe about 2 units a month on average over the year so havent had to change that.

riding has definately helped shift some weight, i'm hoping to pick up a cheap second hand exercise bike to use on the nights we cant get out on the mtb… even if its only 20 minutes it'll help boost the metabolism :)

i dont really eat much meat anymore, if i do then its chicken breast or a thin slice of ham (fat cut off) so hopefully i'm doing the right thing in general!

of course any hints and tips would be welcome :)

good luck everyone on their efforts!!

top tip #1 when you do get your ink elaine… dont drink alcohol before hand (avoid drinking the ngiht before) as it turns even the super-syrup-clotting-blooded people into bleeders…

top tip #2 make sure you eat before hand and take a bit of a sugary snack for afterwards as most people have a little sugar crash.

hope that helps, enjoy it!

top tip #3 use suntan lotion on it to stop it fading, plus it keeps any colours nice and vibrant

if you were smart iDave you'd get it painted on the side of a new estate car ;)

good luck for the daughters grades! (any anybody else waiting)

"i got a bit bored and seemed to have dismantled my corby trouser press"

maybe respond the the council saying : "i dont, but i am heavily invovled in the world of cycling, i own a few bikes and sometimes even help others, if you guys are happy for me to run a centre from my adress then i might consider it as a future option, however for now i do not… and do not plan to.

p.s i think you should be a little more worried about the underground basement next door… i've heard muffled screaming at night!"

b'mitch, dont worry, all his employees probably hate him :D

hehe this thread is fun :D

i'll suggest it again, can all people with tattoos get their IQ tatood on their forehead…?? that way anyone with a low IQ can accurately be described as "knuckle-dragging-dumbass"

and everyone else can promt a:

"well i never, that's a jolly surprise, there i was making assumptions about that fine fellow over there and it turns out he's only 2 points away from a mensa membership, i bet he's a thouroughly nice chap, lets invite him around to polish our ponies and bentlys together and celebrate our obvious success in life due to not having tattoos…. oh hang on he's got tattoos, lets not let him round, he might scare the labradoodles" response.

us pretty people can pull off tattoos, i suspect those without and those complaining about.. are all ugly and know deep down they'd just get looked down on with even more disgust :wink: :lol:

i know i wouldn't hire an ugly person, if their not sensible enough to be gorgeous then their not sensible enough to work for me.

i also can say for a fact that anyone without tattoos has obviously never done anything important enough or worthwile enough in their life to want to remember…

:lol:

its just skin, if you're honestly judgemental enough to make assumptions about someone because they've chosen to decorate theirs then chances are you suck and are a virgin

:D:D:D

again, cheers for the concern people, but i do regularly check my blood sugar and take as many preventative steps as i can to slow down the onset of diabetes…

sees his Dr or calls 999 if it happens again in the next few days,

… agreed, i cant look after other people if i'm not well myself.

denial can lead to some interesting situations. Not that I'm saying that such a blackout could be indicative of something else – like a former colleague who was 'always tired' and had a toe amputated due to his ignored diabetes

my dad went through the too tired phase, he was a textbook case of type2 diabetes, took a LOT to convince him to get checked out and he learnt his lesson…. hence me keeping an eye on the ol' blood sugar and trying this silly idea that a healthy diet and regular exercycling will help :)

i wish it had been some of you wandering past yesterday thats for sure!!

i think (cant be bothered to read back as lifes to short) that i stated i blacked out and it then took about 15 minutes to feel normal again, i have no idea how long i was actually blacked out for, jsut aware one second i was not on the ground, and the next i was trying to open my eyes and apparently on the ground.

i felt absolutely fine until that point, i felt fine as i got to the top of the hill, and it was only once i stopped that it all kicked in.

borderline diabetic is a good bet, all the men in my family are diabetic and i keep an eye on my blood sugar but at the moment with a healthy diet it not a worry…. however yesterday i had forgotten to eat like the numpty i am super awesome real man i am

tootall…. i'm a man, and as a man i reserve the right to pretend i'm fine until its too late, at which point i'll deflect any critisism for not getting checked out earlier by saying something manly and awesome ;)

pretty confident it was a blood-sugar thing at the moment, a sugar hit got me feeling right again and some flapjack 2 miles later meant i felt all good and rode for another 9 miles before getting home again. if i feel remotely dizzy or my vision does the same thing again then i'm off to a&e to check for brain-tumors.

cheers for the concern though :)

jon1973 – Member

…at work my right arm will be on show…in the summer then most of my right leg

you must struggle when shopping for clothes.

not really – t-shirts, shorts, normal summer wear IMO ? screw wearing trousers and a long-sleeve shirt in the summer!

Do you have whose leg is hairier competitions?

at first i thought she had joined this forum without telling me, but The Southern Yeti is apparently not her….

nothing wrong with someone growing their own ugg-boots ;)

neverfastenuff

Just one thing here tho'
If G/F had been off / ill – how long before you would have noticed?
at the pub?

if it wasnt for my blacking out then i would've noticed pretty quick, we only agree to go ahead of each other when we know where to meet, if she hadnt have caught up in a couple of minutes i would have turned around and gone to find her. she's a grown-up, we've done the same route quite a few times before so no worries of going the wrong way etc.

and i dont drink :)

the gf was a way back, we agreed to meet at the top of the hill and she took her time… i'm guessing she was involved in an orgy with all the other people that went past me, but hung back as not to look suspicious!

considered getting checked out, but the sensations and prgression from eyes blacking out etc was almost exactly the same as when i blacked out as a kid (again due to not eating and lots of exercise).. lesson learnt, remember to fuel up first and fall in a slightly more inconvenient place haha

yeah in the south, and i think there is probably an element of us southerners are a little less likely to approach a stranger :( sad but probably true…

wasnt trying to impress the girlfriend, i do that everytime i join her in the shower ;)

definately learnt the lesson on fueling up before hand, i normally ride after eating throughout the day, i just forgot to eat all morning and didnt enter my head until after we had left on the bikes.

apparently i looked dead due to the position i had fallen in and apart from my breathing i looked dead haha…

:) cool, just wanted to double-check there are some decent people out there!

i foolishly went for a ride yesterday and forgot to fuel up before hand, reached the top of a hill, felt ok, turned around to check where the lady was and my vision started to go, as my vision started to go my breathing went haywire and i couldnt get control of it.

i tore my helmet and gloves off whilst my vision got darker and by the time i got off the bike, my legs/head felt like someone was pumping fizzy air through them.

next thing i know i'm on the floor and i've blacked out. my vision was still gone and all i could apply my brain to was breathing and keeping my eyes shut.

took about 10 minutes to be able to open my eyes without going fizzy and 15 minutes for me to feel ok enough to try sitting up.

freaked me out a lot, but the thing that got me was about 3 families walked past and 4-6ish bikers rode past (1 family and 3 bikers before the girlfriend caught up, so i was alone and could only open my eyes for a couple of seconds at a time) and none of them stopped to ask if i was alright!

there's a small chance it might have looked as if i had decided to stop my ride for a lie-down in the nettles/dog-eggs and wanted to shut my eyes whilst sounding like i'm having an asthma attack…. but the moment the girlfriend caught up she made it clear i didnt look well haha.

:) hi elaine,

they're only hidden when i go to certain meetings, in my normal day at work my right arm will be on show, as will some of my chest, in the summer then most of my right leg will be on show whenever i can get away with shorts.

work is a small element of my life, but it pays the bills and there are certain times in my work where i'm the only one under 30 in a room full of important people… who would assume im a psychiatric patient if it wasnt for the fact i was was introduced as otherwise.

in that setting i'm already being judged for my age and presumed lack of experience, so its 50% giving them less ammo when i know i need everyone on my side with certain decisions, and the other 50% is if theyre all in suits then i'm kidna expected to be too.. just so happens that long sleeve shirt and trousers will cover pretty much all my ink :)

hope that helps explain it :)

better spine protection if you come off the bike than a camelback…. i'd say go for it ;)

considering those with tattoos share something in common with knuckle-draggers, the common and the poor who automatically have tattoo's…well your not in great company are you?

i'm pretty sure that you've got legs and arms and fingers.. that means you've got something in common with hitler… he was human too ;)

would it make you feel better if everyone who had a tattoo had to take an IQ test and have the result tattoo'd to their forehead so you could judge them even quicker?

(trolling to a a degree here) different strokes for different folks 'n all that, i have tattoos and i'm not fussed if i get judged to be honest… just as someone might be sitting there looking at me thinking "what a cretin, he's got his whole leg tatoo'd, i bet he's on benefits and doesnt work, probably a druggy too… i hate other people, i'm off to moan at the internet"… i'll probably be sitting their judging someone else completely unaware lol :)

the only people i know who regret their tattoos are people who got them for the wrong reason or just picked them off a wall.

if you have something completely custom designed, personal to you and something you feel is important enough to want to remember you're whole life then unless you get it in a "life-ruiner" place (hands, neck, face) then there should be no regrets…

as this thread shows there's a large side of society that wouldnt judge a person 'cos of their skin colour but seem quite happy to make assumptions about a person cos of the colours ON their skin and the result is this effects job prospects etc.

most tattoo'd people will save the hands/neck/face til last as they're all too aware of societies view on standing out… kids have started going straight for the hands and neck whilst still having lots of empty skin, this (in my humble opinion) is a bit silly and i'm in no way surprised that people will see this as attention seeking.

all my tattoos remind me of a time/place, who i was with, what was happening in my life, what i believe in and what lessons i've learnt.

all mine can be hidden by normal work clothing and often are as a lot of the meetings i go to are full of older people who are already judging me 'cos of my age, why give them more ammo to blindly assume i'm not as smart as they are?

cheers for the heads-up! well worth the trip to stock up on stuff for the other-half :)

if it helps then i *think* that cyclezone in crowthorne is open 'til 7pm most weeknights and they def sell the annual permits, tis where i got the other half's and mine :)

at first i was all very angry at the thought of paying to cycle in the woods, especially as dog walkers etc dont have to pay to enter the same woods….. but considering how well kept the trails are and it is private land…. 20 quid for a year is prety awesome! means we can ride there any time of the day and night, no having to plan beforehand and buy a day pass or queue up on busy days etc.

i've had 2 nasty spills at swinley, one has buggered my shoulder up and still get pain with certain movements.. but i wouldn't dream of sueing swinley! as much as i'd like to blame someone else or the condition of the ground etc etc…..rider error, simple as.

i like my deer to be rare… tastes better that way

sex, lots of sex

this one…………….

HTH

*clicks "like"*

if anyone knows where i can get a "i brake HARD for people who dont observe the 2 second rule" sign… let me know.

i want to buy one of those calculator watches that you can use to control the tv with……… my girlfriend/wifey said she couldnt be seen in public if i had one…. this makes me want one even more!

cheap rubber/plastic strap, lcd calculator type screen. perfect.

freecycle, charity shops etc etc

alternatively leave the place empty, hire it out as a party flat then go an live from one womans bed to the next