Give up drinking ( if you do )

I don’t

which will help you lose 5 stone

I don’t want to lose 5 stone – I was spectactularly skinny as a youth – Like a living, breathing skellington – Probably 3 stone underweight for my height. Losing 2 would make me “normal”

5 stone heavier!! Maybe time to get yourself exercised.

Yeah! Maybe I should take up cycling :P

don’t laugh / sneeze / cough / breathe too deeply. And don’t roll over in bed.

Done all of the above in the last twelve hours. No wish to do them again. Couldn’t get the handbrake off the car this morning without assistance :oops:

” How difficult can this be? It’s not rocket surgery!” WTF???

Any soft drink which contains the words “iron” or “brew” in the name.

There’s only one Irn Bru.