Sorry to read that multiple peeps on here are having a hard time of it, but sincerely well done just for saying so.
@Rockbus @bikerevivesheffield Not sure whether you’ve ever considered any talking therapy (AKA psychotherapy, counselling, CBT, etc) but it might help you get to the bottom of the patterns of thinking and behaviour in order to change them. You usually have to dig deep to enact fundamental change, which involves discussing it with a professional. Treat yourself to an hour or two per week in therapy and all the other hours could feel more manageable. Depending on your organisation, you may even be able to get support through work.
