Oh where to start.
First of all may I say I no longer drink, mainly due to frequency and magnitude of scrapes, here are a few for starters:
1. After a nights clubbing, going back to my parents house for a tent and deciding to steal a small rowing boat to go camping on a nearby island. We used a plank of wood and a cricket bat as oars and got about 1 hour out to sea when I needed a slash. I couldn’t go kneeling at the back of the boat so stood up, causing said boat to sink immediately. Shoes off and swam for over an hour to the ship yard dock gates which are large enough for an aircraft carrier. Couldn’t get out of the water, shouted for help and a security guard threw in a life hoop thing. RNLI turned up some time later an took us to a point where we could get out of the water, where we were met by police, security from ship yard and ambulances. Arrested and spent night in cells. Dad heard about it on the radio at work and it was headlines in local paper.
2. Rode bike naked through Le/The Pub in Chamonix and out into the street.
3. Chased a naked female around some gardens in Liverpool, only to go back the day after to try and find my keys and realise it was a convent and all the little statues we jumped over were of mary
4. Ragging a reliant robin around walney island when leathered and chasing after women
5. Making an impromptu speech at a graduate training exercise attended by all the bosses, which included the line “..and may I say how much I’d like to bum you all, [pointing to this real t**t at the back] especially YOU”
I could spend all afternoon doing this