Had quite a damaging upbringing from a parent who themselves had an upbringing far more damaging.
Got a girlfriend pregnant when I was 17 and found out it wasn’t mine when I was 20, I lost ‘my’ son and the woman I thought loved me in an instant and my life turn to siht, I ended up with nothing living in a tiny flat in a rough area and unemployed.
My depression was that bad a times I actually felt physical pain, I hated myself, I hated everybody.
Didn’t seek help, I just withdrew into a dark place and my way of coping with this for the next ten years was drink drugs and violence.
14 years ago I got into a fight on the way home from a Christmas night out, i spent a week in hospital with head injuries and lost the sight in one eye.
Id had enough, I started to think about ending my miserable life.
And then WHAM………. I met somebody beautiful in every way , in an instant life was wonderful again.
It took years to get off and stay off the drugs but I’ve been clean for 6 years,,,, haven’t even touched a cig for 3 ,,,,, but I know I drink far to much (that’s my next challenge)
I’ve had several different councillors over the years and now have the tools to DIY my moments of depression although it does get the better of me from time to time but that’s the rollercoaster called life, i tell myself the ups and downs may be long or short but they do follow each other eventually
At the moment I have a job I don’t like , nice little house with my beautiful partner who has given me an amazing funny energetic 2 year old son. we don’t have much and it’s a bit of a struggle to pay the bills etc but we keep things simple and although I’m the happiest I’ve been for a long time, I’m prepared for the next time life takes a turn for the worst.