I adore porridge and eat it whenever I have time in the mornings. I also believe in religously following recipes, NO deviations are EVER acceptable. However, my porridge has always been p*ss-poor compared with porridge I’ve had anywhere else, but what the heck. A few weeks ago, half-asleep I blundered the mix (I’ve always carefully weighed it out according to instructions) and to cap my crime against humanity also got the microwave time wrong (OK, I was hungover!). Bizarrely, it was the best porridge I’ve ever made. I’m now faced with the huge dilemma of being a recipe deviant and enjoying it, or obeying the rules as set down by the Grand Recipe Council (who are all-knowing and all-seeing). So I’ve not had it since as I don’t know what to do. Oh the dilemma!

Maybe you should have given the other Party (a) Ring? Not to Waffle, you don’t want to drive him Crackers.

Very nice, especially in orange.

(I leave my steerers like that too).

There – some more niceness for you.

How, just how, did Titanic II ever get made?!!! It sounds utterly hilarious – it was a send-up, surely?

Just back from Oban where I always go to “Tommy’s Top Styles”. Tommy qualified in 1961. £5 for all that experience – brilliant.

That’s the one! Thanks.

Surf-mat, your second picture captures the fecality of the design to perfection – just glad I didn’t have a bigger screen. I can only imagine the designer had some eye problem where he saw the world in some sort of weird perspective opposite to a fish eye lens.

I really like the Maxi. My Dad used to have one.

Whatever that hideously ugly Ford thing from a few years back was – the one with the truly awful bulging boot. It looked like a whale about to have triplets (there may be a picture of it above somewhere, bit it showed it from the front!).

said the bishop

secretary buffing her

sea anenome which

bearing grease nipples

without her pants

Can I come to the party and have a humour injection too?

We used to live in a flat above a real twunt, the other neighbours were all lovely but he just terrorised them (we were the only ones working, everyone else was retired, including him). He was one of those mean, petty, bitter old fools, he thought he lorded it over everyone in the flats and constantly sniped and bragged. He hated the fact I had bikes, and made snippy comments just loud enough for me to hear – which I just ignored. There was a communal car parking spot out the front for vistors which he decided was his (he did drive a Lexus with a personalised plate – says it all really) and had a screaming hissy fit if anyone went near it.

He was really nasty to the poor old housebound woman next to him, a real bully. He tried it with us once when we moved in, but I told him in uncertain terms where he stood and then he just resorted to muttered mindless comments – he never actually had the bottle to stand up to me to my face. He told another (lovely) couple that he wished they were dead when they returned from her mothers’ funeral (they’d parked briefly out the front on the way to it)! His wife was utterly terrified of him – she wouldn’t speak to him when she answered the door when his TV was blaring late at night, she said she was “too scared” of him. Basically, a bully.

I largely ignored the old twunt, even when I am sure it was him who put 3 dents in our car. I did accidentally spin my muddy wheel on my bike after cleaning it all over his precious just-valeted car a couple of times though. So clumsy.

I so badly wanted to pay to have an unmarked skip parked clumsily next to his car to block him in when we left, but decided it was just sad how much bitterness he held inside him. It would have been hilarious though, as he would have internally combusted, I am sure.

I’ve used weather online for some time. They’ve only had it disasterously wrong once in the last couple of years, for me.

Never. At all. There’s then no line between justifying it on the basis that that person “might have some knowledge that will prevent whatever” and inflicting it on people whose ideas and beliefs you might not agree with.

Hmmm, haribo sacrifice – tricky……. That adds another dimension to the decision.

Caol Ila would get my vote, but that’s personal preference.

I really didn’t work hard enough at school (I went through an idiot phase) and came out with an embarrassing lack of decent exam results. Managed to scrape into Sheffiled City Polytechnic (as it was then) ith a bit of pleading and did a diploma in Material Studies, then used that to get onto the Metallurgy degree, and with a bit of effort got a 2:1. That was all between 1985 and 1990. Really enjoyed it, echo much of the above comments about growing up, very much formative years for me. Biggest regret was that I wasn’t into biking then – for goodness’ sakes, the Peak District was yards away!!!

mrgibbons – grateful if you could send your info about Canada. A regular dream. Struggling with how the word “guaranteed” can sit next to the word “job”, though???

I believe that on bigger aircraft fuel is pumped around different tanks automatically to “balance” the C of G as people move / fuel gets burned etc.

Certainly as stated on smaller ones they need to balance people – it’s happened to me a few times on a small half-empty plane out of City (which is a flipping white knuckle ride at the best of times – utterly terrifying landing in a high easterly wind!!).

What’s he doing in the interim? Saving the moment for the weekend, no doubt.

Picolax and leave him to it!! :wink:

Bourbons, fig rolls or Hob Nobs for me, but a year on and I STILL can’t get my head around the Rich Tea comments! Rich Tea? Rich Tea? They are basically used sandpaper on crumbly twenty-year-old plasterboard that have been left to fester in the rainy carpark behind Asda before having any taste removed. Horrible things.

In that case does anyone know what the likely effect of the industrial action on the Tube is?

You are joking?! It will be even worse (if that’s possible) than normal days (2 ****’ hours to get in this morning!!!!!!). God I loathe TfL with a passion. Give me back my life.

And breathe. It will be sh*te on everything with sporadic trains on some lines every now and then.

Please let me know when you are. Ours are early o’clock until you finish, which is of course, never. The idea of fixed hours is out of this world. And what is this “lunchtime” you speak of?!

Sorry, feeling sorry for myself this morning. Will shut up now.

Anyone recommend a good company for buying cases in the UK? Well, Christmas is just around the corner…..

Hels, what job do you do that involves 8 hours a day?! Can I have one?

Yes, you have to sign on and GIVE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS to TfL. I personally wouldn’t trust TfL as an organisation to sit the the right wazy round on a toilet given my daily commute, so I won’t do that. Heaven knows who’ll they’ll give them to. I’m waiting for them to make it open to anyone turning up, but the expected date keeps getting further away, it seems.

However, your choice, and if you’re OK with it you will need to set it all up first via the website (as above).

Haven’t read all of the above but for me would rather stick to changing. This morning I actually saw a little bit of daylight on the way to work, and will have it (hopefully) for a few more weeks. It means a lot. Without it, the only daylight I get to see at all until next April (apart from through tinted quadruple-glazed windows on the other side of the office) is at weekends. Can’t be healthy.

What sauce for a nymphomaniac-attarcting half a twix?

Cougar – mine did too earlier when someone was on about their OH preferring red to brown.

I’ll get my coat now, i think….

Frites au pain tartine de Sarsons?

Whatever it’s called, Brown / HP Sauce is still the devil’s poo.

Fish finger sarnie – got to be a mix of red / tomato / ketchup and mayonnaise. Yum.

Blimey Dr, you caught yourself out there – “Worcester sauce lives in my cupboard with spices” – then “all sauces except vinegar live in the fridge”!

For someone with OCD tidiness, you’re a bit sauce-confused.*

*Unless your cupboard is a fridge of course.

Brown is Satan’s poo. In my opinion.

Brown Sauce on Fish & chips and bacon sarnies?!! Wrong wrong wrong!

It would be like putting Sarah Palin in a Mensa meeting.

The Chilterns

I seem to have two – I’m very special then!

I don’t think PC World is that good that a “poor”* advert can be sacrilege, surely?

*I’ve not seen them. BBC.

10. Napalm.

11. Laser death rays

12. Thermonuclear explosions.

All the above are still too good for them.

Greasystain – A RING of salt? Two flipping tons of salt, surely?

Cougar:

I used to work with a lass who couldn’t eat a chaotic chip buttie.

One of the funniest lines on STW for me ever!