Surf is smurf dandruff

They have a daughter called Sue

Using real film is cool, all the way to the right on the cool wall, I hate them nasty digital **** things, auto flash tears my nipples off, red eye is almost bleeding constant – even with red eye reduction set on and tweety sounds for every function…. fits in the pocket nice tho’

They can cure you of a viagra overdose

Chiropodists supply Fray Bentos with ‘Beef’

Daleks wear high heels

Hello Grumm, I realise that, we could be living with Mugabi etc.

Robots are scared of tin openers

Steelfreak, I think the truth , the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about just what the gov know about the state of our streets would be orgasmic sensationalism to a journalist –

What I would like to know, and if truthful the gov wouldnt like us to know is how our knife crime / violent crime rates pro rata with out Euro cousins ?? What is wrong with GB ? we hate success and applaud failure, We desert the victim and protect the perpotrator, Judges are not aligned to the law of the land – handing down soft deterents all because some do-gooders claim the defendent is a victim of society – the society the defendent is destroying ..blah, blah – I have grandchildren and I actually am worried about the danger that lies before them – just going to school..

1) telesales people –
2) Rover Streetwise
3) Tioga Tyres

Come to think about it, how come Clarkson and his 2 mates dont get stopped for hassling traffic in cars that are clearly falling apart on their top gear show ? maybe they dont go the Forth Bridge route.

Ernie_lynch, she is a dead ringer for Abi Titmus tho’

any honkys here ? (Love thy neighbour) it works both ways – evens society up a bit dont you think ?

uplink,
The crem dont have a gas bill that high…

I have to wait for a leap year, and have a good burn out with the whole extra day, or wait till the clocks go back and just have the post exercise shower …

I call my mother in law the ‘Taliban’ – what does that make me ??????

Im 007, somebody had to say it 🙄

You could expect the same with your next bill if you do not get it sorted out, we are only half way through the winter quarter,
Just to piss on your blanket, 3 bed det – heating on a lot, leccy usage normal, £62 month combined ( also price freeze till Oct 2009) (Eon)

Its your own fault for owning a Buggati Veyron 😆

can you not transfer money from your ‘secret stash’ back into your home ac ?

Them roadies even play with trucks ..

mY WIFES 1.3 ohv Ka is £140 a year, My Honda Civic 1.6 is the same …

Hello, Im Stevie Wonder, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY…

heres one.. I work in a pnuematics company, we have a Medical division and I am the QE for this work.
I was doing something and received a tiny papercut to the tip of my finger – 3mm long is exagerating, because I handle bits that are attached to ventilators etc I immediately went to first aid for a plaster cos we cannot have blood mixing with the product — can we –… Jesus H Crikey.. I had to fill in a form with my details address, how I received the cut… what can be done to avoid a repeat of the injury … etc then I had to sign the form and some other document.. this then went to my manager … who had to go through the form with me ….. then it went to H&S who interviewed me and I had to complete the bottom of another form and sign it … Its then got added to the injurys report for that month,,,, I now have a supply of my own plasters … bureaucratic nonsense .. it was not life threatening … I could well understand it if was.

mountaincarrot, you may as well get Michael Crawford in to do your gas thingys….

CLH, so heres your first test… go to Postierich’s gas fire thread and strut your stuff..

So what do your neighbours think, do you go round and say, please get under the table and put your fingers in your ears cos I wont be a minute blowing half the bloody street up….

So WHAT are you driving ? some oily old merc ?

Typical student behaviour already… you’ll be fine, just tell them you were practising not turning up for lectures..

You are now officially an educator, H&S is a serious business, just ask the kids who dont have daddys anymore..well done you..

I brought a Carera from Halfords and was pretty pleased with myself until I told workmates (Takisawa2 and crew) and they told me about Wed eve rides they did on the Chase. So I went feeling proud of my wheels – soon found out it was like a roman chariot but got hooked by the riding and the great laughs and beers after. Got rid of the chariot for a better frame and eventually upgraded to Spec ‘S Works HT’ but now also ride a trance cos its bullet proof.. need to get out more now tho…

I am a stunt double for a man in bed…Zzzzz

Why a corgi, I have a Yorky Terrorist you can borrow 😆

What kind of resource ? Natural Gas? Oil ? Brazilian Rain Forest or as your Boss likes to think, a Pleb ?

Its a lot cheaper than your fine / to mess with the gas withput being gorgi is totally illegal, your house / building insurance is void … the list goes on

Put your fag out,

According to Massa who did a couple of laps in it today, its very much the same size as a formula 3 car – Just hope the racing this season offers the same level of excitement..

I just think that between the 2 groups everyone was catered for…

Only caught the bit with the fire ants – fascinating…