I’ve been going through some pretty rough times lately too.
If the meds you are being prescribed don’t suit you then you need something else. I’m afraid it’s a bit of a lottery as everyone reacts differently. Remember that you don’t have to be taking pills forever, just for now.
Try to be both long sighted and short sighted, pick the one that suits you best at that point in time and shut the door on the other. One day at a time is probably best right now, make a plan for each day to do just a little bit more tomorrow than the day before. Don’t aim too high, you will be bound to fail taking big steps right now. Remember the end goal, when the time is right, to be fit, to take care of your partner, have fun and get the best that you can out of life.
Don’t be hard on yourself, you can get through this, best wishes. Neil.