he has enormous feet.

an interesting (and possibly irrelevant) point was made by a friend of mine the other day, he’s got a 5 piece band and the venue promoter (a shite) was trying to settle on a figure of less than £200 for a 1hr 40mins set of original material, his response was:

him: “do you know much about plumbers?”

venue: “erm, a bit, why?”

him: “how much do you think it would cost to get a plumber and four assistants out to do two hours work late on a Saturday evening then?”

venue: “gone knows, it wouldn’t be cheap”

him: “but you expect us all to come along, driving about 1hr round trip, bring all our kit, pack out your pub and entertain your punters for two hours, for peanuts?”

venue: fair point, £500 ok?

its all a matter of perspective.

and timc, I’m a recording & preforming artist.

its a spotify killer.

P

eople don’t want to pay for music and the majors know this. Have you also found a way to overcome that problem?

yes

As Three Fish says, the horse has already bolted. Unless you have a way of reversing this trend I would have though you would need to be predicting the future to make everyone lots of money!

yes

great.

I’m playing at the reception.

fruit and a jar of vim

rub them dry on the legs of a hairy spider?

who was that? I missed that totally! (email me if you can’t, for legal reasons, reply on here!)

and there was me thinking someone had dropped a Victoria sponge cake on a cassette.

Identify the producer of the hour at R4, add them on farcebook; in the add include a message mentioning the play with a notable scene included, ask if they could help get it on the air?

Depends what audience you are going for, You may end up getting felt up inappropriately by an elderly lady in an alleyway behind a disused bingo hall? don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Dear <xxxxxxxxxxxxx>

I have just inherited a small island and substantial financial assets, due to political unrest in the area we have a need to move funds very quickly, we simply don’t have time to set up receiving accounts, If you could please in confidence provide us with your account number, sort code and last three digits of your security code we will transfer the sum of $240,000.08 into your account. Your co-operation in this matter will not go unrewarded.

(my name and address)

done!

When you get old you get a sensible haircut and opt for a stable job rather than some sort of hedonistic rock and roll lifestyle.

tell that to Keith Richards

pfft I was expecting something like a kitten walking backwards with a yogurt pot stuck on its head, but no its some fella riding a bike! what ever next?

haha I just gazumped him,
I’m gonna knock it all down and build a pig farm.

Disclaimer: not really, good luck!

set up an offshore charity fund for “brooess in need”, work as a volunteer only accepting donations.

…now I wonder if that would work?

parhelia sighted yesterday around these parts

yhm

I think its amazing that so many on line retailers are now employing real time online “chat now” agents. only good can come of it.

zip ties & the thames are your friends 😉

Unless you’re wearing a hand knitted merino skin suit you’re not trying hard enough.

yep then they can hang themselves whilst out climbing trees and then a family of bullfinches could nest in the petrified corpse, the circle then remains unbroken.

shoot the cat, next time it could be a baby robin.

http://preview.metronomy.co.uk/

This is poised to be the most unavoidable music of the summer if the NME have anything to do with it

that’s disgusting, may I recommend a strongly worded letter to your MP?

I would do, but I think Daz my 6ft+ bass player may turn me into some kind of soup! 😀

I fear it may be classed as “Country” have I wandered away from the blues and folk and into hitherto land of prosthetic breasts and tassels?

its a rough sketch sure enough, I’d recorded it just as I’d written it, on a park bench, in 20 mins. Oh and the capo is on the 4th fret.

I’m gonna develop it, it’ll have bass and I’m looking for a cellist for a part I have in mind, if it doesn’t work I’ll bin it.

ah I forgot I’d posted it earlier!!

Nirvana was fantastic.

Also try Daniel Johnson and Neutral Milk Hotel

put it in your ears, i’d be interested as to opnion?

I wrote it, not blooz for all its trapping, dsyleckia maybe, did you listen to it?

I’ve a box of matches and some kindling made from a half burnt shed I found

Christ mate, what caused it? best wishes you’re quite a fighter, heal quick!!

shoot it, the next time it could be a baby robin.

clubbers second image does some very odd things to my brain.

none of the stuff on the high street will do a particularly clean job, call one of those windscreen repair places and offer them some cash or contact a glass supplier and ask them to UV bond it for you