Argh. I despise all talk of ‘shoot to kill’ polices. It’s the worst turn of bloody phrase.

Maybe, but I have three children I have to get ready for school and sort out after everyday this week. Pushing to the point of exhaustion isn’t going to cut it.

I’m more at ease with this. Admitted a few things to myself and out loud. I’m getting in a better place to move on with my life but be there to support as required.

I hear you all loud and clear. Life must move on, I have some sleeping pills to assist with the zero sleep I’ve had for the last few days, booked back in with a counsellor to help me through this.

@cinnamon_girl: She is CG, that’s where I think this stems from. It’s unleashed a torrent of emotion and she cannot make sense of it all. I am definitely baring the brunt of issues from before us.

I am accepting this is the way things are, because trying to fight for us makes her angrier.

@Educator: Thank you for your kind words.

I know what the issues are, I understand her position. I just cannot do anything about it now. Those things have passed. I would literally do anything to fix this, but she just will not speak to me. I’m hoping after having a chat with her parents she’ll see what I’m trying to do and will unfreeze slightly.

I love her to the end of the universe and back, I want nothing more than us to be together. If that can never happen then I want us to be able to have a relationship that is positive for both ours and the kids sake.

And no, I don’t think she’s being 100% rational. She does this when stuff gets too much.

Yes we did. How we got to this, well I’m trying to get my head around that right now. I can’t see it.

Well, Mrs Moose went to her parents tonight for the rest of the week. We need the space, It’s just me and the kids until then. There is an air between us, we’re sat in the same room, a few feet from each other and it feels like a thousand miles.

We don’t speak, nothing. It’s exhausting. If we cannot get past this then I will have to move out and leave her to manage everything alone. The last thing I want.

I’m working on it, just trying to grieve at the moment, need to go through the process to get over this.

**** RAF Regt… :wink:

There is a part of me that wishes I felt like that Bob.

Kimbers. I like it. I also heard he was a big fan of Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan. Nuff said.

As a soldier, I’m all for wiping these scumbags off the face of the earth. But this bothers me, on the battlefield we’re not supposed to exploit enemy dead. It’s against the rules of war, law of armed conflict and general decency.

This is the same in my opinion. It should have just been a very simple press release to confirm that a high value target involved in the murder of multinational civilians has been targeted and prosecuted successfully.

Guys, I cannot thank you all sincerely enough for you words of support. I am very much still in love with my wife, which is a problem. I am more accepting of this situation today, even though I am mentally, physically and emotionally shattered.

All I can do is try and keep things civil. She’s a good woman who has reached her point. I can only accept this and try to move on with my life. We both want to stay in each others lives, just not as intimate partners. I hope we can achieve this.

Sounds like a plan. I have to move out over the weekend, a sunday pint may be just what I need.

Dishforth.

I’m literally just up the road! Literally.

We’ve had a good chat tonight. Things are in a better place. I think we’ll be able to move forward amicably. We both recognise it’ll take some work.

I care little for possessions, my bike and my macbook. That’s about it, the rest are irrelevant.

Some people may have missed the part where my pointed out my notice period is 365 days. So giving that still wouldn’t solve the issue, and leave me seriously out of pocket for something I have already committed nearly 20 years to. If I could walk tomorrow and make this work I would, I can’t.

I’ve told a few more people, it’s still hell. I’m still at home and we’re trying to figure out what the hell is happening. I’m in a sickening limbo while we find our way forward. As for the legal advice, taken and received. While things are polite I’m happy to stay and help where I can. If it turns, I’m gone. She’s not entitled to anything, and as I’ll leave with barely anything, she can’t have 50% of nothing.

Today was rough, but we talked a little more this evening. We have plan of sorts, just have to see how things go over the next few days.

Thanks Pawsy. I’ll make some phone calls this morning.

I wish it was that easy. It would still take me year to be out of it even if I gave notice today. That’s the bitch with the military.

Yes mate. Step-kids. I have no legal standing when it comes to them, but I’ve been their dad for the last four years since we’ve been married. They’re 11, 9 and 8. My wife and I are trying to figure out the path ahead, I need to help her get set up on her own and assist where needed.

As for legal advice, I’ve had some from a family friend, I’m in a good place with all that. Just trying to let the waters settle for now come to terms with it all. I’m 2 1/2 years from my full service up in the Army so changing my job right now isn’t an option.

That’s all I want. I don’t want this to turn into the usual horror show. I still love her, she just cannot cope with my job and the effect is has on us and how much it has changed me. Part of me, blindly hopes we can find a way to each other.

It’s just a very confusing and emotional time. To finally admit and make a decision that I knew was coming is still heartbreaking. Thank you all for your advice and kind words. It’s really appreciated.

Thank you, all. I’m not a drinker anyway so it’s not an issue avoiding that. Being in the military complicates this because they feel the need to get involved, in most cases they actually make things worse. Trying to keep them out of the loop so we can sort out things like adults.

I’m a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment, trying to keep things even is a total struggle. I woke up this morning incredibly angry; it took some effort to move past that. Our priority is the children, making sure the effect is as minimal as it can be.

It’s nice to have this anonymity, sometimes the kindness of strangers makes you feel a little less alone.

Without going into details, there isn’t a lot she can do in this situation. Together for 5, married for 4. I’m not even considering the negatives here. You can’t take 50% of nothing.

I’m in North Yorkshire, it’s not something I’m ready to share to my wider friends, need to get to grips with it myself first. Currently on the sofa, we’re just going to figure out how to minimise the impact on the kids over the next couple of days.

Three step-kids who I love dearly and our two hounds. I still love her very much, but even I know when i’m flogging a dead horse. As for the ride, no dice, still only a few week post shoulder surgery. I just feel very alone all of a sudden.

This is what it’s about.

It’s what it should always be about. Reflecting on the total and absolute human devastation caused by war. But it’s not, we’re at a point in history where the west looks on as more people suffer at the hands of a brutal, warped version of an ideology. But because of our lack of attention to the lessons of history, our interference, it has caused a situation of our making and we watch on. Helpless and pointless.

I wear a poppy on my uniform, because I have to. I don’t wear one any other time. It doesn’t stop me remembering the three friends I’ve lost. It’s just a piece of tat, same as all those other ribbons and bands that people ‘buy’. It’s become a fashion accessory like the rest of them, all most as irritating as those people who chose to wear manky festival bands.

Cross? And you talk about moral bankruptcy? Irony alert is going haywire.

Then being ‘ex-defence’ you should know the difference between a weapon and a piece of equipment. :roll:

Julie Andrews, Whoopi Goldberg, Mother Teresa and NATO. Only ways of describing Tea.

Engage. ‘You need to see Tom and engage about the issues”

What you want me to see Tom and shoot him? Piss off.

Probably because ‘normal’ guys are ****ing terrified of flirting or showing the remotest of interest in case they get labelled ‘creepy’ or ‘potential rapist’.

Women like the mother are the reason aliens won’t talk to us and Jeremy Kyle has a TV show.

Touche. :lol:

I despair at some people, social media is awash with peoples expressions of moral outrage at a wide array off, quit frankly, bullshit reasons. Rather than be happy that a member of the public has validated that she has passed on good genes to her daughter; that she doesn’t look like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.

That message wasn’t creepy, creepy is saying you want to kiss her where she poos. Ffs. :roll:

It pains me to know that I’m going to see my service out under this Tory government. This piece of legislation is another of the many reasons I dislike them and May in particular.

Yeah. Even though at the time I never thought of it as that. It got worse when we had our son, a very good tool for control. I’m not going to go into detail here, it still stings five years later. My email is in profile of you need advice or guidance.

Linky

Yup. one on the right.