Assuming they’re experienced and they know you’re not, they’ll have a word before the off. They’ll want you to enjoy your ride and they’d like to go home with as much skin as they left with.

Don’t do the shouting thing.
If they do the shouting thing, find a new club.
They’ll have no dignity.
Besides, at 30mph, a shout of “car up!” becomes “wah-hu!” The real problem is “grid left!”, “pulling out right!” and any other damn thing at 30mph sounds like “wah-hu!”

That’d be Manchester alright. The tens of thousands of residents of the city and its suburbs who get through life with barely a trip on the pavement are just victims waiting to happen.
Unlike all the other areas of this country where similar victims were just unlucky – it could have happened to anyone.
Unless you live in Manchester of course. Then it’s inevitable.

A voi signore Hoopsie, una ventina di tuo inglese sterline. Incontriamoci al semaforo college, non l’olio di bambino richiesto….l’olio di bambino richiesto a meno che il vostro appassionato.

True happines and peace of mind can only be found in one place.
The last bite of a Dairy Milk Bar and a Half.

No mp3’s, radios etc. allowed. In fact, our line manager carriw out occasional spot checks on non work mobile phones to ensure they’re turned off. It does her head in that I don’t own one.
I was happy to be able to advise at the time Mr Nutt but as you became aware, there’s not much you can do when we unleash the dogs. I take no pleasure in it.
I can’t often get onto the Internet during work hours, Ton (ps. What’s all the full stops all about?).
I’m keeping a very quiet eye on things Three_Fish but I daren’t mention it at home. She’ll be thinking I’m off on one again.
I envy you PeterPoddy.

Thanks for trying anyway Molgrips
That is simple but genious ourmaninthenorth – I’ll set about rigging something up this evening.

Hoopsie! Quick! Somebody has hijacked your login on here and is making out you’re going to wear gay knee protectors! The very cheek of it!

You tried to ride up and then down the footpath steps? Well done (or not) you :-).
The only hard part of the descent on the bridleway is the very top bit, the rest is no great shakes at all.
We did it – down – on Saturday morning. No walkers or bikers in either direction which was a first for us.

For the appeasement of the pedant. For momentum read: Adequate speed while maintaining control for the ground conditons you are attemptng to ride over.
Can’t we just call it momentum? It’s much quicker to type than all that.

The harder section at the top I would say would rate as a decent black. It requires momentum, nerve and a sprinkling of luck on a 100mm hardtail (I had all three this morning).
On a full suss. just momemtum and nerve. Definitely a ‘go faster to make it easier’ section. The rest of it? Red to blue. A great decent. A bugger of a climb that probably needs nearly as much pushing as riding.

You really do crave attenton don’t you? It’s really rather sad.

Mine was sent to my home address.

Yes, that’s your token to collect your new bike, that is.

edit – Do you mean you have it in your hand? Either way, it’s gone through so should be with you via the post in the next few days if not already with you.

This is great! It’s like sitting by the side of the road in Nairobi again. Laughing at all the minor and regular car crashes but everybody just carries on regardless :-)

“Are you joining us Monksie?”

No. Soz. I’m going the other way.

I seem to remember reading somewhere (can’t remember where though) about the benefits of removing a tooth on your chainring, making it harder to pedal your bike. That would help, surely? You’d have to work your core muscles harder to get the leverage missing from the tooth on the chainring. Wouldn’t cost much, hacksaws are a quid each in the pound shop.

Can I say in a completely non biblical way, I love the author and I wish you the best of luck in the challenge you have set yourself :-).

I’ve just received my latest subscription copy qwerty. Chuck your postal address over and you can have it early next week if you’d like it? I only put them in the kitchen at work when I’ve done with it in case somebody else wants it. I think the last one is still there.
My email is in my profile.

Mellor Cross a-c-t-u-a-l-l-y :-)

Thanks again everyone.
Jon – Can I ping an email over this evening? I can’t get into my home email account from here. Thanks very much.

That’s all very helpful, thank you and I think Hora may have hit the nail very squarely on the head even though I’ve been clumsy in my description.
Thanks again everyone.

I thought Carnaby St. was the in vogue place for fashion. Obviously not.
Sorry if I’ve offended you ap. I’m not sure I how can be much more specific to be honest. We’re traveling down from Manchester by car (the train was over £100 return last week when I looked), I promised her a London clothes shopping trip ‘cos River Island and Top Shop in town “are chav. innit”.
I don’t fancy trying to find my way around the mean streets of London, hence the request for parking and train info (much appreciated) rather than as a cost effective way of getting into London,. I despise driving in a city.
Lots of helpful stuff up there already (thank you) with the obligatory prod at not so helpfulness but hey ho, it’s the way this place is of late.
Is there somewher else we should be heading for apart from Harvey Nicks? We have one in Manchester so I think she’ll be disapointed if we go there.
She’s (we’re) hoping for some small, independant boutique type stuff.
I’m braced and prepared for some GBH of the bank account.

Thanks for the tips. Traveling from Manchester.
No, not rocket science. It’s a request for tips on car parking and train travel into London on a Saturday, asked on an Internet message forum. Thanks anyway.
Very fashion conscious. She doesn’t really do high street fashions.We could stay over and do Sunday as well.

“The auction only includes the item’s in the above list.”
Gutting.

I’ve probably gone on about it far too much already this week but your very scenario currently has me on crutches, black and blue all over, a friction burn from my ankle to my knee with tyre rubber that won’t come out of the hole, a written off front bike wheel and carbon bars, a bill for the ambulance taking me to the hospital, a very pissed off (but still very nice) wife who is wondering how much more she can take (other domestic incidents and manic depression induced), nearly arrested for assault, a driver facing a dangerous driving charge (subject to CPS decision making) for deliberatley ramming me into a bus, a whole heap of people late for work and a traffic bobby having to spend a lot of time dealing with all this nonsense.
My one and only significant road rage incident. There won’t be another.

at first glance I don’t think the two look disimilar.
I’m sure the young lady is very sweet and lovely.
Please don’t let my musings put you off of your stroke (steady) though.

I’m no blind man on a galloping horse but at first glance I thought that was that (now dead – death caused by an orange, a rope and a plastic bag) bloke from Inxs.

I climbed on the bonnet of a reversing car , jumped off, opened the drivers door and made like a schoolboy in a playground fight. That was quite bizzare behaviour during a ride (although the ride ended right there).

Yikes! Thanks for pointing them out for me Nezbo but after dragging my wife out of work to pick me up from the hospital yet again, I don’t think I’d live if I bought those.

Apologies for the spelling mistakes, I’m still getting over the trauma.

I hate "and stuff" after (seemingly) every sentence. What stuff? Do you mean some knd of singular to stuffing as in the substance used to plump up cushions?
I'm going to bed before I really start ranting.

Any more routes, anyone?
I'm dong a Macclesfield Forest / Goyt Valley convoluted thing tomorrow but it would be hard to follow via my "up there, turn left" route description,

Free when they mean three. One is without cost, the other is a number.
etc.etc.etc. One is enough. Adding more doesn't mean more of more.
Youse (pronounced as Use). Try "You people", it sounds much better.

I in turn doff my cap in recognition of your humility :-}
It's just like the old days, this.

I don't normally due the pedants thing (far too tedious) but I couldn't resist this time :-}

First and most important piece of advice is to edit your post and change the reference to Lady Bower to Ladybower :-}
I did one today which was rather nice.
Hayfield, Roych Clough, Rushup Edge, Dirtlow Rake, Pindale, Hope, Roman Road, Hope Cross, Hagg Farm, Lockerbrook, Fairholmes (I was, going to do Whinstone Lee Tor but I wussed out), Yorkshire Bridge, Coppice, Hope Cross, Jaggers Clough, Edale (I then did Mam Nick/ Edale Rd and A roads back to Stockport but otherwise could have been), Barber Booth and then Jacobs Ladder back to Hayfield.

Hahahaha! – You big gayer! I'm good thanks. You can have an S&M saddle for free.
Actually, I'm out for the day tomorrow and Thursday. I'm doing two Peak District epics if the media world can spare you for one or more of them?

I'd have thought the new shiny red casette ring and new shiny silver lockring would have cost more than that but no, £7. I insisted on paying more.
Njee- you want me don't you? It's Ok to want me.
Go back and read it again. In fact, I'll cut and paste it just for you:
I had a new XT cassette spacer, lockring and complete retune of my indexing and tightening of freewheel and hub bearings
See that? What you said and some new parts.
Xx

It's a bit of an in joke with Hoopsie. Sorry if I bothered you.

I have the specifically made by Odi for gimpshift purposes half size lock on's which I purchased from Chain Reaction Cycles on my Cannondale F1000sl which is fitted with Sham gimp shifters..