Had finger as well………

Owwww

Wine is making it better

I have chronic epiydimitus and other water works issues and am getting the camera put places where it shouldn’t tomorrow…..

Currently having a G&T so as to blot out the thought of it.

Had lower colonoscopy with small Hubble telescope shoved up backside! To give the camera some room they inflate your colon, which is bloody painful. After finding nothing and feeling very bloated I was given some wadding to put in my boxers to collect any seepage.

I was then sent for a blood test and the nurse said I looked very miserable to which I grumpily replied “I’ve just had my arse inflated to a million psi of course I’m not happy”. Riding home on the motorbike was interesting, the vibrations meant I farted continuously all the way back. Boxers were consigned to the dustbin as well.

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: “Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

My old boss used to work on Vulcans, he has many stories but this is the best.

A Vulcan was in the hanger for a major service. It was sitting on 3 big jacks, one under each wing and one under the nose. Part of the service involved setting up the landing gear sequencing cam. Remember this is pre computer days so it was mainly electro-mechanical. The landing sequence worked off a cam shaft, various lobes of which triggered bay door open, pressurise hydraulics, lock doors open, lower gear, lock pin deployment etc. By all accounts they were a sod to setup.

An up and coming almost passed out apprentice had been given the task of setting it up BUT was under strict instructions NOT to test it until his work had been checked. He thought he would try and lock good and whilst sitting in the cockpit triggered the landing gear down cycle. Unfortunately he’d got it VERY wrong. The potent hydraulics smashed the gear through the still locked doors with a deafening sound of tearing metal. Such was the forces involved the Vulcan rocked back and up off its jacks the nose rising into the air.

Staff threw themselves out of the hanger as the plane crashed back down onto its nose jack! The almost serviced plane needed extensive repairs……….

The apprentice and his instructor had to suffer a stern listening too whilst on the spiky chair.

+1 The Cleave

Blue and Green should never be seen be seen ………

Idiots, I’d want some ones head on a platter if I was Lewis.

A work colleague got bumped up the heart bypass queue ( been in a hospital bed for over a week) by bribing the senior consultant with a bag of extra strong mints.

It’s a bit of long story but culminated with the senior consultant arriving at the foot of his bed “NEVER in all my years of medicine has anyone tried to bribe me, let alone with a packet of extra strong mints, are you free tomorrow afternoon?”

Maverick speedball, uppy/downiness was fine but seat clamp was rubbish
3 KS900’s in the house, first gen one went back under warranty, but fine since then.
Two of the KS are heavily used, serviced hamfistedly by me and have never let me down bar the very odd muddy ride clogged the actuator usually fixed with a squirt of camelbak fluid.
KS lev 27.2 on 29er, bit of a pain to setup initially but otherwise flawless so far(touches wood)
Most people I know with Reverbs have had at least one warranty claim and have had rides ruined when a crash has ripped the hose out.
Another mate has a fossilised GD (think it predates my speedball)which apart from being clunky is still going strong

A work colleague got sent on one, it was full of school mum run and sales reps.

When the “teacher” went round the group asking people how much they’d gone over the speed limit by my colleague replied “84 in a 30”. He got a death looks and the instructor began saying that he shouldn’t be on the course etc at which point he said “oh sorry I meant 84 in a 70”.

Suffice to say he got sent to the naughty chair and told there was no humour in speeding.

Apologies for thread Hijack, did my Liberator every arrive?

Painful death from “She who must be obeyed”…..twice and at some length

Poly chlorinated Biphenyls

Nasty stuff

OS map, ride towards Lustleigh and the Nutcracker Stones.

the rebel giant breast and nipple gun on Hoth, that’d do the job!

Why should the paying public suffer?

Because management are being unreasonable/unfair and after much (months of) negotiation have backed the unions into a corner where they have no option but to ballot staff to take industrial action.

It’s not taken lightly and as always is a matter of last resort. Should it have to happen then hopefully it will add impetus, both public and political to both sides to resolve it.

It’s not that Hora.

I’m a firm believer that from top to bottom everybody should get the same %, maybe even capped nearer the top to stop massive disparity and stop “butterfly” management dropping in for a few years and get massive pay rises before leaving.

RPI for following three years (which I don’t have a problem with).

The really galling bit was the directors pay increases and the “well what do you expect you are public sector” now comment.

NR and the Unions are still talking at present so there is hope that the industrial action will not go ahead.

I just hope that the Unions and NR Management are not political “willy waving” at present and are seriously talking as no one wants a strike.

The problem is that various NR directors have awarded themselves 40% pay rises, spend lots on flights, piss money away in waste and then tell the staff that you’ll be getting no pay rise this year (its a £500 lump sum so £300 after tax and not pensionable).

NR has been nationalised on the quiet and you staff are now public servants who get squat.

Hmmm

Blew up a couple of hundred thousand pounds of plasma arc furnace power supply after I fixed one fault on the feedback control loop but in my smugness at fixing the first fault missed the second one. Cue massive run away event and lots of broken semiconductors. Worse still was the power thyristors then had to be made costing even more money in down time.

Whilst working as a “controller” on the railway I may have “forgotten” to tell anyone about a points failure overnight. Oh that incurred a lot of very expensive delays in the morning I can tell you. I had an extensive strong listening too whilst on the spikey chair for that one.

A railway radio network, if it wasn’t working come 0500 there would have been no trains out of Victoria.

Chewie and Ahsoka can manage around 15-20 miles stop start around the forest in cool weather. Open down land continuous is a bit less, it’s also via every horse trough so they can get in and cool off(scumier the better it seems). We’ve got a folding dog bowl as well.

Had the RSPCA around last week, was very polite and told them “no”. In response to the “we need money to prosecute people” I pointed out that they had not covered themselves in glory in recent prosecutions.

I wish I hadn’t been polite as a few days later I found out that RSPCA’s advice to someone could have resulted in the deaths of some ferrets whose owner had died.

Hedge Fund masquerading as a charity!

Lustleigh loop or Burrator, both fantastic places to ride.

sounds like Herring Ebola, can I have your bicycles?

Me, because I make Stalin look like the Pope!

Southern RPI’s can be scum.

Last year on a really hot day a heavily pregnant and stressed looking woman got on the train with her partner. It was packed/standing room only and no F~ckers would get up and give her a seat. So she waddled down to first class and plonked herself down with her partner.

RPI walks through checking tickets and comes to couple. She has a right go about there being seats further along the train, (not in the next carriage as I’d walked through it trying to find a space). The partner explains that his wife is pregnant, stressed and needed to sit down in a hurry but the snotty nosed RPI bitch was having none of it and just carried on even when other passengers started to side with the couple.

Turfed them both off at East Croydon and fined them both.

Not Southerns finest hour.

Prepare for niche overload if riding with TM! 😀

A few weeks ago on our morning conference one of my colleagues made a few straining noises followed by a splash and a loud sigh…….

Broke in late August, failed to heal so Herbert screw and bone graft in Dec, riding carefully in April, back to normal by july

Thank you very much for your donation of £10.00 to the British Red Cross – Nepal Earthquake Appeal Your payment reference is: 77S401663J2054527

IRC mud mads, excellent mud tyres, terrifying on tarmac.

I don’t mind sponsoring people, it’s usually work colleagues BUT I had a colleague who expected everybody in the office to sponsor him and he kept on and on about what he was raising money for (just me and him in the office on a night shift so I was a captive audience) so I said no. Bloody Hell you’d of thought I was responsible for the ills his charity was trying to correct.

Ha bloody Ha! 😀

“Never more!”

Nice build. DT swiss forks, much under rated fork if you ask me.

There are some chilling parallels with what is happening now and a docu-drama I watched about 10 years ago (Europe on the brink, I think).

It started with huge immigration to Europe from the African continent, leading to a mediterrean wall due to rising nationalism if I remember correctly. Fossil fuel instability/increases, an inward turning fading America and a more aggressive Russia.

It didn’t end well.

Honey Badger?

Hmmm Tie fighter or X-Wing, decisions, decisions……

Have had flymo (both died electric deaths), qualcast (switch failed) and finally Bosch, its lasted 4 years and spends all winter in a leaky greenhouse but starts everytime.