I find myself saying “if you see what I mean” a lot, and it really annoys me – generally the person who I am speaking to sees perfectly well what I mean because they are not a retard (with the exception of some people at work…).

I’m sure that it must annoy the person that I’m speaking to even more.

+1 for Laphroaig.

Lagavullin is even better – but sadly it is also more expensive.

“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails.

Not really the song that I want to be singing to myself in the office.

Stepdaughter: “Cant wait for Sunday when Dad gives me my forst driving lesson – I’m really excited”

Me: “Cool. Er… which car will you be driving?”

Stepdaughter: “Yours”

8O

Would this be a good time for me to blame the French?

You are correct – horses cannot vomit. It’s a strictly one-way system.

I don’t know about getting motion sickness, but I can confirm that if they are not enjoying the journey then they will not waste any time in letting you know about it – and generally it won’t be in the form of a polite note.

It was not nice to recieve a fully grown rat at 1:30am Sunday morning :evil:

OP, Hope your mog feels better soon.

Black DC trainers.

Ever singe we were told that we could now use “reasonable force” against burglars, I have been keeping a couple of lump hammers by the front and back doors, in the DESPERATE hope that he would try to burgle my house :twisted:

My money’s on an abcess – in which case there is a relatively good chance that it will burst and then heal up of it’s own accord.

You think you’ve got problems?

After work this evening, I have to go to the vet’s to pick up some anti-depressan tablets. For my CAT. Seriously.

I think I may be living in some strange parallel universe.

Oh, and the onion that I chopped last night made my eyes water.

Stapled a (fairly important) document to my thumb this afternoon while “fixing” the office stapler. There was much swearing, and document ended up a tad blotchy. Still, at least the stapler now works.

Blimey – memories!

Still got the PWEI “sample it loop it f*** it and eat it long sleeved shirt knocking about somewhere…

My Monday started off fine until about 8:30, when I had mission impossible 4 in my kitchen. No, not another Cruise film, just the task of instering exhibit A – a large and phenomenally pissed off cat – into exhibit B – his cat carrier – in order to take him to the vets for the third time in a week, and his second full day of blood tests and various other procedures.

Still, I bet my Monday’s going much better than the cat’s…

Find out who it belongs to – if you can.

If not, congratulations, you now belong to a cat.

Don’t worry – training is really easy. If you are a quick learner, it will probably have you fully trained in just a few days :D

I really fancy a decent electronic drum kit. I have no idea why though, and I don’t for one minute think I’ll get one!

Er – we might be flogging one….

Tescos refused to include cover for theft in my fully comp insurance, unless I had the car fitted with a tracking system because it was a “high end marque desirable to thieves”.

WTF?

It’s a 10 year old MG!

Does there always have to be one keyboard-warrior wannebe super-hero…

Getagrip cat-boy…miioaaowwww

Oh I don’t know, I think that if somebody tried to shoot one of my pets I would definitely do something permanent and very messy to them.

Of course, the best way to stop other people’s cats coming into your garden is to get your own cat….

Hmmm.

I deliberately keep my cats in the house around dusk and dawn – the times when next door’s bird feeders are at their most densely populated.

The local pair of Sparrowhawks were delighted at being provided with a veritable smorgasboard of tasty treats with no pesky cat getting in the way…..

Bird mortality increased by about 500% :(

In a massive pile of horse sh!t :evil:

Veterinary Notes for Cat Owners :(

Concurrent with David Starkey’s Monarchy

Evil Cat Mk I went to vets last night for blood tests. He now looks like a pincushion – with a comedy haircut. Poor little bugger :(

MGZT.

Why yes, that is my coat….

Perhaps Markie, Miss Markie Jr and the cat should be nominated for some kind of award :D

PS, no, can’t say I fancy any of my mates’ wives.

Stan you slag! :D

How very dare you! Those photos are totally real!

I just photoshopped out all the blood…..

How old exactly is your daughter?

Has anyone explained that Dad is not a b***ard, Dad is actually suffering from a serous illness? There is a difference and she will probably understand that.

I wear a poppy, and not just for the dead.

My great uncle is now 94, and still living with PTSD caused by spending a lot of his time in service working on the Burma Railway as a Japanese POW. He also has to live with the guilt he feels about being one of the lucky few to survive the experience.

“It was the cat”

My first pair of Hunter wellies lasted 15 years – and that was 15 years of being on my feet pretty much every day. For that reason I replaced them with another pair of Hunters. 10 years ago, and they’re still going strong.

That is a truly fugly car.

:lol:

Cat Bathing n easy to follow stages:

Simple!

Get out on your bike. Exercise is actually one of the best therapies for depression.

GO TO THE DOCTOR.
GET HELP.

There are a shitload of people who have been where you are, myself included, and have come out the other side.

It’s ******* hard work, but it will happen if you get yourself the help that you need. Honestly.

Good luck, and don’t give up.

Just a thought:

I’m sure that many people, like me, believe that honouring and remembering those that have lost their lives in war, does not necessarily mean that you approve of or agree with the governments that sent them there in the first place. Surely they are two totally separate issues?

The last rodent we had in the house was a rat. It was extremely dead, and spread across most of the kitchen. Apparently a little rat goes a long way.

*looks for “vomit” emoticon*

I’ll lend you my cat for a week or so. That will solve your mouse / rat problem. Of course, you will then have a cat problem….