When you realise that the “slightly different” colour hair dye that you have used is actually a very bright violet, and you have an important meeting with one of the directors at work on Monday.

I’m hoping that he turns out to be either a) colour blind, or b) really blind.

Sleep.

Also, there is not enough seeing-my-Head-of-Department-getting-run-over-by-a-freight-train-in my life. Definitely not enough of that :evil:

TAD – Trent Architecture & Design

I’m still wearing black DCs

Another vote for Rover. I had a diesel 400 that was obscenely fuel efficient, and also the most reliable car I’ve ever owned. Despite the Grandfather image, the 45 and 75 are also remarkably nice places to sit.

Unless you are seriously planning to breed from your dog (or cat, for that matter), you should definitely neuter IMO.

Another vote for Petplan here.

They have always paid out for Basement Cat, plus they will deal directly with the vet if you authorise it, which can save you an awful lot of hassle.

Answering the door one day to find a sawn-off shotgun pointing at me has stuck in my mind somewhat.

It was being wielded by a gentleman who apparently wished to talk with the house-sharer who had moved out the week before, as a matter of some urgency, about some money that was owed…

Ok, I’ll say it. Excessive use of the girlfriend’s clutch can easily cause funny smells and reduction in performance. Leaving it alone for a few hours, preferably overnight is best.

:lol:

It’s a Ford.

The engine light is probably broken.

Bourneville. But not if it’s mine, only if I’m stealing it from my dad.

My God, that takes me back about 30 years!

Brilliant memories though, thanks! :D

My point is that clothing for adults that has Winnie-the-Pooh pictures on definitely doesn’t count as “lounge pants”. Pyjamas is the only suitable description :-)

What is it?

For the record, I am currently looking particularly resplendent in my suave and sophisticated Winnie-the-Pooh “Lounge Pants”

*looks at single grey hair*

*feels smug*

Yes. And a dressing gown.

Not for sleeping in though.

I generally tend to step out of the office, although I have noticed that some farts have a nasty habit of following me back in.

Except for the day after I ate a vindaloo by mistake. I had to go out of the building, I’m sure I saw a couple of pigeons drop out of the sky dead afterwards :oops:

Sorry to read this Tony :(

I think I’d probably go for the surgery option if it was one of mine.

Either way, I’ll be thinking of you.

Is Shibboleth actually a real human being?

10/10 for trolling effort.

Can you get a duvet and 2 pillows in a bivvy bag? Because you can in a tent :D

Squalarones

My dad never ever ever raised a hand to me. In fact, he never even raised his voice to me. Never in a million years would I ever dream of doing so to him.

FWIW, he’s now 68, and if it came to a test of physical strength and / or fitness, he’d still easily win. :D

Actually, I suspect he’d also easily win any test of cunning and / or mental prowess… :oops:

One of my new favourite sayings came courtesy of the OH at the weekend.

On spotting a particularly, er, well, lets say distinctive looking young lady:

“******* hell, you could get an STD just by looking at her!”

Well…

from experiance of owning both…

Cats generally do not slobber all over you (with the exception of Stupid Black Cat Mk II who dribbles like a leaky tap), and when they are sick, they don’t generally produce enough to fill ALL your shoes at once (which was gross).

However.

Dogs do not generally leave dead rats in the kitchen for you to find at six o’clock in the morning. Nor do they scream the house down because they have got themselves stuck to the carpet (Stupid Black Cat Mk II again…)

Swings and roundabouts really :-)

They are both ace.

Define “success”.

It means different things to different people.

Just yaffled half a pizza. Nice.

Must be time to spark up then….

“Cascade”

Oh **** off.

You could still give the Phil Collins question a shot

That’s easy. It’s because you are very odd.

Dammit

What was that book where the chap made all his decisions at the throw of a dice?

The Diceman by Luke Reinhart

How long did you take to decide whether or not to to ask the question?

:D

Rainbow Pot Noodle.

I’m not sure it’ll catch on.

Probably your safest option is to amputate the leg and burn it ASAP.

He’s right.

Assassin first. Then Police Officer

:lol:

Excellent :D

Reported to the Mods – clearly Mighty Mule’s account has been hacked by Michael MacIntyre

That is possibly the most offensive thing anybody has ever said to me :D

Tha packaging on new pliers and / or scissors, that requires the use of pliers and / or scissors to actually get to the pliers and/or scissors that you’ve just bought despite the fact that if you had a working pair of piers and/ or scissors then you wouldn’t have had to buy the new pair of pliers and / or scissors in the first place…