I would strongly suggest you ask her exactly what she wants. It would be terrible if you got the wrong thing, however well meant.

Wide aperture lenses are not just about low ISO, she may well wish to use them to get very shallow depth of field – very fashionable at the moment for pro photographers particularly as people with camera phones etc can’t reproduce this effect. She may feel a couple of wide apertures are way better than multiple cheaper lenses.

Its lovely of you to want to get her stuff, lucky lady to be cared for so much.

If a cat is happy, it will stay with you – for all its life probably. If its not. There is no point in trying to force it to stay – the cat will be unhappy and you will always be on edge waiting for it to leave. Brutal but true.

The more miserable people make a cats life, the more keen it would be to leave – this applies to people who starve their cats before letting them out (shame on you, I always feed mine before they go out – all 4 have always come home so far).

I used to cat sit for someone with 3 pedigree cats that never left the house and they used to be so bored and would try anything to try to get out of the house door. Later when the persons circumstances changed they started letting the cats out and the cats would then queue at the door in the morning, crying to be let out into the garden.

Cats are not toys, they are entitled to have a life too, not to just be something you pick up and play with for an hour after you get home – when the cat has had hours and hours of boredom alone, month after month, year after year.

If you love your cat, do the brave thing even though its hard for you and let it have a life outside of the house.

First flight hints and tips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxtOMsIsezo

Phantom Quadcoper set up and review

I personally know 5 people who went to boarding schools if thats any help.

All of them have had failed or extremely difficult personal relationships. Only 1 of them got as far as managing to marry someone (they divorced, now on 2nd attempt).
4 out of 5 of them have no children.
4 of them are quite unhappy people disappointed in how their lives have turned out.
4 of them believe boarding school and separation from parental families caused social difficulties for them when it came to future partners etc.

They age in range from late 40’s to mid 60’s
They all went to different boarding schools, not the same one.

What shocked me most was the way that the schools solidly discoraged any independent thinking or self motivation. Also the lack of day to day common sense that is missing as they were never exposed to such things in a way people living at home would be.

There is actually a society called ‘Boarding School Survivors’ that provide advice and support for people who find life/relationships after boarding school devastating to deal with.

I think the parents should have been jailed for child cruelty, having personally seen the consequences to the kids even in later life.

I will try to find out more about what is happening. He has spoken to the insurance at least twice and been turned down both times.

Any idea what he should do next if he wants to question the insurance companies position?

Just looked at the old program and I think something to shrink stuff a bit smaller would be better, I only want a smallish window running in my main screen.

I just looked through the email he sent to me last time. He says the insurance company refused to pay out on his car, only the 18 year olds car

“because they [the insurance company] said the accident was my fault, so my car was not covered”.

He showed me his insurance cover note – it definitly had fully comp written on it cos I checked.

I did not see any terms and conditions though. He did not have any with him when he showed me.

All the other cars were queuing to move into the bus lane, so it must still have been in the ‘this is a bus lane’ time period I think. The 18 year old admitted to him at the accident they had pulled into the bus lane before they should have. No witness to this statement though.

The trouble with the ‘bus in a bus lane’ is that in this area you also get taxis, motorbikes etc in bus lanes legally.

No he is not a young driver himself, he is in his late 40’s. He lives in a city so passed his test in later life.

Well as I said, I was surprised it happened as he is generally very concieincous and also takes great care about speed limits etc, thats why its sad – its an abberation. He really is not a careless or casual driver. I suspect being fairly new, he was mostly looking for tall buses. Also I dont know at what point the other car pulled out from down the queue – if they were only a few cars back it could have been after he looked.

I am not making excuses for him – fair dues if he got it wrong, we all make mistakes. He is very very upset about having an accident and I dont mean about just the financial stuff. He is a caring bloke. He is worried about the other driver (mentally, they were not physically injured in any way).

I am just surprised fully comp does not mean fully comp. Am thinking I need to look much harder at terms when I renew my own insurance as I dont want to be caught like this too if something goes wrong.

Ideally I would want to use it on my netbook or to put on a USB stick so I can run stuff on the pcs without taking the boxes etc with me. We have several pcs here on different floors.

Ah the excess is a good point – I do not know. I will ask him. He is on very low pay so this accident (entire wheel had to be replaced cira £400 so far)is a big financial blow to him. Its sad really as he is a very conciousness driver and I am surprised this happened.

Does it make much of a difference was not meant to sound rude, it was just a straight question. I read it back and though it might sound rude.

I think he told them what he told me, he pulled into the new lane and was someone coming up it. His front wing by the tyre is crushed in. I think the front of the 18 year olds wing was damaged.

Does it make much of a difference? I thought the whole point of fully comp was to cover yourself too? I think he is paying over £1000 per year.

I think the prog I used to use was DVDshrink but that was years back.

Sore throat. Endless coughing. Post nasal drip.
After it got to day 15 I sort of lost track but I think it went on at least another week.

Been free of most symptoms for about a week now, but yesterday back to sore throat again. Its not that you feel really terrible, as colds go I have had far worse.. its the span of time that wears you down as you get so fed up of not feeling normal. Makes me appreciate more what the genuinely long term ill must go through, poor sods. I only had a cold.

I enjoyed reading those, made me laugh. Thanks for posting the link.

I saw JB interviewed some years back and thought he seemed a nice person – seems his humour is pretty good too.

I think its interesting on here how many men seem to just assume they will no longer live with their kids.

Not trying to be provocative or unkind in any way, I am just puzzled that the male assumption is the female gets the kids and the bloke leaves the house.

I am also surprised more men do not fight for custody (or living as prime carer) of the children. Why assume the mother wants them more or is indeed the best carer? I know it can be difficult with courts, but until men challenge the situation it will never change – same as it was for suffragettes.

Regardless of the above, I think its very unwise to leave the house until some legal advice has been sought on your own part, regardless of any child situation.

I am female by the way, but believe in equality as much as possible. I also think the childrens views of who they want live with should very much be taken into account.

I think Norad has been up and running at least few weeks this year. They had games and interactive stuff up about Santa for kids to explore.

I dont think they normally do the military thing big time – there have been complaints to them this year about military jets accompanying Santa on an animation. I suspect it was just a bit thoughtless to do that, rather than a policy. I think its really great they provide the santa tracking and games service for children.

Its worth reading about the history of the site as its a very nice and sweet story. They have been replying to children since 1955 and its run by service members familys etc who volunteer their time.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NORAD_Tracks_Santa

http://www.noradsanta.org/
(Norad HQ section gives the history of the site, the rest is fun stuff and tracking for the kids.)

Wow Woodlikesbeer, you do have a lot of respect for other people don’t you. Buying women. Helping your brother in law to feel even more worthless. Glad I am not in your family, where hanging on to money seems to have more value than people.

I don’t know how anyone can say this does not matter.

If I give money to a charity that purports to care for people, especially children, I do not expect that money to be used to develop bombs to blow up children and their parents, nor do I want it spent on supporting alchol and tobacco industries – who are more than happy to exploit youth drinking and worse the enticement of children in the 3rd world into a (short) life time of smoking. Its not like there are a lack of other industries around the world to invest in.

Its deeply immoral and I will never give to this charity again, much as I cease giving to any charity I see exploiting the vulnerable and not very bright by ‘chugging’ in the street.

I don’t know whats happened to so many charities – so many seem motivated by profit, perks and salaries and have lost all sight of their supposed purpose. I guess thats why politicians/MPs seem to be moving into ‘managing’ them – same big talk to the public but with a total lack of morals and lots of pay.

It used to be illegal in this country for working class people not to wear a hat. People were also banned from wearing any fabrics considered ‘above their position in life’.

Maybe the beginning of the end for the hat in Britain was when they stopped fining working class people for not wearing one, so then the move towards choice became available.

I am guessing social pressure was also quite heavily applied between then and more recent times. I can still remember discussions between women about the social repercussions/criticisms of not wearing a hat to weddings.

It would not occur to me to stop a partner going in this particular situation, unless they were doing this constantly to the point of unfairness. Is it a marriage or a prison? She clearly thought you would be ok with it. Now you have done the heavy handed thing and she is (rightly) rebelling.

Make the most of it to ensure you can have a day out on your own or better still, play the decent partner, encourage her to go to her event and arrange a special day out for the 2 of you later in the week/month thats romantic and fun. Also, have some special time with the kids and do a bit of extra bonding with them. Its fun to have a parent just to yourself.

Who would you value the most – the supportive romantic or the sulky ‘do what I tell you’ person?

I have gone through some poor experiences with vets who could have cured things but failed to diagnose properly or act quickly. What I would suggest is getting your collie referred to the nearest Veterinary College if your vet is at all slow or lacking in proactive attitude. On the plus side, I know of several cats and dogs that have survived cancer surgery and have been fine and dandy for many years after. Animal treatment, like human treatment has progressed lots in recent years.

If you need to refer to a veterinary school, your vet should be able to do that for you, though some are very reluctant as they see it as loosing money for themselves.

Re the effectiveness of going to a Vet School – my cat was booked in to be put down at the local vets as they said its illness was untreatable long term and he would die soon. My cat was lying about, no interest in life, clearly distressed, loosing huge amounts of weight. We found out about Langford Veterinary Small Animal Hospital, a part of Bristol University by ourselves – not suggested by our vet.

We were very lucky, our vet agreed to phone them and refer us. Our cat was with the hospital by the same afternoon of the first enquiry.

They had him for a about 4 or 5 days days and diagnosed pododematitis combined with a stomach problem and when we picked him up, you could not tell he was even ill – only 1 week from when he would have been killed. He was still thin, but jumping up on things and trotting about.

He is still on medication every day and would get very sick without it, but there is hope he will recover fully long term as he has a health issue that does resolve but takes ages. Ironically it is not all that rare in cats and although the local vets knew about it, they did not bother to investigate recent treatments for it.

Over 1 year on from nearly being killed he is still happy and normal in himself, no longer in pain, no longer slowly starving to death and to all intents and purposes seems normal in every way when observed.

Since then we have referred to Langford for a couple of issues for another cat. While we were last there, they were operating on a dog who had a tumour on the brain and they were accessing it through the roof of the dogs mouth. Last I heard they fixed the dog and it was doing fine.

If your vet is not doing well, refer to the veterinary schools as soon as you can. Its expensive if you have to pay for it yourself and dont have insurance, but ours gave a quote before any investigations were done so we knew what choices we had.

Jerry, thanks thats the most helpful suggestion so far.

I don’t understand why people think I am not taking this situation seriously. If I did not give a damn I would hardly be asking for advise on how to sort it. As I said, there are other very serious issues involved here that I need to pussyfoot round and which I am not able to discuss. These are decent people under a lot of pressure at the moment.

I am trying to do something about this.
I want to do it in a discreet way, hence asking the police or authorities position on this.

There are reasons I cannot disclose on here why I do not want to stress his troubled family further with heavy wading in – they have enough difficulties in life already, none of which are their fault – sometimes people lives are hard enough.

I suppose his thinking could be going along the lines below. I guess massive ego and deviousness combine here pretty seamlessly so both could collide successfully:

Keep trying to get back in control and if it does not work out immediately, it is vital to be seen to be ‘Suffering’. Suffering keeps you in the public awareness which is good for future plans/intentions.

Twist things to look like you are a victim, not a ruthless criminal – be seen as the unwanted outcast, innocently and heroically trying for redemption even though you hardly did anything wrong. Blame anyone at all, to confuse the public as much as possible. Confusion calls for strong leaders who will point out the correct direction.

People feel sorry for underdogs
People side with underdogs
People like to be given clear direction amid chaos
People who sympathise will gradually influence others to sympathise with me, as used to happen before.

I can get control of the situation again – as I will regain control of the publics belief system in growing numbers and can increasingly lead them in any way I choose – as I did for so many years with my charity and my sport … people love and mindlessly follow a strong leader who speaks with utter self belief. (Reflect on Tony Blair here!)

Whats scary is how his catch phrases have caught on so well in the past and spread so widely. Its so efficient. The number of times I have seen ordinary people quote ‘waste of tax dollars’ like a mantra etc in reference to the drugs investigation. Now we have versions of ‘I am the victim who is punished, others go free and unpunished’ (untrue – careers ruined, fines, distressed families, dead people). But they are strong defined statements said with utter conviction and people just love to be lead, its human nature, it saves thinking things out for themselves. 🙁

I feel so sad that there are still amateur races prepared to encourage him to race with them. Cant help but wonder what sort of people their race organisers are to put a known cheat in with a load of hobby runners and riders.

“But now his high-profile is counting against him in a way that would never happen with other dopers like Ullrich, Riis, Virenque, Pantani, Contador, hell even Landis has almost managed to disappear into obscurity. But that has it’s own edge in that he’s become the scapegoat for the whole sport.”

No he is not the scape goat for the whole sport – other people have been punished for drug taking and indeed, quite a few died due to taking drugs.

He is not disappearing from the media because he cannot stand to loose the attention – his huge ego will not let him accept he has lost.

So every few weeks up he pops with some excuse for his behaviour or maybe an article to make sure he keeps himself in the spotlight. Having been thrown off of an amateur race in the USA in the last few months he is desperate to get himself back in another one however much its clear most people don’t want him. Only a fool would do this at this point in time. If he just backed off for 2 or 3 years and then reappeared he would have done better (scum that he is).

He is a man unable to make reason filled judgements, just self obsessed ego filled ones.

None of my dogs had dentals. However our cats have between them had 4 dentals and all of them were fine. They will give you pain killers for you dog so that it does not suffer after the op.

We found our cats were notably happier almost as soon as they were home as the combination of pain killer and removal of damaged teeth really helped them.

One cat we adopted had to have ALL his teeth removed within 3 weeks of getting him as he was so ill dentally. He went from a cat that just flopped about to being into everything and running about having fun. I felt terrible though before hand about doing such a mutilating operation. Honestly though, you would not think anything bad had happened to him by the day after the op and he eats normal cat food faster than the others.

Its normal to worry about and love your animals, just like you would about any other member of the family. Dont feel silly, its just kindness and love that make you feel worried. The worst thing is not being able to explain things to them, the best thing is that they have no hang ups like we do, so recover in much healthier mental ways from quite severe medical situations.

You are either legally innocent or guilty. There is no in between.

How sad the entire point of the justice system can be undermined by a judge with no understanding of the value of defined legal process to society or individuals.

Right wing labour will use this to take more politics out of the influence of normal every day people.

Look up Chris Boardman the cyclist, he had issues with it and takes replacement hormone. Looks fine on it to me!

Whoever took the photos did intervene. A quiet word in the restaurant and this “playful argument” might have continued at home out of sight indefinitely. Post it in the newspapers and its police and public awareness time. Might be money spinning but its also very effective at stopping such “playfulness”.

Ear to phone – either, whichever is nearer the phone set.

Also left handed with graphics tablet but now right handed with mouse – so useful.

As others have said, your child may be left or right handed for different tasks.

I am right footed, right handed with a tennis racket and scissors and a sewing needle.

Left handed with a pen, painting (small scale), with a spoon (all other cutlery normal). I used to be left handed with a mouse but got so fed up of rearranging work stations for PCs that I changed over to my right. Using a hammer or painting something big like a garage door is done with whatever hand can reach best at that moment.

Mostly I do large movements with my right side and small detailed movements with my left.

The first time I ever did soldering I was better at it than the person teaching me, mostly because of the hand thing as it played into it.

I was lucky, no one ever made any issue about it – which is best as making a big deal out of it is silly, no one makes a fuss about being right handed. There are also loads of left handed people about now as schools and idiot people no longer force a ‘handedness’ on kids. Just let your kid do as he will and dont make a fuss or issue of it, its just natural behaviour and no different to being right handed.

Oh and its total rubbish that left handed people cant write properly or smudge everything. It depends how you hold the pen – if you hold it the same as right handed people but reversed there is no need at all for smudging or awkwardness (we used to write with fountain pens at school for a few terms and I had no issues). I have even had people talking to me when I have been holding a pen saying how weird and messy left handers are, to suddenly stop and look thrown as the did not even notice I was writing with my left hand while they were talking, cos I dont really do anything different to anyone else and they had been expecting some kind of clumsy awkward mess making. More fool them.

Something I found helpful which I chose to do myself when in my teens was to learn to do things with either hand, just for fun. My own choice and its turned out to have benefits. Lots of tasks, like the soldering, benefit from this and I would suggest right handed people should try to be more left handed as being able to use either hand for tasks can be so useful.

Pigface, I don’t watch wildlife programs, so I know nothing of large cat behaviour. I cant cope with watching things being hunted. Ironically I would not have chosen cats as pets because of thier hunting, but they chose our house. I am hugely glad thier hunting seems in such low quantities. I imagine lions working as a group must be interesting. I might try to read up about it, as less gore!

Is it true that cows enter the milking parlour in the same order every time? I have no experience with cows. I only had 8 goats so a bigger heard of cows must be interesting to watch as so much more scope for group interaction.

“Don’t know how cats in groups resolve the territorial issue. ”

I will call the cats in my house the ‘home group’.

From observation the home group will allow some select cats on to their
territory or to pass briefly through without open warfare. Some cats though are not liked by the group. Who is liked or disliked by the home group is not always a unanimous decision but often seems in alignment. Sometimes a cat will express total indifference to an interloper another home cat will dislike. This lack of consensus does not seem to matter to the members of the group.

I have observed a few times than an unliked cat will gradually become surrounded. However in doing this, the home group do not appear as far as I can tell to act in relation to each other – its more individual defence of the home area. So you get my main 3 all sitting or stalking about in the front or rear garden but almost as if the other 2 are not there, not so much working as a pack like dogs might. However the result to the intruder is clearly an issue as he or she is still being stared down by 3 separate enemies, usually from 3 separate fronts. I think it must make the situation difficult to predict as the interloper has potentially 3 different levels of irritation or anger or attack to cope with, as by not working as a group presumably the home cats may get to different stages of defence all at different times. I have not observed anything further than the ‘staring and stalking’ defence as usually an intruder will take cover or move off, often walking with that weird slow space walk to show lack of aggression.

Its quite unusual for an unwelcome cat to enter the home territory, I think because of the numbers issue. The one cat who does openly risk it is huge and very assertive. The home cats I think are not willing to take him on as individuals even though if they acted like a group he would not stand a chance. On the other hand, their not acting in a concerted way probably helps to avoid cats partaking in dangerous or risky fights and probably saves lives and prevent injuries. Risk is higher if you think of individual fights than it would be in a group fight for the attackers. Hence being individual seems to me to prevent some nasty experiences and perhaps shows a wise evolution rather than a mearly uncooperative one.

The 4th cat who is not a fully accepted member of the home group spends less time near the house, so presumably does quite a bit of socialising elsewhere, so he is more likely to play the role of an intruder on someone elses space. This makes his behaviour harder to observe but I have been told by other people that he has cat friends as he has been seen sitting and playing with other cats some distance from the house and a long way beyond the home cats territory.

I find cat behaviour very interesting as I think it is very misunderstood and misrepresented by humans. Animal societies are fascinating – I have been lucky enough as an amateur to observe group behaviours in pigs and goats over periods of years in the past. Goat social structures are very family based and quite complex.