My son Jordan has asphergers. Can only go by my experince. ( also typing briefly as at work)
daigonsed early on at age of 4, when he started nursery.. that was absolute nightmare, way too noisy , he would freak out etc etc..
The school that the nursery was attached too refused to accept Jordan, but as he had a statement of special needs we were trying to getting him intoa nearby school with an austism base attached. Only 1 place free and he didnot get it. we then went to a special needs school ( for severe physical/ mental special needs) and got Jordan duely placed. he spent 1 year there and transformation was fanastic, the school was quiet, staff understanding etc etc.. after one year another place can up at the near by school .. So jordan went there. but went in at a year level behind his peers.
excelled in the austism base area, so much they placed him in mainstream class, but with fall back support in the base should he need it. he did 3 years in mainstream at junior. Then because of boundaries ( we live in worcs with 3 tiers, junior / middle/ high shool) school in Birmingham catchment (primary / secondary school)
Jordan then moved to a new school 1 mile away with a able autistic support..again in main stream, has done 2 years there and he is going to high school next week. again with able autistic support..
all the time in main stream he has 1-2-1 support for about 20 hours ( 1/2 the week) to help keep him on focus etc..
Cant comment on your case, but assuming your son is statmented..school wise , inclusion is the big thing, and touch wood, Jordan has not been picked on for being austistic. But has had a few issues with general bullying. However this was resolved after taking him to tae won doe, because after year of taking the bullying issue, with out telling the teachers, other kids etc, he had enough and pummelled the shite out af the main ring leader ( my proudest day!!)
I know wnat you mean when you say about your fears for social inclusion, ( Jorsdan has only 2 friends that he sees out of school) but 2 is better than none. Jordan himself says he would like more friends but finds it hard , esp when we are over the park and i can see other kids pointing/ taking the pee etc at Jordan and giving him a wide beath.
Just comes dfown to trying to help him master the confisuing social skills that other kids, you and i take for granted. The school should have some form of support , to assist.. not much help at the mo, but the kids are tougher then we give them credit for. Let him go to school and find his feet..
wil be free tomorrow to update , but got to bog off now as well busy..