hmm, my dad shares Junkyard’s view –

as a result I rely completely on my parents financially. I am at uni and have had jobs at different times, but I have seen them more as a valuable and necessary learning experience rather than a way to make money.
What I earn in an entire Summer my dad can earn in a few days. He would much rather me use the time to travel, to learn things, to be healthy, etc. – he will support me as long as I’m doing something ‘worthy’ (an attitude which has led to some problems: I do have a bit of a hang-up about using time wisely). He will often offer things (computers, equipment) that I usually don’t need and so kindly refuse.

My situation probably does make me spoiled in some ways – I don’t know anything of financial hardship. But I’m not demanding material goods off anyone; I really hope I’m not taking advantage, and I think my parents would say so if they ever felt like that.

I could refuse all help from my parents it’s true, but as at the moment I am a student, I really don’t see what it would achieve, other than getting me into debt.. (Obviously when I am bringing in a wage I don’t expect to mooch off my parents then!)

aw, thankyou elf – (that’s what I get for temporarily immersing myself in the virtual mtb world rather than the real one outside) in reality I know have some delightful curves and I have no intention of getting rid of them 🙂

after reading the other women’s weights on this thread I’m feeling distinctly heavy 😯

I am 58kg. I am a woman of average height (but below average dress size: 10) – I am the average mountain biker! 😯

However if you already exercise a lot and eat well and need to shift 5-10kg (like me) then you need to be cleverer, and this is how you do it.

I don’t understand – if you’re in shape and you have a good diet, why are you all overweight?
Is it simply an age thing – has eating whatever you liked in no moderation when you were younger finally caught up with you?
I accept that everybody has different natural body builds – if that 10lbs or whatever is so hard to shift why is that?

I only ask because I am curious and would like to know how many years I have left before I am only allowed to have my favourite foods (cheese, chocolate, cake, chinese) once a week for the rest of my life ❗

I paid to watch transformers 2, (can’t remember why either) knowing it would be truly awful.. one of the only films I’ve ever considered walking out on.

other than that I sometimes mildly like rubbish movies – National Treasure and Van Helsing being two prime examples 🙂

I remember with nostalgia my first introduction to motorised biking… obligatory speech went something along the lines of ‘if you do anything but sit still and straight we will crash and we will die’. 😯

Great fun, though I couldn’t drive yet so I didn’t have the sense of the road (and change in speed limits) which would have proved useful..
No particularly scary bits, apart from the time waiting at a roundabout – I wasn’t quite paying attention when it was our go and almost dropped off the back of the bike into the car behind us 😳

it’s got far too much flavouring! a horrible flat gloopy taste that rolls around in your mouth even though you desperately try to keep it from touching your tongue 👿

Was down in London for a few days earlier this week. I really really missed being able to drink water straight from the tap 🙁

Nothing concrete. I am ill in my bed eating what’s left of the chocolate I bought for myself, after he ate half of it..

And even though I am ill I spent yesterday driving him to see an old Discovery for his project, and I will spend tonight driving him to Arbroath for his welding course so he can fix his current Landy..

that is love and it’s costing me petrol money!

Another one for ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ – I’m not much of a reader (short attention span) but it was properly awesome 😉 Also agree on persevering with ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin’, but I actually quite liked it from the start..

Everything else I’ve read is either probably considered a classic or will be writings on the New York school/abstract expressionism or Zen Buddhism.. (Zen in the Art of Archery is quite good). Glad I was obliged to read One Hundred Years of Solitude because it has one of the best endings to a book I’ve ever read, and The Naked Ape is good for bed-time reading

passport, wallet, camera.

I have developed that female ability to persuade members of the opposite sex I have no practical skills whatsoever and then gallantly step in to my aid. This comes in handy when I am faced with a bike that needs fixing or a climbing rope that needs knotted – but I have not really learned much for myself..

I also am excellent at being cold and ‘aloof’, but I quite like this 🙂

In fact, few women seem to stick around for all that long, sadly.

Have been thinking about this – and whilst some of the banter can be off-putting, I would guess misogyny is not really one of the reasons you don’t find as many female regulars as you might like.

I’m sure that since stereotypically women aren’t as ‘hardcore’ as men when it comes to sporting (or most) activities, this results in often intermittent interest – in both actual biking and discussing bikes.

maybe women have less time to spend on internet forums, maybe their work doesn’t permit (or offer sneaky opportunities to) browsing the internet all day – or perhaps their internet browsing time is spent on other things (like buying bras and panties 🙂 )

I myself do not lurk as much as I used to – because I finally realised that reading through STW takes up a grotesque amount of time – that I need to spend on other things 🙁

My experience of depression is that I was never sure if I was depressed or not. I wrecked my sleeping patterns, was bulimic, overdosed, emotionally hurt people, and was sometimes violent, but I was never sure if I was depressed or if I was somehow maybe in control and I could just stop if I really wanted to.

Whenever I went to talk to health specialists, I would appear very much in control and it just became a merry-go-round for a few years with me being very upset and not getting any help about it. I tried a mixture of drugs, NHS CBT, and private counselling.

Then I got kicked out of Uni and was told that I wasn’t allowed back until I could prove I was healthy (no pressure there then!)

One particular counsellor properly broke me in one of her sessions and that was what finally convinced me that the situation might be more serious than I had first thought – and I eventually managed to get one-to-one excellent counselling that lasted for 18 months or so.

At the moment I feel okay and cope with life. I have no particular strategy apart from trying not to be too hard on myself and keeping active (mentally more than physically), but I couldn’t say anything much helped when I was depressed. And certainly activities like biking just annoyed me because I already hated myself and consequently everything I had once enjoyed. It helps that my environment has changed and I have friends who have dealt with their own depression, but again, didn’t do much for me until after I had ‘recovered’.

I realise that what I’ve written sounds downbeat and pretty harsh, but that’s how I feel when I recall such memories. Having not experienced anyone else’s depression I am guessing that everyone has their own strategies and everyone will have their own story. I wish the best to anyone suffering from it, and their loved ones as well.

I'm intrigued.. what uni is this? I don't think I've ever seen anyone wearing them in real life.

thank you for all the sound advice. I think I'll take the 'leave it for now' route. I will not get rid of the bike – out of all my physical possessions in this world, it is probably the thing I'd feel most keenly if I lost it. At the moment I can't get the motivation to even bike up to the hills at the back of Dundee, let alone drive anywhere for it. The street outside my house is as far as I'm going to take it for now 🙁

Road riding is something I'd love a go of, (I still love using my exercise bike) but probably only if there were suddenly no cars on the road!

My bike signifies a lot of love and hurt for me, which I don't think is helping the situation at all, so I'm going to just leave it for a while and concentrate on arty things and hillwalking, and hopefully the bike will come out sooner or later, when I feel proper ready.

Many thanks 🙂

I've been out with people on social rides before – and guess what, I STILL held them back!

I've spent the last year bimbling along by myself. I have enjoyed it and I consciously try not to put pressure on myself to 'perform' to anything in particular. I do not analyse each ride and think about what I could have done better! 🙂 But if at the end of the year I don't feel like I've progressed that makes me very downhearted.

I do like the idea of tagging along with some of the Edinburgh crowd (not wednesdays unfortunately because I live in Dundee), but it might have to be later on, out of the blue. Maybe, like people say, I will just suddenly fancy it.

Funnily enough MrNutt I did have a quick street spin on my msisle t'other day and I loved it – just practising balancing makes me smile. It does get to me that if I obviously enjoy something so simple about the bike why can't I get motivated to do anything bigger

I put pressure on myself to go out biking because the most enjoyment I get out of biking is feeling myself progress. Yes, I enjoy the actual experience and the company, but I have a history of placing high value on time spent doing an activity – therefore I must progress, learn, not waste it, etc.
If it take on a task or activity I want to meet a certain self-set standard, and at the moment i'm not there.

I have tried meeting up with different people. It has always been very pleasant but there has never been a proper connection, hence they tend to be one-offs. I used to have a boy who would drag me out, which is half the battle for me.

I think perhaps at this moment in time it is more important for me to be socially healthy and try let go of all this guilt I have (I hate seeing time and money spent for what seems to have been no real outcome). I intend on joining the uni hillwalking club this year, which I'm sure I'll enjoy – one of my close friends is signing up too, and I'l be finally taking advantage my close proximity to Scotland's wonderful hills 🙂

druidh – thanks for the offer, but I've been warned off by Kit 😉 (Another problem I have is that everyone is much better than I am!)

just come back from switzerland – where it was great to see so many women on bikes (road and mtb).

Unfortunately I love shoes and dresses as I do good outdoor kit (though it's more the clothing. I can't get excited about buying a new chain set!), so it's rather expensive..

Sadly at the moment I don't feel like biking at all, so I don't beat anyone up (or down) hills 🙁

A book about Jasper Johns and his use of the colour grey..
I often go for many months without reading a book (non-uni), which is a shame. Last novel I read was The Count of Monte Cristo, – soap-opera vengeance cloaked in Parisian riches – truly awesome 🙂

My goodness, I must have been a heartless child – couldn't be bothered with soft toys and kicked them all out of the bed!

My brother had about four of the same Mothercare rabbits over his childhood, but he accepted replacements no bother – must have been unusually pragmatic.. that or he had no sense of loyalty 🙄

Parents sold the family house recently (Edinburgh)- they were lucky and got a very quick sale, and for well above the valuation, but found it difficult to find any suitable properties to buy. Months later and many of the properties they looked at are still on the market, many now for much lower fixed prices..

I imagine my ability to carry out emergency manoeuvres is hampered more by the fact that I've never come across such a situation whilst driving. FWIW I can't put the clutch down if I move the seat back by two notches, so I can't be in that ridiculous a position..

pah, I have the seat almost as close up to the steering wheel as it can go. that's just what feels comfortable – live with it!

and yes, a lot of women drivers just plain don't notice hazards on the road; and then there's a lot of men who just completely disregard..

so we're all rubbish, we're all ugly, and we're all doomed

aww, I like mastiles_fanylion's suggestion – flowers from a complete stranger would brighten my day, and I don't even like flowers.

Can't you just smile nicely at her – and judging by her response, (slow down to talk or speed away 'cause you're scary looking) follow on from there?

Soz to resurrect a thread, but this is the same dilemma I was faced with a few days ago..
though I was silly and did both (yesterday) – silly because I'm not at all fit 🙁

Consequently I took almost 2.5 hours to do Cli-machx (I got lost, which resulted in tears of frustration and a lot of extra climbing) and was completely underwhelmed by the descent. (I'm not very good so I had to walk parts of it, which I don't mind, but it was odd seeing as the rest of the singletrack had been so simple)

And because I was knacked from all the climbing, I took the whole 3 hours to do MBR.. I must say the first half of it is awesome fun. but then there's just lots and lots of climbing up fire roads. and again, I felt the final descents just weren't worth it. (for a beginner anyway. I'm guessing if you're a local etc. they'll be much more fun)

I know I'm leaving myself open for ridicule but I accept fault for doing the two in the one day when I have such a low level of fitness to begin with!

And where were all the jumps and big swooping berms?

I had planned to do Llandegla as well as a nice 'warm down' and then decided I was too tired and sore to attempt it today.. So I have an excuse to go back to Wales (lovely place) later at some point 🙂

It's windy and very very cold. I'm always cold living in Scotland 🙁

sfb – I'm not talking about people who are completely devoid of any empathy. Just personally speaking, I have often found it hard to empathise with people in particular situations – I don't know why but I couldn't understand their position and would often become impatient with them. It has taken experience and much practice to try and become more understanding – I did this in order so that I might be 'warmer' with people. I can't give someone a hug to someone in need unless I can try empathise with them or else that hug is cold, awkward and just plain false. (if that makes sense)

but I acknowledge I will never be a natural

I believe you can alter your behaviour certainly – though I imagine it to be a very rare thing to completely reverse your basic personality traits like extroversion etc,

Over the past few years I have become much more patient with myself and others. Doesn't sound major but it took a lot of hard work and setbacks. I feel my values have changed and I feel much better for it. But it's a constant adjustment.

I don't see why this shouldn't apply to other patterns of behaviour – whether it be a tendency to tell lies, lack of empathy or aggressiveness. but it takes a lot of commitment to carry out such changes.

As far as fundamental personality traits (extroversion, openess, agreeableness etc.) are concerned, I think one can move along the spectrum to a degree, but will probably always feel closer to one extreme.

love the way you've used the word 'current' there MD..

and to the OP – you're a man who doesn't have any close female friends – that doesn't seem unusual to me.

A lot of women are incredibly irritating – their voices are often more grating imo. I'm sure there must be some men out there who annoy you though, so I imagine you're just a tad unsociable.

Red is the colour of blood because blood is red… You are red faced because your face has actually gone red..

Many thanks to the posters above who have listed references; I will hunt them out for sure – though I should point out that this is not for an essay, but I am to produce images that are meant to illustrate: how I feel on certain 'colour days'..

I think the first difficulty I have is thinking of emotions that I feel so keenly as to be able to put colour to them… Violent white (my colour for anger) is my starting point 🙂

But do you associate an emotion with a particular colour?
For example, Is guilt always one colour or does anxiety often take on a certain shade or hue?

Ho hum – I used to have stronger colour associations when suffering from anxiety/depression.
Depression was also grey, black was an anger that had control over me, and white was the small bright spark when I was happy.
I remember some anxiety attacks where I didn't want to look anything for fear of being over-stimulated – there were flashes of red.

But I'm rather reluctant to go too deep into these emotions from the past.. and I'm told I'm such a calm person these days

Hmm, I think I'm meant to come up with something more sophisticated – though our inspiration is meant to be a Dr. Suess piece:

Green days. Deep deep in the sea.
Cool and quite fish. That's me.

On purple days I'm sad.
I groan.
I drag my tail.
I walk alone.

Personally I'm finding it difficult to think of an emotion like anger say, and associate a colour with it. Usually I just get blurred tunnel vision if anything.. 😐

hmmm, people form their values from all sorts of influences.. and I just don't think books have been as big a part of that as other aspects of my life – life experiences, people, places I have been to etc.

I do wonder if I have misunderstood the question:
Perhaps subconsciously all the books I read build up to a drip-drip effect and manage to penetrate my thick skull, but I cannot remember one piece of fiction that has such an effect as to 'blow me away' or significantly reassess my view of the world. – I think that it is incredibly rare to suddenly just change values etc. through one event.

Equally it might just be because I'm very young and haven't had the pleasure of coming across a book (though I have read a number of those already mentioned) that will change my thoughts forever 🙂

fresh clean sheets
car journeys
hot showers after biking
tub of ice cream
dressing up and looking pretty
the light at dusk and dawn

Heh, well I'm certainly not disputing that we learn things from books – but I guess I haven't read anything that has shaped my views on life to such a degree that I can remember them 😐

finish my degree
learn how to ski/snowboard
go scuba diving
go paragliding
learn how to make a quilt
learn a language
take lots of classes in drawing, painting and photography

then travel lots of places til I find the perfect spot to built my house -with mountains behind, an indoor swimming pool, and a pump track out back for starters

I too find it difficult to comprehend this idea that a book can have enough influence on someone to cause them to change their outlook on life.. (I guess I haven't read the right books yet)

I think the one book that has changed the pattern of my thinking was a self-help book on relationships… 😕