I have mixed feelings about the idea of “graded exercise therapy” for CFS. In some ways I think it might be helpful, but I think in order for it to help, you have to adjust what your expectations of exercise are.

Like you Daisy I was desperate to get back to training. I have however had to accept that I won’t be able to train heavily for anything for maybe at least another year or so. I tried to do a Couch to 5k, but overdid it when I got to the stage where I was running for longer and had a relapse and the fatigue came back the same as how you describe it. I also made a decision that work would be my main priority, I did not want to end up on benefits as that whole system seems like a nightmare and even if you really need the help you don’t seem to get it. I am self employed/contractor as well, so having a good supply of work is essential.

I guess after I made the decision that I would prioritise finding a level of work that was comfortable for me and did not cause undue fatigue, I started to be comfortable with working on that and then could add bits if I was able to. The priorities might be different for you, but it’s important to work out what comes first, and the other bits are “nice to have”.

Could you afford to get any help with cleaning and housework while you’re feeling a bit pants, or have a dog walker a couple of days a week?

jamj1974

As a nation if we send people to war we should look after them when they return. It shouldn’t be left to charities. I would much rather we hadn’t sent troops into battle as not only do I disagree with the justification, I disagree with the action.

You are not on your own OP the name of the charity grates with me too and I share bencoopers view on the chain of logic which is so faulty.

^^^THIS^^^

Sorry to hear that :(

I was diagnosed with Post-Viral Fatigue about 13 months ago following a third chest infection in as many months. I was advised it might be 12-18 months before I was back to full functioning. It’s been a series of peaks and troughs really. I reckon I’m back at around 75% of where I was – at least I can ride my bike again, but I cannot do all day rides or anything that involves lots of hills. If I overdo it, I will relapse. I also no longer tolerate alcohol very well, which is a bit of a bummer!

I think different things will work for different people. Accepting you need more rest than the “average” individual, pacing yourself and not putting lots of pressure on yourself helps psychologically. Diet and vitamins have helped for me, along with using D-ribose after I read up about mitochondrial dysfunction in chronic fatigue and the things that could alleviate it. They have not been a cure, but I do find I function better with the supplements than without, along with ensuring a good diet and enough sleep.

Stress will trigger a relapse, especially if I start to stress out about what I “should” be doing that I am not doing.

Republicans.

porridge with chia seeds, blueberries and a spoonful of peanut butter. Am proud of myself because I’ve weaned myself off putting honey on it!

My Heinz 57 bull terrier-thing-dog has lost 10kg. Don’t think he’s got long left now.

Poor thing, sorry to hear that :(

When our Labrador become fat as a barrel, the vet immediately asked “Have you been feeding her Baker’s Complete?”

The list of ingredients in that are a bit scary, colours, additives, added sugar….:-O

I said he likes grapes; that does not mean that I give them to him!

They both have a keen eye on the blackberries at the moment and are eagerly awaiting this years harvest; as they have finished off all the apples they can get by shaking the trees.

Ahh, you see mine won’t eat fruit apart from grapes. He will scavenge the occasional dropped ice cream or sandwich crust in the park though. If dogs have access to things they can scavenge, of course they will. As stated above, mine will steal food at home if he can get to it so it’s up to us to ensure he can’t get to things in the kitchen. Mostly if people want to give him treats in the park, they will ask before doing so, and I’ll usually say yes unless it’s something that’s totally unsuitable, like if it contains bones he could choke on. (KFC leftovers therefore a no-no).

What MIL feeds her dog is high-carb, high fat (bowls of milk, buttered toast, buttered potato, chips from the chippy, for example). Coupled with not getting sufficient exercise, that’s why the dog is well overweight, and I’d argue that the vast majority of that is within her control, even if the dog occasionally finds bits and pieces on the pavement or whatever.

My student days would say otherwise

LOL

Agreed it’s not easy, our dog was getting a bit overweight at one point and it took him nearly a year to lose the 3 kilos the vet said he needed to drop with him getting on a bit. Admittedly he’s a bigger dog so it doesn’t show on him so much. But we agreed that it was more important for him to be healthy in his older years (and for us to avoid massive vet bills) than it was for him to have loads of treats and leftovers.

MIL also too scared of other dogs to allow hers to walk off-lead, which also means she doesn’t get to run around and burn it off as much.

Well my dog only eats what he gets at home, unless you count him eating grass when he’s out on a walk, but last time I checked grass was not going to make anyone fat….

He will steal food off the kitchen side if he can get to it, so if we leave it within dog reach then it’s our fault!

Pets can hardly wander off to McDonalds to buy a Big Mac with their pocket money now can they?

You and your wife have my sympathies. I am self-employed and did a lot of work for a client in April this year. She accepted the quote, paid the deposit, then told me at the end she could not afford to pay the rest as she hadn’t made enough money from advertising in the rag she was publishing to pay my fees (and those of the graphic designer she engaged). She also reneged on a three month contract and shrugged and told me to “take her to court”.

Obviously unlike with your situation there was no concrete proof that she never intended to pay. The only evidence I have was from Facebook where she put pictures up of her two year-old’s very expensive birthday party and presents, which contradicted her assertion that she had no money, but no proof she paid for it all, might have been grandparents or something.

It was a considerable amount of money and it nearly did fold my business as I had only just started. If I hadn’t been working part time to pay my bills back then I would have been in a right mess.

Small claims court going through but I don’t hold much hope, especially if she closes down her limited company to avoid paying, which I expect she will do if she thinks she will lose.

Your local MIND may have an employment service that you can self-refer to, for help with job retention when you have mental health difficulties, through coaching, advice and working with your employer to help you stay in your job.

Re your ex, sounds very much to me like she has PND. Paranoia about the baby/health etc, not letting anyone else do anything, and feeling unhappy with everything in life are definitely symptoms.

Assume the daughter has financial Power of Attorney?

If not, then the methods by which she has obtained this money should come into question, as no bank should be permitting any changes to a bank account (including withdrawals) to anyone who does not have POA. You can get a Disclosure of Authority but that allows you to access information only.

Personally I found calorie counting apps to have a downside. Tendency to become obsessive about it, coupled with the number of people on there who clearly have disordered eating. The problem also with very calorie-restricted diets is that once you’ve lost the weight, you start eating more “normally” and then you will put it back on again. Changing the type of food you eat is as important as things like sensible portion sizes. It takes around 2-4 weeks for your tastebuds to get used to eating food with less sugar/salt, for example. Calories are not all equal, and we process energy from different foods in a different way. For example, we now know that fructose is metabolised in the liver, not by the digestive system.

Fingers crossed that your luck improves and you’re able to stick to it!

I’m a freelance writer/editor/proofreader and occasional contractor if the freelance work dries up. Decent day rates and much less of the office politics rubbish that you have to deal with when you’re an employee. Currently I’m on a contract proofing/copy editing for a commercial printer and publisher, it’s pretty stress free, but I am also busy with my freelance clients so it’s a bit manic at the mo. But you have to take the work when you can.

Don’t regret quitting wage slavery one bit. I’ve been skint at times though, luckily partner has been supportive. I have had a couple of clients stiff me too, so protect yourself if you go freelance, I don’t take work from anyone I don’t know and trust unless they pay a hefty deposit up front these days.

Writing is not for the faint hearted either, you put your opinions out there and there will always be someone who doesn’t like what you write and will hound you through every available channel to tell you so. You need a pretty thick skin.

Well done on getting out of something that doesn’t make you happy.

It is totally inconsiderate to leave your dogs outside barking at all hours. Even as a dog owner, I would report this as a noise nuisance if it kept happening and the owners refused to take any action. It’s bang out of order.

My neighbour’s dog didn’t settle after they moved in and she whined constantly when she was left alone, poor thing. Like binners, I work from home a lot, so it drove me bonkers. They ended up having the dog go to a pet sitter during the day so she wasn’t left on her own, it can’t be good for a dog to be in that much distress surely. They have told me they intend to start getting her accustomed to being alone in the house again but only for short periods to start with thank goodness and I am to tell them if she is very noisy.

Adapt one and use it to enter a Red Bull soapbox race?

Around here in the last year I’ve noticed a big increase in people having children. Including both my neighbours. Oh the joys. In my immediate vicinity I chalk it up to people trying to fill the void left in their home when their dog dies, or they are substitute dogs for people who can’t/won’t or don’t want dogs.

konabunny – Member
a cross Rottweiler sounds pretty dangerous to me

He’s crossed with a Labrador. He could be a dangerous dog, if he had been raised to be one, as most dogs could be. However, it is not a breed that is prohibited under the DDA. People think of Rotties as being that sort of dog, a bit like staffies, but it’s the owners that are the problem, not the dogs. Unfortunately “hard-looking” dogs tend to attract exactly the sort of owners they shouldn’t have.

I have a Rottweiler cross dog, and it really gets my goat when people come up to me in the park and feel the need to inform me that I have a “dangerous dog” or an “illegal breed”. People really don’t know their stuff when it comes to dogs and the law, so I get why the OP was skeptical about the stats.

Personally, I’d rather the owners were put down.

Sheesh, I’ve contracted in NHS professional services and there were some folk who seemed to make a career out of abusing sick leave because they’d gone out and got hammered on the weekend etc, and nothing seemed to happen to them. Yours are genuine, not to mention having had sickness in your family as well.

Having occupational health on your side will help. I was seriously ill last year and having occy health back me up was a big factor in my then employer allowing me a phased return. They were saying that unless I came back full time straight away they were going to go through capability, but after the OH assessment they suddenly changed their minds and went with their recommendations.

Hopefully it’s just a procedural thing and they will see you’re not taking the proverbial.

Current place I am contracting in has no showers for cyclists and the coffee is only instant. For shame. Don’t they know that editors need caffeine to function effectively.

Even if it doesn’t show on X-ray, they may still refer you for bone scan to make sure. It was well cool seeing fluorescent bones!

I’m not a parent either, but I do see my friends who are getting frustrated by grandparents either buying too much tat or buying stuff they think is inappropriate. As an auntie and godparent I am probably guilty of spoiling my friends’ kids – it’s kinda part of the deal! I get to buy funky stuff from Metallimonsters, my friends’ kiddos are the best dressed kids in town. No pink princesses here, my god-daughter was in a black and white skull print dress on her first birthday with stripy tights. Her metalhead parents loved it, the grandparents not so much…..

Vast quantities of tat = clutter in the house = housework/keeping tidy is more difficult. When you work, as most of my friends do, I can see how that is an annoyance. Keeping all the “lovely gifts” at Grandparent Towers for when grandkids visit can be presented as a good thing – they’ll have different toys/books there, so they won’t be as bored. I remember going to my grandparents and it being like having new toys because I hadn’t played with the ones there in ages. Also, it meant my parents didn’t have to pack loads of stuff for me because they knew I had things there.

Broke mine in 2013 after falling off my road bike. I didn’t get a pot, I got a splint. As docrobster says, it doesn’t always show up on the xrays right away. I went back for the 2-week one and it showed a fracture, but they said there was no point putting a pot on it by then, that the splint would do the job. So you won’t always have to have a pot. I never got one on my elbow when I broke that either, they said it wouldn’t heal right if it was immobilised.

It eventually healed, but it took a loooong time to feel stable again. I had pain in it whenever I put weight on that hand for about a year.

Maybe that woman had a binge eating disorder or bulimia. That comment could have pushed her over the edge.

There ARE conditions that cause you to put on weight more easily/make it harder to lose weight, particularly if you’re female. Medications can do that too – either triggering increased appetite, or slowing the metabolism.

Thyroid disorders
Coeliac disease (and some other autoimmune conditions)
Polycystic ovary syndrome
Diabetes
Endometriosis

Steroid medication
Contraceptives
Hormone replacement therapy
Antidepressants

To name but a few.

Yes, MUCH of the obesity we see is down to eating too much/wrong food and not being active enough. But not every single obese person falls into the category of lazy fat pie-munching slob.

In case you didn’t notice, obesity is more of a problem for the poor. Because junk food is cheap, and fruit and vegetables and healthy foods are less cheap. If the fat haters on here feel that strongly about preventing obesity, instead of pointing the finger, why don’t you go volunteer to give cooking classes to poorer families and educate them about food, or give your time to community gardens to help them access fresh fruit and veg. You know, do something constructive about the problem instead of pointing the finger at folk.

Something should indeed be done about the cost of family holidays in the actual school holidays.

I want to go on holiday when there are few, if any, kids around. If the holidays stay this expensive in the holidays, parents will continue to take their kids out of school to go on holiday, and therefore, at the times that I want to go on a peaceful, kid free one!

Unfortunately, it does darcy.

Holiday Inn in London – refunded and free drinks vouchers due to fire alarm malfunction, went off several times during the night and early morning.

Holiday Inn express – was assured that all the breakfast items were gluten free except the toast and pastries. Sausages weren’t, and I got sick. Part refund on the room given.

Travelodge – kept awake half the night thanks to screaming baby/toddler in next room, they couldn’t move us as it was full (Download festival). 1 night taken off our bill.

Best of luck Houns.

I do understand what some people are saying about it not being reversible, but having a kid is not reversible either and I think people forget that sometimes. Once you are a parent, you are responsible for that child. I know some walk away, but they might still get an angry adult on their doorstep one day, and more than likely, the CSA will tap your bank account every month whether you wanted anything to do with that child or not. Despite all the precautions I take, I could get pregnant tomorrow. I still have the choice about not going through with it. A man does not have that choice.

In the end, the kids suffer from having a parent who doesn’t really want to be a parent, and they are the innocent ones. My mum was an oops baby, conceived to try and save a failing marriage/reign in a straying husband, and it didn’t work. The emotional scars left from that situation are many.

+1 for Cougar’s post from me too.

As a 32 year old female, I can’t get a tubal litigation. So speaking from experience as a childfree woman, yes, it is difficult. But the “aww, but you’ll change your mind” bingo gets chucked at women probably more than it does men, because we are seen as being more emotionally volatile and subject to the whims of our biology. My GP was shocked when I talked to her about sterilisation and I hadn’t had any children. I was tempted to ask her which rock she’d been living under the past 20 years, and did she know how many people were choosing not to have children these days?

However, fortunately for me, I can take pills/shots/have an implant to have control over my own fertility (or, preferably, lack of it). Men can be subjected to “the oops” and therefore, for a childfree man who wishes to remain so and have an active sex life, whether inside a committed relationship or casually, or whatever floats your boat, the only way to make damn sure of it is to have the snip. There are women out there who will use a guy as a sperm donor and then sting them for child support 9 months later, and there are women who change their minds and either engage on a long and tiresome project to bring their reluctant partner around to the idea of having a child, or just go for the “oops” option and assume that “he’ll love it when it gets here”.

If you’ve had the snip, then you won’t get the long and tiresome “babies are great” project because you don’t have the capability. Therefore, she will go away and find someone else to produce a baby with. If a one night stand turns up 9 months later with a baby, well, the joke’s on her and she needs to go on Jezza Kyle for a DNA test. And the oops option, unless for some unlikely reason the snip didn’t work, or grows back together, is also not going to happen.

So yes, I absolutely understand why the OP would want to have the snip done.

Last time I looked retirement age was 65 and being blind doesn’t stop you working. I have worked with visually impaired people,cancer sufferers and survivors,amputees,epileptics,wheelchair users ,stroke victims, heart attack victims etc at nearly all of my workplaces.

I’m genuinely pleased to hear you have Nick, because plenty of workplaces still do discriminate, and if you put down a serious health condition or disability on your application form, you won’t even get an interview. They say that stuff is anonymous – it isn’t. And lets not go there for people who have a mental health condition. Plenty of people are “managed out” of their jobs who are ill, and this affects the mentally ill quite a lot more. So the workplace doesn’t want you, but neither does the state want to support you.

Bottom line is, most workplaces are run along the lines of ensuring maximum profitability, which means a low cost operating model. Adaptations for people with disabilities or illnesses cost money. The Access to Work fund has been cut, and it’s difficult to get anything from it, so there is little incentive for employers to remove barriers to work. Some, of course, are great, and employees are able to return to work after serious illnesses, accidents or injuries, and they do take on people with disabilities and health conditions. But many won’t even consider it, because they think you will just be an absentee sick note.

Override do indeed have a group. It’s on FB or you can contact Jacqui Rescorle Jacquie@over-ride.co.uk

Not been out with them yet myself due to current health problems but as soon as I’m fit enough I hope to give one of their rides a go.

Hmm not a rave review then. I had heard they were not wonderful in terms of feeling every lump and bump in the road….

Cheesy chips – ooerr!

Also, Udis gluten free came to my work today and I got 2 packs of GF pop tarts for £1 charity donation. I haven’t had a pop tart in a long time…..totally unhealthy but today I don’t care.

footflaps, there is some evidence to suggest that some people who are mentally ill do just have a chemical imbalance and actually the anti-ds correct it.

Vitamin and mineral deficiencies can cause depression as well especially B12 and vit D so it’s worth getting tested if you do see the GP with depression symptoms.

I don’t take mental health lightly at all. I just believe too many are too keen not to solve the underlying issues.

If you know anyone who can fix my underlying issues instead of patching over it with anti-depressants and CBT, send ’em my way.

Unfortunately that’s the standard course of treatment these days. Anti-depressants have kept me functional for years now, if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t be holding down a job, or anything else. Yes, I am dependent on them, I can’t come off them, but what’s the alternative? Living my life paralysed by depression and anxiety? At least I can live a relatively normal existence and I’m glad my doctor gave me them, because God knows I can’t get any psychotherapy or whatever else to help me resolve the underlying stuff, despite wanting to. I had PTSD as a kid and have had multiple mental health episodes since.

I cannot get the help I need, because the NHS either puts you into the “easy to treat” box and sends you off for CBT (which isn’t suitable for everyone despite being touted as the panacea for all ills, by the way) or, you are in the situation where you have tried to off yourself and are in danger of being sectioned, only then will you get help.

I may just be unlucky – the NHS is after all a postcode lottery and in no way do I suggest the OP shouldn’t go to their GP – mine has been very helpful and is as frustrated as me that I cannot get any treatment beyond anti-depressants. There are also plenty of voluntary organisations around – I have found SANE very helpful, I use their forum, and my local MIND group is pretty active. But none of those things actually fix anything.

Lol Jamie, that did get my tentacles out….just annoys me the number of people on here who judge people for their eating habits, that whole attaching morals to food thing.

“Good” equals eating less, counting calories, depriving self, being hungry means you are self controlled, have willpower etc.

“Bad” equals responding to your body’s hunger instead of mastering it with your mind, people who eat when they feel like eating are lazy, undisciplined, and have no self control, can’t put up with a bit of discomfort, etc.

I realise that most people who have this mindset won’t change it, but it is exactly that mindset that drives people to eating disorders and a poor relationship with food and their bodies.

Sure, I’ll vote conservative. Over my cold, dead body!