Wow, I didn’t expect such a large and varied response!
For clarity, it’s me that’s the introvert… Although her mum is too and she also shows strong tendencies!
We also don’t yet live together.
As I mentioned usually she is pretty good and our relationship has grown from ‘I don’t care who you are, I don’t want my mum to have a boyfriend’ through the biological father fuelled ‘you’re not my dad, I don’t need to do anything you say’ to cuddles on the sofa discussing the days activities.
Her mum and dad split quite acrimoniously six years ago, and MrsLerk has more or less been responsible for her care as a lone parent – she will gladly admit that she has at times given in to behaviour for an easy life and also cut a lot of slack due to the emotional trauma of the split.
We have been aware of certain comments/ideas which have been planted by him during time spent at his house and she is suffering from a bit of internal turmoil, not wanting to upset him.
I have spoken to her to confirm that I won’t replace him and point out how much happier her mum is now.
I have been encouraging her to use her bike more (bought her a new one of better quality for her birthday last year) but it has taken a long time to get her comfortable with the idea of doing something without her mum, who is unwilling/able to ride one.
Sounds like I’ll have a few years of bike rides and tinkering in the workshop to come!