I got jumped outside the pub by three guys the other night but I still managed to knock one out.

Not the best time for a w@nk I suppose, but what the hell…..

Q.How many people with senile dementia does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. To get to the other side

crikey – Member
Coupon is Glaswegian slang for face and floor means flour, hence: the consumption of a sandwich made of the aforementioned bread is likely to leave ones face somewhat besmirched with flour

I couldn't have put it better myself. Indeed- I didn't….

Apparantly there a dodgy batch doing the rounds just now which has been cut with hovis. Police are searching for a rogue baker with a grudge against Asda

Great movie. Jennifer Connelly rocks

Lovely jubbly. Morrison farmhouse loafs are good too. You end up with your entire coupon covered in floor after scoffing a sarnie made from that stuff. Roast ham & piccalily 😛

I often get this on paths around the town which are designated for cycling and walking and old codgers with dogs won't move, basically forcing me onto the edge of the cliff sometimes. I'm worried one of them will give me a shove one of these days and then it'll be curtains. Plus there's quite a lot of dodgy, minker gypo types there too.
Same as you though, I always slow right down and call ahead and don't speed up again until I'm well passed, even if their dog is on a lead.

Interesting thread,
Me- just turned 36. Seems average- never expected that. Gentleman/scholar/acrobat

Done Jack ship. No exercise for 4 days. Starting to wobble

Right- I know this sounds minging but it works.
1/2" piece of ginger grated or chopped
2 cloves of garlic crushed
Juice of 1 lemon + some grated rind
1 Tablespoon honey

Boil up with 1/2 pint of water and drink it

And why shouldn't you like Husker Du?

Your absolutely right- you should like them!

Now you see- if all the teachers had 4x4s like the mums do……..

Listening to Husker Du just now- brilliant

When working nightshift it's adviseable to avoid caffiene for the last 6 hours of your shift. Brandy however……

When I was younger, back in '85 I used to zip around the streets of on my skateboard- walkman on; bit of Huey Lewis, holding onto the backs of passing traffic- a great way of getting to school on time when your running late.

Know what else gets you 12 months in prison?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/8451749.stm

Oh wait…

Absolute scum. Imagine being out with your family and this happens….. this country is just getting worse.

Balloon knot

1980 Fiesta 1.3S (first car)
1990 Metro 1.0 bought for £300 quid from mate- lasted a year

paperboy?

wiggle shmiggle
Merlin, CRC and Evans have the best deals at the mo

Ding dong

tails – Member
just touch it to start with, you can put it in your mouth later

Surely she's not gonna eat a spider

johnners – Member
There used to be a Newsagents near me run by Roger Mashiter. It had his name above the door and everything.

How I sniggered.

I don't even care if this is true, it's fantastic

breakneckspeed – Member
Bloke in the Ranger Rover that ploughed in the back of the car killing 2 – was drunk, had taken drug, was on the phone and reputably committing a sexual act whilst driving at over 100mph – using that incident as an exemplar of how safe 4×4 are speaks volumes about the sort of people who drive such vehicles
As I recall they tend to do very badly in the ENCAP rating for both passenger and pedestrian safety
Farms & grouse moors are the best place for them

You're taking what I said out of context here. I'm not using this as an advert for 4×4 safety. I was completely shocked when I heard this. That family have been devastated. It's one of the things that made me think "what if it happened to me?" so under the circumstances I decided it would be safer to have this type of car to protect my family. We don't drive around drunk in it with reckless abandon safe in the knowledge that it's indestructable and we could never be hurt. It's not a battering ram, it's just a car.

What happens though when your wife gets distracted by the kids and your huge 4×4 goes crashing through the back of some other smaller car killing or maiming their kids? Yes, yours are fine, but at the cost of ruining another family's lives

That's extremely unlikely. They're strapped in and can't get out and if this happened in any other car the damage could be just as bad. Daft statement really.

but you have to look after your own first

Presumably you also think we should stop sending money to Africa? Or you'd be happy for a school 100 miles away to close if it meant more money for the one your kids go to?

Not the best analogy there either. If it was between giving food to my kids OR giving it to some africans I'd give it to mine. Africa needs stable uncorrupted government, education, better infrastructure and rubber jonnies but that is another can of worms altogether…..and there's no need to feel sorry for my kids. They are being brought up very well with good moral values thankyou very much.

I work in Denmark and there's a guy here called Lars Hole.
I laugh every time I see him

llamafarmer – Member

KT1973 – Member

the extra security of having 2 ton of steel around you

Not so comforting for the mum on the school run in her Vauxhall Corsa though is it? It's like a pointless arms race – the only way you can be safe in a crash with a 4×4 is to have one yourself.

Posted 11 hours ago # Report-Post

That's true and I've considered this often but you have to look after your own first and I want to give them the best chance possible. Do you remember the story about that pissed up footballer who crashed his Range Rover into a family car and killed their 2 sons. Absolutely tragic and I don't think I could deal with that. There are some situations that will be completely outwith your control but you do what you can. I was never a fan of the things before and it took me a while to convince the mrs but she loves it now and it gives me some peace of mind, whether that added protection be perceived or real.

I wear one of the pointy hats too.

I'm not a policeman though, I'm a wizard

I tried that website and got matched with 3 women- 1st one was into xc mtb and kayaking and was 28 years old, 2nd one into road cycling and running and was 32 years old and the 3rd who was 33 and into triathlon and tennis, so naturally I chose the one with the biggest tits.

I used to feel the same about 4×4's until I had kids myself, so it's mainly for the wife to use and the benefits are the elevated driving position and ride height, the extra security of having 2 ton of steel around you plus all the airbags and the practicality of all the extra space. It's comfy for driving long distance and it's a diesel so it's not too bad on the fuel either- certainly better than the last couple of petrol engined cars I've had.
I know a lot of these features are available on a family saloon/estate and I did consider some of these, but having tried several and read all the reviews I think I made the right decision and I'm really happy with the whole package, and of course it's great to chuck the bike and gear in the back and head up the glens for a days riding too.