Well Cougar, you’ve cheered me up! 🙂

The Southern Yeti – Member
Can you be ‘aplomb with penile gusto’?

It’s got to be worth a bash, I would say

Frottage

Oldgit- I can’t believe you pipped me with Aplomb!
OK then- Gusto
I also like penile

Copious amounts of booze, strippers and cocaine. Punch your mate in the mouth. Shit on the pool table. Job done.

cynic-al – Member
I know a good joke about that.

WILMA!!!!!

skidsareforkids – Member
Whoever pulled me out would become the king of England!

Quote of the week there skids. keep up the good work.
And yes, she is splendid

I’ve got a pair of underpants that used to be epileptic.
They don’t fit anymore though

I’ve changed mine to say ‘Sent from my iphone 5′ just to make the bu663rs think I’ve got 1 up on ’em

King Knut and the Front Bums

peajay – Member
That looks awfy like out at the high girders on the tay bridge?

Posted 11 hours ago # Report-Post

That’s what I thought- Tay Rail Bridge

You better believe it! 🙂

😀 If you like that you should try her cottage pie

My Grans Version

Ingredients
1 tbsp oil

1 large onion chopped

2 medium carrots, chopped

560g/1¼ lb beef mince

400g/14oz can tomatoes

290ml/10fl oz beef stock

1 bay leaf

fresh thyme leaves from 1 sprig

2 tbsp tomato purée

salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the topping
750g/1½ lb potatoes, peeled and chopped

225g/8oz parsnips, peeled and chopped

2 tsp creamed horseradish

75g/2½oz butter

55ml/2fl oz milk

Preheat the oven to 190C/375F/Gas 5.
Heat the oil in a large pan. Add the onion and carrot and cook over a medium heat for 5 minutes until soft.Make sure that your oil is not cold but slightly warm as well but not boiling hot. Pour the oil on your hands and rub them together, then begin massaging your partner from either the head down or the feet up. Never let your hands leave the skin of your lover, keep them moving all the time and don’t be afraid to move your hands near the private parts of your lover. But don’t touch them. Just dwell near the erogenous zones. You can knead your lovers buttocks or the area just above the buttocks and massage both the inner thighs and outer thighs and move your hands in a sweeping motion from the chest down or calf up in order to draw the energy towards the intimate zones. This can bring waves of pleasure even though you are not directly stimulating your partner.
Add the minced beef and cook for 3 minutes to brown.
Add the tomatoes, purée, beef stock, bay leaf and thyme.
Cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Season.
Meanwhile, to make the topping, boil the potatoes and parsnips in water until soft. Drain and mash with the butter and milk. Stir in the horseradish and season with salt and pepper.
Spoon the meat into an ovenproof dish. Top with the mash and bake for 30 minutes until golden brown.

Enjoy

My Grans Recipe

500g strong white flour , plus extra for dusting
7g sachet fast-action dried yeast
1 tsp salt
up to 350ml lukewarm water
a little sunflower oil , for greasing

Make the dough by tipping the flour, yeast and salt into a large bowl and making a well in the middle. Pour in most of the water and use your fingers or a wooden spoon to mix the flour and water together until combined to a slightly wet, pillowy, workable dough – add a splash more water if necessary. Tip the dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead for at least 10 mins until smooth and elastic. This can also be done in a tabletop mixer with a dough hook. Place the dough in a clean oiled bowl, cover with cling film and leave to rise until doubled in size. Heat oven to 220C/fan 200C/gas 7. Start by pouring a little of the warmed oil into your hands (always check the temperature of the oil before hand to prevent burns).

Rub your hands together, and place a hand on each breast, moving your right hand in a clockwise direction and your left hand in a counter clockwise direction. Massage the breasts in circles for at least 10 minutes. Now focus on one breast at a time, moving from the nipple outwards towards the shoulder keeping the energies circulating around the body. Lavish love and attention to each breast for about 5-10 minutes. Do not forget or neglect the very sensitive skin underneath and above the breasts. Make a large circular massage motion from under the breast, up and around the top part of the breast under the collar bone. End the breast massage by placing each hand on each breast again, the right hand moving clockwise direction and the left hand moving in an anticlockwise direction. Do this for 5-10 minutes. Finally place one or both hands gently between the breasts just above the heart. Close your eyes and imagine love energy from your heart moving down your arm into your hand(s) and into your lover’s heart. Co-ordinate your breathing to deepen intimacy. Do this for about 5 minutes. Knock back the dough by tipping it back onto a floured surface and pushing the air out. Mould the dough into a rugby ball shape that will fit a 900g loaf tin and place in the tin. Cover with a clean tea towel and leave to prove for 30 mins. Dust the top of the loaf with a little more flour and slash the top with a sharp knife if you want. Bake the bread for 15 mins, then reduce the heat to 190C/fan 170C/gas 5 and continue to bake for 30 mins until the loaf sounds hollow when removed from the tin and tapped on the base. Leave the bread on a wire rack to cool completely. The loaf will stay fresh in an airtight container for 3 days or can be frozen for 1 month.

I went to uni a couple of times to have sex with girls who lived on campus.
I enjoyed it.

Lying on my bed on an oil rig in the Persian Gulf reading this.
Interesting thread.

Fantastic 😀

quote

scaredypants – Member
is derek_starship already taken ?

quote

Yes. They were previously known as derek_airplane during their 60’s heyday

Firstly I live in Sweden

My wife

This thread is useless without pics I’m afraid

I remember being with my mates about 14 years old and sticking a banger in a big fresh Alsation’s loaf on a street corner, lighting it and then legging it across the road to witness the carnage from a safe distance.
Or so i thought.
Ended up getting covered in sh!te, and even a bit of it landed on my lip.
I went home early that night, spitting all the way!

Edinburgh. For that price you’ll get Malmaison or Rutland, maybe Tiger Lilies. Have stayed in them all and they’re nice.
Balmoral or Missoni if you want to push the boat out a bit

Anyone fancy a pint?

My mum has a bikini with a sort of spider design I think. I’ll ask her where she got it

Dundee is a lot better- used to be a total hole in the 80’s & 90s but has improved a lot. Decent shops bars and restaurants now and the Perth Road area around the uni is pretty good. So is Broughty Ferry. It’s only 1 hour to get to Edinburgh by road or rail and there’s flights to London City airport which is handy.
As mentioned, the Sidlaws are good, in fact there’s a lot of good trails nearby. Tentsmuir is fine for a little fly around too.
I definately wouldn’t write it off. Housing prices are more favourable than similar in Edinburgh or Aberdeen (I’ve lived in both of these too)

Coincidentally I have recently purchased a manbag myself. For years I maintained that these were the preserve of the ponce, however I travel internationally a lot and wanted something that I could use as a flight bag for essentials (incase of lost luggage) and also something I could take to the office that looks decent.
I bought a canvas one by Diesel which burst the first time I used it, so I returned it and then I bought a brown leather one in Heathrow here which does the job nicely and was quite a bargain I reckon. I don’t commute by bike but if I did, I doubt I would use it since I used to deliver newspapers as a lad and I never did like the feeling of it walloping around.

Edit: Just realised it’s pvc- hence the bargain price! Looks ok though

Eh? I blame it on the LHC

40 psi

I’m happy in anything except high winds. Anything above 20 mph is a waste of time, unless it’s in the woods with some shelter

That decided it then. I’m having kippers for brekky tomorrow

Yemeni Snickets series of unfortunate events

Go to your local doctors surgery. If its medikit for overseas travel you can order these

Ahh Remoulade…..the Danes pretty much drink the stuff.
Mighty fine on hotdogs

Roast Beef and fried onions on a baguette with some English mustard and horseradish.
Chips with Tom Ketchup and Mayo.
.
Somathat!!

The squirrels think it’s raspberry

I say passionfruit

As above with mf. If I don’t cancel my insurance policies, they automatically try to renew it

A few belters here for sure

I’m thinking about these too, but I’d be interested to hear how they would perform in comparison to formula R1s or RX/K24 in terms of performance and reliability since these are the others I fancy. Also considering Shimano XT

Audi S4?