I grew up with an emotionally abusive and controlling father.
Some conflict is normal in families, especially with growing children as they move toward independence. It also does them good to realise that their parents (and by extension other people) have limits and are not perfect in a safe environment.
The difference between this sort of normal conflict and the actions of people like my father is that he deliberately set out to provoke it for his own reasons.
The very fact that you are reflecting on the consequences of your parenting actions tends to imply that you are a “good enough” parent, which, honestly IMO, is as good as you can get. Paradoxically being a “perfect” parent can cause it’s own problems.