My favourite euphamism from the Viz Profanisaurus is

"Cock Custard".

Ok, here's a clue.

Polar nights last 6 months, and even during the polar summer, the sun is further away than say, africa, or india. That whole "equator" thing.

And now, ask yourself, how cold is it at the equator? How much does heat from the earths core provide?

From o level geography, its an average of 4% of the total heat.

Start it up, and at the question, go to continue booting into safe mode. Then try shutting down. If on reboot, you still got issues, probably got a virus or something.

If so, run your anti spyware and any other malware programs, and then use a previous system restore point say a day or so before the pc started going bananas.

Alternatively, it could be a part of the pc not working properly (i had this recently with a fx card who's fan had choked up with dust, leading to overheating, making the pc unstable and causing crashes requiring power off without shutting down, a few of these fubar'ed my pc, but a new card, and the above, resolved the issues.

If none of the above works, then you might be stuck with reinstalling windows?

I had this recently.

I would say to anyone thinking about building their own, that it really is much easier than you image.

All the things that "connect" ie power supply to mother board, are connectors that you just can't get wrong, they are all specific shapes. Everyhting realy just screws in together, and frankly if you can wire a plug, or change a lightbulb, then as long as you are patient, it's not really dificult.

That's not a Skoda…

This is a "Real" Skoda….

And yes, I had an Estelle 120 lse, years ago, and it wasn't nearly as bad as you'd imagine…..

p7.

Isn't a discussion on the "best" U2 album rather like a discussion on the "best" way to self harm.

Download a court claim form, complete it, go to your local small claims court, get them to issue but not serve it, and return to the shop and serve it on the manager.

That usually changes an opinion of no assistance.

I used to be a manager and always used to back up the staff. If they wern't happy in their judgement, and they were no fools, then i wasn't.

It's not even the supervisors call, as it's not the supervisors liquor licence under threat, and it's the serving person who gets the prosecution/criminal offence.

I'd have been tempted,*knowing* it wasn't the passport of the person buying, to have called the police.

She wasn;t israeli was she?

You say your not in touch with your feminine side.

Yet from your post, I suggest you touch your left shoulder. It should be your left flap, your right shoulder ditto, as you appear a complete lady part.

Actually, I don't think your that deep, or the area your head should be is that sensitive.

It's so you can lock up your on-ones.

I expect nothing less from op.

small heath, small time.

Enterprise often tend to be a little cheaper.

It's funny isn't it. Everyones quick to "claim where theres blame", and is disappointed when their house doesn't rocket up in value, ane tends to expect something for nothing.

But everyone also expects their kids, who only have one shot at being kids, to live hand to mouth, dependent on begging, and to behave like little adults, having to work for pennies. I thought we'd abolished child slavery years ago.

And I don't think theres actually much evidence that you intrinsically change a childs nature by forcing them to "earn" pocket money. A lazy child/slow developer whatever is more likely to be effected by the hours you send them to bed, how you support them in their interests, than telling them to do the washing up for a £1.

Indeed, you teach them the price of everything, (ie washing up/hoovering ec) and the value of nothing. Why wouldnt any right minded adult who hates slaving away for an employer all week, suddenly expect 9 year olds to accept this shit?

Give the child a sum, say a fiver. If they spend it stupidly, they dont get any more, thats the rules, – blow it on sweets, you don't get to save for the computer game you want – its about teaching responsibility and about the effects of making choices, not about mind numbing slavery.

Do the washing up together, samw ithchores, if you want the chilsd to do them – spend some quality time whilst your at it, making it an opportunity to bond and communicate – talking about school, relationships, whatever is on the childs mind, rather than sitting watching telly whilst your dishes get done for 1/5 of the min wage.

I find almost every posters view both guilty of double standards, and lazyness. You wanted the child. Surprise, they create mess and inconvenience, deal with it, dont pass it on to them. Love them, spend quality time, don't treat them the way you bitterltyresent being treated yourself. If your boss behaved with you the way you seem to with your kids, no wonder they end up aged 15 hanging around bus shelters doing smack….

Could have been worse –

Not very helpful, by my motorbike helmet is a Lazer. It's certainly ok and safe enough, although fairly budget job.

It's truely ghastly, but then isn't that part of the fun. Inapprorpiate bikes can be great.

A couple of years ago I scored a Raleigh mtrax-500, an mtb with bonded ti tubes to cromo lugs, and it rides nicely. Non sus forks, but did the londo to brighton nicely.

I also have a flat filled with Diamond Back bmx's from when DB were a quality name in pushbikes. So I understand the motivation.

But it is ghastly.

Is looking like a blind Jawa a good look in 2010 then?

Canesten did for mine.

And moving to a place with different carpets. It might be in your socks, shoes ect, which can be changed, but if you ever walked barefoot, or lived with someone with athletes foot who did, thats the likely source of the reinfection.

Hit it with Bombers?

I know Kitos is thank you.

It's the only word of Finnish Iknow, but I gets me by for my holidays.

I could count to 3, but I was frankly buggered the day I needed to buy 4 bus tickets. Got to love Finnish as a language. First Bar I ever went into tried to order 2 beers, and after a comedy pantomime, ended up with gin and tonic.

Great place though, like Germany, without Germans.

And the cost of replying is?

It's a scam, I was in Game in Croydon, when 2 members of staff both received the same txt on their phones at the same time, and neither of them has been in an accident either!

Cheese in the dvd drive? Goes nicely with a drop of red, so I hear.

No one mentioned smoothies?

Huge variety from either yoghourt based, like say, banana and cinnamon with natural yog, or fruit based ones, and really, theres so many varieties, and you can "water" the juice to fruit to make the blend thick, thin, fruity, sweet, sharp or whatever.

Or I have started to get the "pricier" squashes in, like Belvoir Farms blackburry and apple, or winter warming mixed berry which is nice with hot water.

Or even dont forget a good old hot chocolate. Someone mentioned coffee, and yes, once you get into making with milk, adding flavours to it (a sacrilige for some) and getting away from just "coffee", and perhaps experimenting with diffeent blends/beans, theres a whole avenue to go down.

I used to be an EA, and I see merit on both the op's and tlh's arguments.

The EA is working for the vendor, and the property ought to be marketed til exchange, but with the honest proviso to any potential viewers that there is a sale arranged. Lets face it, if someone who has no chain, offers £5k more than you, and you are reliant on 5 people below you, then to keep selling to you would be a no brainer.

But again, there is a *huge* conflict of interest in the estate agent managing "your" purchase. If theres a difficulty, and the same solicitors are working for the seller, would you get the best advice? And why should the agent prefer you, with 5 properties in the chain below, using their mortgage service over the aformentioned no chain cashbuyer? That would be massively unethical too.

I suggest you ask for the managers name, discuss whats been said, and say you will be reporting them to the Estate Agents Ombudsman for a complaint. I would also tellthe seller how his house is being marketed unethically.

Regrettably, certain "chains" of agents are like the Halfords of bike sales, you just don't know who they are.

*cough* countrywide is a word that should ring alarm bells. But they are not the only ones.

I actually pretty much refused to get involved, past letting a FA vet the purchaser over the phone, just so I could be assured the buyer was good for it. I was also scrupulous about "chain checking" and used to roast other agents it seemed every day, for not knowing what the chains were doing….

But then I was one of the few, genuinely honest ones. And I have verifiable proof, having sold building plots or dilapidated properties to private purchasers for 2x what a builder would have paid, and lost out on "resale" commissions and "relationship building" with developers. I saw a place in the last recession, I valued it at £100k, every other agent in the village valued it at half that, and we got £105 in the end. A lot of delelopers had wanted that plot, and no agent would value it honestly.

Having said that, if I had sold several 2 beds at 55-58k, (when stamp duty was 60k), and I saw a indentikit 2b estate house, I;d tell people to within £500 what it was worth, adding for double glazing, a decent view, a nice kitchem/bathroom. But I never "over valued" ie telling that person Yeah, we'll get you £65k, wioth a view to getting a board up, a pic in the window, and 16 weeks to work on getting the price down. Thats what target driven big name estate agents do. If it was worth £57, I'd say it how it was, but most people dont appreciate honesty, think your a fool, that their house is "always"worth more.

Frankly, in England, people get the agents they deserve, which are a piss poor bunch of chancers.

Sellers market forold bmx's?

Great! I got 4 in my flat here! Anyone want a Diamond Back Silver Streak?

Seriously though, there have been lots of frames through the years, but few if any MTB's are "clasic" as there has been a lot of development and changes through the years, and fashion influences too.

IE my first Clockwork Orange was a lovely bike, best frame of any of the bikes I've owned since. But with its canti bosses, and only suitable for suspension up to 60 mm, and it's 1 inch head tube, it would be a no brainer to buy second hand today, as you couldnt find forks to fit it! The same will be just as applicible for the Orange Vit ti frames, ie fork length and the fashion for longer, means it will only sell to a small retro market.

Old racing frames are a little different as single speed makes a comeback with all these fixies and the rlj's who ride them but your frame will sure as tomorrow is friday, not retain value.

Buy it for you, but dont justify it as an "investment". Even my DB Silverstreak as mentioned above, is only worth today a bit over what I paid for it 25 years ago, and taking into account inflation, thats stilla thumping loss, despite that I could go to RADBMX and sell it 10x over, as people love them! Perhaps a Harry LEary Turbo in mint original condition might buck the trend, I've seen a couple go for £1k+ and one for £2k that was virtually mint original down to its irc skinwall comp II DB specific tyres.

I still say actually "talk" to a real insurance professional, you keep on about these comparison webistes where you can't actually explain anything.

And then later on, you'll slate some guy for buying a wrong bike part from Halfords or Ebay as it was a few pence cheaper than using his LBS….

We can only try and help as you asked, feel free to ignore us…

Rather than using a comparison website, or ringing Admiral and getting mardy with a telesales bloke, why not speak to an insurance broker, who will ahve access to Admirals underwriting department.

Let the broker speak to them about the van on the car policy, as technically, if you were driving someone elses van on the "driving other cars" extention of your own policy, they would pay out on any incident, as the DVLA view of a "car" is any vehicle with an axel weight loading of 2.2 tonnes or less (from memorty, dont quote me!).

I think if the underwriters get it explained its not a commercial polciy or a commercially used van which bring a totally different set of risks in terms of use, mileage ect, then a decent broker may be able to sort you out.

BTW, I used to work in a claims dept for an insurer, and most of the big brokers were pretty rubbish imho, there was one who didnt pay staff on commission, so that they were free to give best advice, and they were called "Direct Choice". (Also known as Taylor Price Insurance Brokers) I can't recommend them highly enough as a private individual, and used them myself on the basis if they were about the only big broker I ever dealt with with access to discounts from insurers who were intelligent, responsible and not just writing cheap crappy business for commissions, then they were my sort of company.

I think if you show the kids a bike, some Hornby 00, and a smut mag, and put them alongside and some shoes, a handbag, and a copy of heat magazine, ask the kids which ones interest men and women, you'll be able to show the biggest difference between the sexes.

New site started up in the last few days by a group of fed up consumers.

http://www.yellowlight.co.uk/

I've not managed it, but I have walked in on a couple at it, when as an estage agent with keys, and taking a family round to the property after no answer from the phone……

Vicarious liability?

If the shed can only be used by employees, and therefore are claiming that an employee must have left it open, (to try and avoid strict liability by having a faulty/unsecure area) then is there a duty of care on an employee to lock it, and in failing to do so, have the company got a liability for the actions of its employees whilst engaged on company business?

I just bought a sansa clip 8g.

It's fine. I wanted cheap and something I won't mourn when I break it, but I needed a buffer between me and the "bus ****" who spoil my journey and early morning reverie. Really, basically, people who use the bus are the lower classes, and to be frank, its clear why. Most of them just don't actually know how to behave, whether it's spending the whole 40 minutes bellowing ino a mobile phone right behind me, or playing music on ipods or phones either through a speaker, or with headphones which allow enough noise leakage the whole bus has to "enjoy" what is inevitably dull tedious female histronic wailing r&b or angry "nigga's wid attitude" rap.

Its a neat little unit, radio works no worse than any radio in a phone I've ever used previously, sounds ok (I've nothing to compare to), the files transferred across more quickly than I was expecting, literally a few seconds for an album, the display although small is very clear. Its neat, and cheap, ideal for mtb'ing cycling where an ipod is more likely to become damaged.

Just ignore the tutor as tell him you were doing this when Eddie Fiola was in nappies….

The difference between a Patriot and A Racist?

Well, the day Orange bring out a 5 inch travel freeride bike called the "The Racist" is the day the borders become blurred….

Drink.

The whole point of beer is its "preserved" water.

It may not taste the best ever, if say its tins not bottles, but 4 months for lager isn't long, given the length of time from bottling to the best before date, which is only an advisory note anyway.

In my emplyoment, I've seen court documents issued on Mr Wayne Kerr, and regularly get medical reports from Mr Hugh Koch.

Well, as the owner of a p7, a Bianchi racer and 4 1980's bmx bikes, and a semi regular reader of stw, I've never heard of Thread Stopping Compound either.

And as a sweeping generalisation, people who spent less than a fiver on their new car (apologies, I'm sure Kia's have moved on in terms of build quality since the Kia Pride was the cheapest, but insdisputibly the nastiest car for sale in Britain), tend not to spend £100 on a Continental Tub? (tube?).

I bought from the c2w scheme, a Bianchi from Halfords, from their defunct Bikehut branch in Dorking, in, er, Surrey, and the staff were both excellent, and helpful. They were happy to let me out the shop on £1500 racers just to get a feel for the right size before I ordered my bike, (as They don't do Bianchi, they obtained it for me). When I;ve been in there casually on a sunday pm, they showed interest in my vintage 80's Diamond Back Silverstreak BMX (a classic I'll have you know), and as the shop was full of high end bikes, must have had an ability to put them together.

Ok, the local car parts superstore primarilly selling kids bikes and commuters might not be used to obsure products for people who spend £100 on a tyre, but then the staff at Mcdonalds will look at you oddly if you ask for Steak Tatare.

There is no excess if theres no insurance claim.

The excess is paid to the garage on collection, if its an insurance arranged repair.

If he goes elsewhere, and makes no cliam, theres no excess. Simples way out is simply to ask for the excess receipt. If it doesnt get paid to the garage, there is no excess. If he asks you for cash to repair, then be aware its a fleet vehicle, and he may also incur the vat charge on repairs to be claimed back at a later date. If it never gets repaired – no vat invoice. So at least you can see from the excess receiupt that usually carries the vat charge as well, if its a legitimate invoice you get presented with.

People why appear to enjoy Jack Daniels, appear to enjoy telling people they enjoy drinking Jack Daniels almost as much.

They are usually impressionable late teenagers who have read too many superficial interviews with rock guitarists, or retired bank managers from Orpington with a Harley Davidson in the garage when they oculd have bought a real motorbike instead.

People who drink JD seem to associate their choice of third rate poison with all sorts of lifestyle and branding issues. It's all so ghastly and "American". Proof of the power of marketing.