I was reading the Op thinking ‘Knaresborough could be worth a mention then…

Is Knaresborough any good ?

It certainly is – the walk along Waterside and Abbey Road is lovely, there are a few very nice pubs all around town and by the river (at the Waterside/Abbey Road junction there are two (Half Moon and Mother Shipton’s) on either side of the bridge and are both lovely (MS has a nice beer garden next to the river too). And Knaresborough is on the Leeds > York railway line (trains at least every 30 minutes all day) so either (and Harrogate which is on the same line) can be accessed within 45 minutes.

Yes, naturally she does have a phone and we know it isn’t helping, however she has had it since she started secondary school so it would be very difficult to take it away. We are constantly trying to find ways of stopping her from spending all her time on it.

An article I read recently (from a former head teacher with a daughter with similar challenges) said that forcing a child back into situations is like telling someone to go back into their burning home. I think that perfectly sums up how people may feel.

But Bill – what you are saying is exactly what we are trying to get to – a teacher that understands, I really don’t feel we are expecting too much (despite what some people here are saying :-(

“Singled out” suggests she’s the only person receiving this treatment and that’s not true.

To be clear – I have not claimed she is being singled out – I responded to someone else who used that language.

Edit – sorry, I did say it. I didn’t mean it in that way, I simply meant that her teachers know not to ask her questions, not to make her a focus.

most likely this is a simple mistake. 

It really may be just that, but she is the Head of Department (so you’d assume she has the skills to perform to a higher level) and she has done it twice since the new year started (we reminded her again after the first incident). Anyway, we have requested a meeting to discuss it and hopefully when she fully understands the bigger picture (ie, how it doesn’t just throw her out for a few minutes, it affects her whole day). For reference, since the first incident, she hadn’t been able to go back into that class until yesterday when the teacher did the same thing again and we fully expect her to not be able to go in next week now as she has lost all trust in the teacher.

If she’s having this problem in school, Real life is really going to **** her up.

Yes, we are fully aware of that, but thanks for reminding us.

I do struggle with the idea that asking a child a question in class is singling them out.  If they were always the child asked then yes, but if she sibling asked in a similar frequency to all the kids then I don’t see how she is being singled out.

But you aren’t struggling with anxiety – she cannot cope with focus being on her.

If the school should have done anything here, it’s to manage yours and her expectations of what they can realistically do to support her

It isn’t at all difficult – we are only asking the teachers to not single her out in lessons – nothing else whatsoever. It’s when they forget that more of the school’s time is needed.

Trying to control what is happening around her all the time clearly isn’t working.

Conversely, if we don’t try, she could not (emphasis on *could* not *would*) try something herself and she wouldn’t attend school, wouldn’t volunteer at the kennels, wouldn’t go to netball training or matches, wouldn’t go to friends’ parties, wouldn’t go to puppy training classes etc. She would spend her free time sitting in her room looking at social media. We have to do something.

Perhaps the teacher is testing if she has changed, giving her the chance to prove that she can handle the attention, the sky won’t fall in etc.

But it is not the teacher’s choice to be making – there will be time for that at some point in the future but it certainly isn’t now. We know because we have seen what can happen – her teacher has no idea whatsoever so cannot be making that decision. Yesterday’s incident is a perfect example of how spectacularly wrong she got it – it was the first lesson of the day, she struggled in every single lesson after and couldn’t go into her final lesson at all – so if it was a ‘test’, it cost our daughter a full day of education.

On a side note how is she going to cope post GCSE? Education at that levels requires interaction with teachers.

That’s a problem we will deal with when we get to it.

Isn’t this the second issue you’ve had with this daughter/school recently (moved sets in the other thread?)

Yes it is. She’s now back in the top set as the ‘blip’ was clearly a blip and the school quickly recognised that (although of course it added extra stress for our daughter unnecessarily)

Combine that with the number of parents looking for excuses for their kids poor performance who also tend to be very vocal a more measured response may yield results.

We’re not looking for excuses – her grades are very good. We are just wanting support

See the GP and see if a referral to CAMHS or other service is available.

Already tried two different private routes. She doesn’t like focus, this causes focus (and subsequent distress). I know it is ‘head in the sand’ to ignore it, but it certainly hasn’t helped. She will get the support she needs when she is ready.

The whole thing is massively frustrating as we aren’t asking for much – just that her teachers leave her to get on. She doesn’t need any intervention until a teacher makes her a focus, then it spirals.

But overall, I know I shouldn’t go in too hard, thanks for reminding me. I think we will just see if we can get a meeting with the teacher to sort it out. Frustratingly, it’s an English teacher, our daughter wants to do A level English, and the teacher is the one who would likely be her teacher so we don’t want to burn bridges.

I cannot advise on books, but, without knowing much about your situation, it’s difficult to advise much at all. If it is just bad behaviour then I don’t think books are necessarily needed, but there could be other reasons behind the behaviour such as issues at school that she doesn’t know how to share with you, through to neuro-diversity being at the centre of the underlying issue (which is where we eventually found ourselves some ten years after first noticing challenging behaviour).

I’m close to deleting it, but there are a few things on there that I’d actually miss

I’m the same (even after having my account compromised, losing years of memories and having to restart over a couple of years ago). I use it to keep in touch with family, some of whom live across the globe or are older and only really interact with Facebook online.

But more recently, the adverts have been really driving me mad. No I don’t want to get my car serviced by a garage 200 miles away from where I live or follow a right-wing pro-gun group from the USA because I follow a historical group about WW1.

 theres not a single thing I’ve seen on the show yet that you cant do at home

This is very true.

He works with multi global companies so it’s in safe hands.

and

As soon as I heard ‘influencers’ I wanted to dislike them

^^^ That and that. I immediately told my wife that I couldn’t watch it so we ended up *finally* starting Sherwood. I might have to give it a go though now.

Sound system is good in the 2012 models, not poverty spec. The TEKNA has Bose speakers

Mine also has a panoramic glass sunroof and pimp/drug-dealer cream leather seats. :)

Historically there used to be good lease deals but those days appear to be gone unfortunately.

More recently I have seen some great deals – I posted on here a couple of months ago about a Leaf for £110 a month with a relatively small upfront payment and I have just got an electric Lexus RZ for £296 a month (£3k down) which is a great deal for a £70k car.

Trailfinders have always been helpful when I have looked at multiple long-haul flights.

There are a whole load of leasing companies – I signed up for emails from a bunch of them then just see what special deals they have on – don’t get hung up on a specific model or you could end up paying more than you want – I just have a budget in mind and then look at cars that fit. I just take the view that it isn’t ‘my’ car and it will go back in a few years – I didn’t even test drive the last two I ordered, I just checked out reviews online.

Be careful with the pricing though as they all massage prices to make them look good at different points (ie, there could be a great deal on your perfect car, but it’s based on a really low annual milage or has a big upfront payment) – just make sure you compare all deals like-for-like.

And make sure you pick a dealer that follows the BVRLA Code of Conduct as they are very clear about what is and isn’t defined fair wear and tear.

I have been pretty lucky over the years (leased for some 18 years now) as I have only been hit for extra costs once and that was only a couple of hundred pounds.

FWIW, this is who I used last time around and they keep having some great deals https://centralukvehicleleasing.co.uk/

I watched the first one last night after reading this thread. I was slightly disappointed overall – it had its moments but it felt like they focussed on some bits for too long (like the sauna bit). My wife correctly pointed out that it felt very similar to that road trip one with the three chefs.

We have a 12 yr old Qashqai and it’s been fine – starts first time every time and just trundles along happily (2.0dci auto). Last week I thought something was awry with the steering and was panicking it was going to be an expensive steering/suspension fix. Took it to the garage and they diagnosed all four tyres having just 15psi in them. I was so embarrassed.

There’s not much they can do if the plate is registered to a different car (unless the owner of the white BMW is also the owner of grey Mercedes).

So, since last November, I have won a total of £150 on an approx £9k investment (goes up and down a bit depending on circumstances).

That’s crap.

Still, my meagre pension has grown by 12.5% in the last 12 months – I’ll be rich in my retirement (assuming I die at 70).

Nothing here :-(

@dove1 – I was there too (Leeds First Direct). It was wonderful. He cannot string a sentence together between songs but somehow he can still sing so hauntingly beautifully.

Sad Cure, very much so.

most people i know have stopped selling on ebay due to the fees so they must have seen private sales dropping off a cliff as they move to the other free platforms out there.

This – I have completely stopped using Ebay because of the fees. I now either Freegle low value stuff or stick stuff on Facebook Marketplace.

Yeah I have done it – I wanted rid of a car and it was more cost effective to hand it back than trade it in – I believe you have to be 50% into the agreement to do it, although that might have been specific to the HP agreement I had entered.

We have a 62 plate Quashqui 2.0 dci with 50,000 miles on the clock – all added as short-ish journeys over the twelve years. Never had an issue with it.

Heating on for the first time tonight because the elderly in-laws were around for dinner, switched back off now as it’s still a very okay 16deg and the summer duvet stays on all year around.

I’ve just got a Lexus RX450 Takuma at £296 a month (8k a year, two year deal). It was £3k upfront though, but it’s one hell more of a car than a Corsa. Unfortunately it got an unrepairable puncture after two weeks – £150 for an emergency tyre (shit non-branded thing) and £350 for the correct replacement but it’s an odd tyre size/spec and my local indie garage can’t get one until later next week.

At the end of the day – no house is a home so, no matter how much you like this house, it isn’t your home and you will find a house that will become your home.

Also be prepared that, even if you spot flaws you didn’t see first time around, the vendor may not be willing to move much on price and there may be other potential buyers so weigh up whether or not getting a bit knocked off the asking price because the boiler is a bit old is worth losing the house over if it is otherwise ideal for your needs.

Another question – I have installed ZapMap and I have seen they have ‘ZapPay’. I assume that, should I put my card details on it, I can then pay over the app if the charge station doesn’t accept contactless payments? I also assume that, if there is no phone coverage at the location, then it won’t work?

One day, the whole of this dodgy past will fully come to light. What we now know of certain individuals and what went on (Prince Andrew, Jimmy Saville and Al-Fayed etc) is certain to be the very tiniest tip of a large iceberg being enabled by an even larger network of others in positions of power in business, government and Royalty.

And that the room layouts worked for us.

Also have a think about what you might want to do with it – if you want to redesign the layout, check which internal walls are stud and which (if any) are load-bearing – the difference in cost / difficulty will be quite substantial.

Ahh thank you – that looks a very useful app.

So now I have an EV – what do I need to know about charging on the go (sorry if has been covered, but there are lots of posts to wade through). I am travelling to the Peak District from Yorkshire on Monday and I want to charge at the destination as I will then be spending a few days in the Peaks and won’t have lots of time to recharge.

My question is – if I go to a Sainsbury’s (or similar) can I just drive up, swipe my bank card and charge? Or should I be prepared with an account with someone like Shell Recharge or whatever? Can I recharge at Tesla stations (it isn’t a Tesla) – I have read before that *some* Tesla points will charge non-Teslas but other don’t! I remain very confused about the options on offer.

Edit: And can anyone recommend a good Apple app with charging locations?

The difference between 2.8miles/kWh and 3.5 is about 0.5p/mile (at 7p/kWh), or £50 over 10,000 miles. Definitely don’t worry about it :D

I hadn’t really worked out like that so I definitely won’t be worrying about it !

Well, I am the latest to join the electric car club – I took delivery of a Lexus RZ earlier this week and I am very impressed with it. Great performance and so easy to drive, although the early consumption figures don’t look great (around 2.8kw per mile) I knew this about this particular car, but the lease deal was really good so any additional costs in charging will be massively offset against the monthly lease cost being some £120 a month lower than my original budget.