Back then, the cossies were being dumped mercilessly by Northumbria Police because the new kid on the block was the mighty Volvo 850R/T5’s….. they crashed better and were better at carrying kit.

Can testify to the kit carrying capabilities of the Mighty T5

Ex North Yorks V70 T5 ARV.. 320Bhp fire breathing monster

Northumbria Police had a habit of using interesting/novel kit… seem to remember at times they had a 911 and a Vauxhall Nova Sport..

These were an interesting toy because they were a “Homologation Special” i.e. specifically build for motorsport I know cos I rallied one for 5 years 😉 and they were rather potent under that rather bland exterior…. 1300cc engine on Twin 40 DCOE webbers handled like they were on rails. Northmbria Police used theirs as a rapid response area car in the city center as it could carve through traffic like a hot knife..

That GMP landy…..

looks awfully like the Hostage Rescue toys that “THEY” use… I’m wondering if the “KG52” above the door is actually part of it’s army registration number and the civi plates are a disguise.

it will have removable front, rear & side steps – you can see the mounts and the hand holds on the roof.

Basically used for pilling a load of heavily armed plod (or …. “Them”) on to the outside of it.. teararsing up to a building and “assaulting” the building… the height allows them to go in through a 1st floor window too….

Intersting toy though..

You get the win for the most sneaky beaky bit of kit.

Err.. is that ship carrying the oil rig called what I think it is?

What??? the “Blue Marlin”

but i can see what you are getting at…. it’s a “D” not a “C”

If there’s someone in for food / door opening / cuddles

Ahh yes the “wrong side of the door” game…

..as in whatever side of the door the cat is on, to the cat it’s the wrong side!

Camo … knock the coffee, tea and coke on the head then its a bitch I know but 🙁

drink decaff if you have to.. and start drinking a LOT of water or juice (the diluting stuff) try for about 500 – 750mm / hour. This purges your system and keeps you well hydrated (stops headaches etc).

You can have the odd proper coffee but caffine is best avoided for about 12 months. I have suffered twice from this and currently going though it again.

Ahh tesco’s, that will be the Ayr store then!

Doncha love them! spotted it this morning on FB.

just as a thought camo… what’s your caffine intake?

Sounds daft but you can build up a caffine intolerance if you drink too much, your symptoms sound similar (ish) to mine.

The incoherent internal rage is just a symptom of age I’m afraid, the condition is called idiot intolerance and is coupled to a low threshold of workplace bullshit. Can only be cured by beating the offender to a bloody pulp with a baseball or cricket bat.

Well done

or staying with the nautical theme we stared with….

He was presented with them, washed and dried, at tea that night in case his friend wanted them back.

now wwaswas you don’t want to set off your “trouble” again… remember what happened the last time when you had one of your “peculiar little special moments” and got all twitter and bisted 😉

I’m still trying to figure out how this thread went from a genuine question about flowers on a date to an indepth discussion on hora’s baby batter and the viability of his progeny…

…god I love this forum 😛

I believe Nature’s truly intended recipient does a better job, frankly.

yeah but it dribbles out between my fingers…

I have a loose grip on reality with a wicked set of skills

I have to be H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock

My gf has one.
I might sell it.

Ditto lol

ahhh my adress box is all squished up… got ya…

gimme a couple of secs then jump away

*flicks phone to video camera mode*

DEFFO NOT VEET!

they will be able to hear the howl from you across 3 counties!

*edges further back in street to avoid the inevitable splatter when fast moving squishy object impacts hard surface*

Er…. what url wwas?

you forgot that too..

*stands in street looking up at ledge*

picked a old lady up in leeds a couple of week ago outside primark

Ahhh so you like the more mature laydee then Ton

Seriously now, to me it’s an obligation and common courtesey.

Helped a lady who slipped on ice the other week, she went down HARD, ended treble nining it and getting an ambulance, she fractured her scapula it turns out, then it’s chucking it down with snow, she’s in that much pain she can’t move from an upright sitting position and the number of people who tutted as the had to change direction to avoid us(oh the inconvenience)… that attitude boils my piss… but then I’m the sort of person who will stop at RTCs if it looks serious enough and the blue light services are not in attendance.

Proud to admit that I do shave my gentlemans vegetables, been doing it for at least 10 years following the snip where it had to be shaved anyway, been shaving it ever since.

No side effects, no infections. Quick zap over when in the shower once a day means no stubble issues. combine it with a full check over down there (which we should ALL be doing gents!) when in the bath.

Lot more comfortable and definitely seem to get more attention….

I heard the same tale in an army context, where the squaddie turned round to examine his afternoon’s work only to find nothing in the hole he’d lovingly dug for it.

Oh this brings back some memories… Late ’80s early ’90s I was a STAB (stupid terretorial army b……d) and therefore spent a lot of time in the summer waving sticks at the 3rd Soviet Shock Army from the western side of the inter German Border in a delightful place called Saltau. This was as bleak and desolate an area as you have ever seen but it’s one redeeming feature was that decades of use as a military training area mean that years of panzers roaring across it (yes it was originally a Whermact training area) had rendered the ground into a consistancy of fine sand which was a piece of pee to dig in.

This was where I was introduced to the fine art of tactical crapping AKA take your entrenching tool and your closely guarded soft bog roll (cos the official stuff you got in the compo boxes was awful) dissapear off BACK* into the trees, dig hole, assume the franz klammer position, open bomb bay doors, release weapons, close bomb bay doors, wipe, turn round, admire handy work, bury handywork, return to position.

This was also where the poor unwary squaddie could come undone principally by the miscreant called “The Phantom Turd Burglar”. The rumour mill had this down as only one person in the entire BAOR area but I reckon he had lot’s of henchmen.

The Phantom would sneak up behind said unsuspecting Squaddie whilst he was “a la franz” and position his entrenching tool underneath the unsuspecting squaddies open bomb bay doors, the reprobate would then collect the issued “compo snake” on his shovel and then stealthily dissapear into the night. Said squaddie then wipes and turns round to admire what he has been gently baking for a couple of days and it’s gone!.. cue much consternation.. was it his imagination? do I dare tell anyone?

At the very least said squaddie was normally left feeling very bereft as “compo snakes” due to the constipating nature of the then British military Rations these tended to be of both prodigious length and girth having taken at least several days to bake one up and it was deemed a matter of reknown to be able to outdo your mates it terms of size, thus the poor victim was robbed of boasting rights.

Never got caught personally but there was a lad in our company who had been supposedly been raided.

*this is important! going forward was bad as this is where the OPFORs were and this is a bad thing

Deltic…..

engineering poetry in motion..

for me its class 47s and if its steam then its gotta be “mallard”

Carlsberg green jock mutley? You disgust me.

It was cold & wet on a hot summers night….. *

..been looking through some pics to demonstrate that I AM cultured and urbane… and discovered a certain theme to the images

Stella Tortis!

Bierra Morretti …

Consuming said moretti!

See its not ALL alcohol Spot the girly bike

*……… Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses

Cougar – Moderator

(that’s not a sentence I thought I’d type today)

now wiping wine off the screen of the lappy!

Background: I haven’t met her yet, we’ve just been chatting on match.com (yes, she has pics that appear genuine). She wants to meet up, but I’m not sure if I want to proceed any further if I have no intention of holding a relationship over that distance.

^^^^^^^^^^^ this started off on ‘tinternet

if it’s going well the distance will seem like nothing, if not it’s a good excuse.

+1 never a truer word said!

Did it, would do it again, dashing 60 miles to steal a kiss and & cuddle can be fun, you will know if it’s the right person.

This is the result =0)

so there I was skipping and hopping through the banhammer minefield stark naked….

Realman…

Get out the house, you need to be with family & friends you need to be with REAL people… anyone will do… you are not imposing on them, this is a genuine emergency.

If I could hug you right now I would.. you did your best, you did all you could… your mate couldn’t ask for anything more… but please.. get where there are real people who can hold you and wrap you in cotton wool cos thats what you need right now.

If you are in Northumberland or North Tyneside/NCLE then you can come here if you have no one close by.

..

Start to remove fuses one by one till you isolate the circuit with the problem…

Personally I’d isolate EVERYTHING bar the basic automotive circuits required to keep the vehicle legal.

nothing to see here…. move along…. move along

Did some business with a company that made fire detection systems for LNG tankers, they were camera based devices that used fuzzy logic / early AI to detect whether the fire or smoke was real or not.

The main reason behind the technology was apparently the issue they used to have with LNG tankers was that the crew had a habit of abandoning ship if the fire alarm went off … buggering off well out of the blast radius area and waiting… if the ship went boom then there was a fire if it didn’t then they would motor back to the ship after a couple of hours! …bearing in mind that an LNG taker is basically a small nuke by another name as the subsequent blast is measured in kilotons.

Personally I wouldn’t blame the crew for that course of action but the owners of the vessels used to get a bit upset as these tankers were often followed by salvage tugs/crews who would take the risk and board after the crew vamoosed… thus effectively salvaging an abandoned ship and earning a lot of lolly… provided it didn’t of course go boom.

#EDIT – Geordie/Scots hybrid entity

just one thing on the old calor gas bottle wood burners prior to you cutting them up

unscrew the valve from top (after depressurising in a VERY well vented area(outside))

Fill with water to cull v.explosive gas residue that WILL be in the canister

Now make your cut with implement of choice but NOT electric – petrol Sthil Saw is the fave, cheap to rent

Born in Jedburgh (Scottish Borders)
Raised in Whitley Bay (& Lancashire (Boarding School) 😳 )
Now live in Blyth, Northumberland

Gold Label

Ohhh the oblivion… never realised I had drank that till you reminded me…. wonder what made me forget

Snakebite here…. purple nastys for special occasions (Snakebite from Scrumpy & Special Brew with a Pernod & Black lobbed in)

20/20
Martini cos my parents had GALLONS of the stuff

Piper Best Scotch (bass brewed)
McEwans Best Scotch… now being rediscovered with avengance now that I’m back in the NE!

If the post mortem reveals an umbrella up his arse then the Bulgarians did it…..