Don’t buy one in yellow. Everyone will think Noddy’s moved in and has a new car.

I would be “Stoptryingtobemyfriendandjustgivememycoffee”

Barring seriously cold weather, cold feet is mostly due to restricted circulation – poorly fitting shoes, shoes fastened too tight, socks too thick etc … anything that causes the your toes to be squashed/squeezed will stop blood circulating properly resulting in getting unnecessarily cold.

Bear in mind that your feet will swell a bit when they get warm, so don’t start out with socks/shoes fitting too snugly.

Pointless questions asked by sales assistants?

“Can I help you”

Go online and pay it.

You’ll probably crash their system, there’s a good chance nobody thought to test it for this scenario (possibly).

TAKING drugs to relieve pain in labour can be shown to work better than alternatives such as massage

Can be shown to …

Sounds like they’re saying “they can be shown to, but actually they don’t”

Is it ok if I deliberately plant some daffodil bulbs in the countryside, then pick them in the spring?

(EDIT: then if some steaming bore comes along and tells me off for picking ‘wild’ flowers, I can tell them to bog off as I planted them myself)

Yeah! Damn neighbours with their blasted noise! I can hardly hear myself drilling some nights!

So it’s basically The Muppet Show with murders?

Aha! I’ve been wondering when this weeks CRC bashing thread was going to appear … we’ve had the Top Gear one, but I still felt something was missing …

I believe there’s a YouTube comments blocker extension for Chrome.

My opinion would be divided on this.

On the one hand, the human/compassionate part of me would be saying “fair enough if he’s willing to cover the cost to get it fixed privately, no need to involve the insurers, bit of a wait, but what the heck” etc etc

On the other hand … “it’s her own fault, let her suffer the consequences and maybe she’ll become a better/safer driver” etc etc

What to do ? …

I moved to Marple as it’s (almost) within spitting distance of the Peak District, yet does not make commuting a big problem.

I work in Wythenshawe however, so my commute doesn’t take me down the majorly busy routes into Stockport or Manchester. It’s about 11 or 12 miles – on average 40 minutes by car or bike, and predictable (barring ad-hoc incidents).

There are regular trains to Manchester Piccadilly, and a couple of bus routes into Stockport centre, so it’s easy to get into town when I need to.

However, if you don’t want to go to Stockport or Manchester then living in Marple could become a pain without a car.

For example, my commute on public transport takes up to 2 hours; visiting my parents in Cheadle Hulme would take 90 minutes rather than 20/25.

What % increase from owning red meat?

I’m honestly staggered that people are really this stupid

I wouldn’t be. People are very good at being stupid.

Has anyone thought that the reason there aren’t more female mountain bikers / cyclists is because they’re just not interested, and no amount of encouragment, coercing or reduced costs is going to change that?

Provided there’s no active prohibition of female participation, it’s not mandatory to have an equal split of men/women in all aspects of life …

What tyres do you recommend for a wedding?

How much UK cattle is grass fed?

But what’s the grass fed on?
And is that worse for you than the killer red meat?

And does this make grass-fed beef a vegetable?

So if I had organised a race off my own back and said no blacks I’d be immune from criticism?

It’s probably acceptable to charge women less for an event to encourage more women, but unacceptable to charge blacks less for an event to encourage more blacks …

We’re allowed ‘women only’ clubs/events, but not ‘black only’ or ‘white only’ …

So it seems discrimination is ok if it’s dressed up as being done for women for ‘positive’ reasons …

EDIT: another +1 for Herman Shakes by the way.

Yeh, these so-called ‘experts’ are brilliant aren’t they

Now it’s another day..do you feel a bit silly coming out with that one?….

Nah, don’t be daft. I wasn’t being much more than 50% serious, if that.

Feed the douchebag owners the special meat

Careful with this – the latest commandment from the BHF states that we’re not allowed red meat because every mouthful will kill you and your family to death.

Make a recording of a barking dog and rig up a sensor/speakers to play it back every time your neighbours enter and leave their house, or are doing something in their garden.

Yeah, how dare they try and find out what’s causing premature deaths!

Problem is, there are so many different things that their research ‘suggests’ may cause premature death that it’s impossible for anyone to remember what they all are, and if we could we’d become terminally paranoid about every little decision and eventually go insane trying to live up to their recommendations … after a point I’m happy to live in ignorance and enjoy life rather than constantly worrying about a vast list of things that might one day kill me …

hels – I think the writer is against inter-racial adoption as it deprives the child of their cultural heritage etc.

At least, that’s how it comes across to me.

I can see his point.

Not decided whether I completely agree or not yet.

ffs.

How do you pronounce that?

Is it Welsh? It looks like it might be Welsh. What with no vowels in it.

Or it’s one of the noises my 9-month-old makes. He’s not Welsh.

he might already know, and then be massively embarassed if you mention it … best left alone in my opinion

edit: you seem to have forgotten to include the url 🙂

The Department advises:

* people who eat a lot of red or processed meat – around 90g or more of cooked weight per day – are at greater risk of getting bowel cancer;

Ok. Please explain more.

* cutting down to the UK average of 70g a day can help reduce the risk;

Pray tell, how in the name of all that’s holy do I reduce my intake from 90g to 70g. For the life of me I cannot imagine how on earth it could be achieved without some kind of great technological breakthrough. Or maybe an ‘app’ on my smartphone.

* this can be achieved by eating smaller portions or by eating red and processed meat less often.

Ah. Put less of it into my mouth. Thank goodness for advice like this. I would never have thought of that all by myself.

Now can you help me get dressed and tie my shoe laces. Thanks.

I might also need my bottom wiping later if I need a poo.

How much meat should you eat a day/week, etc ?.

Yeh, these so-called ‘experts’ are brilliant aren’t they…

“ooooh, don’t eat too much of that, you’ll be killed to death”

“ah, ok … so, how much is too much?”

“oh, we’ve no idea about that…”

Send our hard-earned Northern water down south?

Nah, get lost, they should just learn not to waste all theirs in the first place and then assume the rest of the country will bail them out.

i only asked a simple question and i’ve managed to be offended by people who don’t actually know me …

i only asked a simple question, but there always seems to be someone who criticizes, rather than being friendly and helping

You’re new here aren’t you?

This is BAU …

😈

If you’re a hairdresser, perma-tanned female or having a mid-life crisis then a TT is the perfect car for you.

My brother-in-law has one. He’s not a hairdresser or female. So that just leaves the third option (he is imminently turning 40 …).

I bought a vacuum cleaner from Comet about a month ago and its developed a fault

However I do think the friendly repair shop I bought it from will be more helpful

Er. Eh?

Your contract is with Comet, they shouldn’t be referring you to anyone else, they should be dealing with the warranty claim on your behalf.

Their website states:

All Comet’s electrical products come with a minimum 12 months manufacturer’s guarantee, so if your product breaks down or goes wrong in that time we’ll repair it for free. If we can’t repair it for any reason we’ll give you alternative product instead.

Nothing in their policy about the customer having to send it anywhere or liaise with 3rd parties … Comet commit to doing all this for you, or giving you a replacement.

However, in the FAQ’s, Comet say:

For all vacuum cleaners others than Hoover, Morphy Richards and Vax models, please return to your local Comet store with your product and receipt. The Comet Customer Help Desk Team will test it and either send it away for repair or exchange it (subject to the guarantee)

And

If you have a Hoover, Morphy Richards or Vax model, please contact the manufacturer …

So even their own website gives contradicting information.

Helpful. 🙄

Go back to the store. You’re just going to have to stand your ground and not accept being fobbed off.

Big mug of strong coffee, commute, shower, breakfast at desk.

Unless your commute is huge, your body doesn’t need fuelling beforehand.

I’d tell her to go to her local Citizens Advice Bureau to start with, but then she’ll need proper legal advice.

Make sure she’s got someone to go with if she’s not confident doing this stuff on her own.

titusrider ^^^ isn’t that just a list of everything that exists in the world?

Re. bacon and the like – does ‘processed’ include stuff like preserving, smoking etc?

I don’t count bacon as ‘processed’ as it’s just slices off a lump of pig. isn’t it? it’s not been altered in any way, other than maybe salted/smoked …

And anyway, I don’t smoke, I drink very little alcohol, I don’t eat junk food, I don’t do drugs, I exercise regularly, I eat healthily, I am not overweight and my blood pressure & cholesterol are well within recommended levels.

So by my reckoning, on average, I’ve offset the red meat effect, so I can eat it as many days of the week that I want.

At least, that’s what my research ‘suggests’ 🙄

“The British Heart Foundation said red meat could still be eaten as part of a balanced diet.”

Oh thankyou. Thankyou so much. Bless you all at the BHF. I shall make a daily sacrifice of a perfect lamb in your honour. I and my family will set aside one day a week to remember the mercy you have shown to us.

I hope we are all eternally grateful that the Holy Church of British Heart Foundation has deemed us worthy to be permitted to partake of the red meat.

On second thoughts, stop nagging us and bossing us around about what we can and can’t eat.

You people must be so much fun at a dinner party.

Diamonds

If the water company would consider reducing my fee’s when a hose pipe ban is on then I would comply.

I suppose technically, you’re paying for the supply of water.

During a hosepipe ban they’re still supplying it, they’re just telling you not to use it.

Using your example, it’s more like Tesco delivering your food then asking you not to eat some of it.

(f)drawing water, using a hosepipe, for domestic recreational use;

kind of includes washing bikes I reckon.

Riding my bike is recreational use, washing it is very much the opposite …