I like that, but it would have to issue a Fonz thumbs up Heehhh! each time you do an awesome overtake

Nobody driving a car on a public road has ever done an awesome overtake. Or an awesome anything in relation to their driving.

You’ll find it useful to abandon your need for simple answers to complex problems, however

So that I can sound clever and superior when talking about it?

Or because science-ists don’t actually understand what they’re on about themselves, so are unable to translate any of it into laymans terms?

In reality, I prefer complex answers to simple questions – this is when you know someone’s trying to over-emphasise what they’ve just done by making it sound all intellectual and important.

Perhaps you should get some…

Fine. Will I need a massive subterranean ring? Because I’ve only got a small garden.

Does the discovery of Hugh’s Bison, or whatever it’s called, bring us any nearer to understanding whether the chicken or the egg came first?

I imagine the Big Bang would either have broken the egg or fried the chicken, but I don’t have any science like those guys with their massive subterranean ring thing.

On one hand it sounds reasonable. Your employer is going down the redeployment route rather than mandatory redundancy.

Your situation sounds very similar to what my employer did several years ago.

A lot of roles were being offshored to India. Affected staff were offered redeployment, which would be followed by redundancy if a suitable role could not be found in the organisation.

If a role was found that the company believed you were capable of doing (i.e you had the skills), you were expected to accept it. There was a 3 month trial period for the above scenario, with some retraining factored in also.

If you declined the offer of a suitable role you were considered to be resigning and were not entitled to any redundancy package.

If, after the trial period, the company & yourself agreed that the role was unsuitable they’d look into further redeployment opportunities, or failing that offer a redundancy package.

On the other hand, your employer could be using it as a mechanism to change your contract – hence the reduced holidays and capped bonus …

Mountain Biking is incomparable.

How many other sports can get you to the top of a mountain and back down again whilst sitting down?

If I’m below sea level, does the boiling temperature of water increase?

The shoes/handbags/cushions/candles arguement is a red herring.

If women really cared about ‘stuff’, they’d have just two or three of said items that they looked after, valued, etc etc.

The fact that they seem to have far too many of said items shows they don’t care about them at all, they’re just expendable items that they discard on a whim.

Do not confuse ‘having lots of stuff’ with ‘caring about stuff’.

but isn’t the whole point of them that they set an example for us prols to look up to

No

Although I think reducing their costs by 25% over 3 years is a pretty good example, if you’re looking for one

Cheshire

Ah, well, that confirms it. Pretension central without a doubt.

Apart from believing a cafetiere/egg-timer enhances the dining experience, Cheshirists also get immense sexual pleasure from shopping in John Lewis (I assume this, considering how excited they get just at the mere mention of it).

Most people would get dressed up for a night at the Theatre/Opera.
Some people do this just for an afternoon in John Lewis.

Then there’s people like me bumbling around in my shorts and grubby trainers.

😀

It’s only 0.6% more than last year, but 26% less than 3 years ago, so actually all a bit of a storm in a teacup.

What with inflation etc, everyone’s cost of living has gone up, so (obviously) it’s also going to cost more to ‘run’ the Royal family.

They still need food, light, heating, transport, clothes.

Same as everybody else.

did I just eat at pretension central

Yes.

Also, I thought that in a restaurant you paid them to make you a coffee … I’ve never been told to finish doing their job for them

It’s raining. It rains every June, more often than not it rains so much in June that somewhere floods, yet it still comes as a complete surprise to the nation each year.

Very true. But we can’t argue about that.

Each decade since the 1970’s has been warmer than the previous one

The earth is 4.5 billion years old (or is that the Universe? either way, it’s flipping old)

I think we should be careful about placing too much emphasis on having written down the temperature for a piffling 3 decades

Either way, with plans to further cut the police force crime rates will soon shoot back up to a healthy level not seen for decades.

Ringo Star as “Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends”

Arthur ‘Captain Mainwaring’ Lowe as “The Mr. Men”

Richard Briers as “Roobarb & Custard”

David Jason as “Mr Toad”

One sure-fire way of cutting out drinking at home is to have a wife who is tee-total, regularly states that she wishes you didn’t drink alcohol, gives you a slightly sad disappointed look when you arrive home with a bottle of red in the shopping, and then uses most of it for cooking …

😀

Could it be the unfortunate truth that, between the global warming deniers and the the environmental evangelists, in reality, absolutely nobody has got the slightest ****ing clue what the hell is going on?

Certainly looks that way to me

Difficuly to continue justifying research grants etc if you admit it though.

These ‘scientists’ have probably got families to feed and mortgages to pay, so as long as they’ve got a seat on the climate change bandwagon the larder will be full.

If you are considering having children you really ought to consider how you are going to look after them full time before you concieve.

Ok, can we all now please stop taking this comment seriously …

Another weather thread – but can someone explain what is happening please?

Raining. Mostly.

Looking on the bright side, it stops southernists moaning on about hosepipe bans.

why do tennis players insist on total silence?

probably also something to do with the umpire being able to hear the line judges

the amount they earn, why can’t they put up with a bit of cheering

Interesting concept : noise levels on a sliding scale related to how much the players have earnt that tax year

Although perhaps england’s footballists would perform better if the racists fans were asked to sit down and be quiet in between stoppages.

Our lad (2.5yrs) would have to be a ‘member’ in order to be able to go to the crèche there – all at the bargain price of £10/month plus £4 per hour!!

That’s a pretty ridiculous system they operate.

I went to a David Lloyd once, just a one-off visit for one of those fitness test doo-dah’s where you have your VO2 max etc measured.

4 of us had booked a session with a freelance guy to do the actual test, the facilities hire price was included in his fee, but we still had to pay David Lloyd something daft like £15 just to get through the turnstile.

It was also one of the most sterile and unwelcoming gym’s, sorry “fitness centre’s”, that I’ve ever been in.

EDIT:

May I suggest there is something seriously wrong with your family childcare arrangements if you are dumping your child in a gym creche? If you are considering having children you really ought to consider how you are going to look after them full time before you concieve.

Obviously this comment was posted as a tongue-in-cheek remark, as any parenting-relsated thread on here always attracts such “holier than thou” remarks … usually always from those with no children

… and then we read news of how Team GB’s women’s 4x100m relay team performed over the weekend 🙄

If you can’t do without alcohol for 4 weeks you are already an alcoholic and should consider professional help

Bit of an extreme comment.

However I do find it a pretty sad state of affairs when not having a beer for even a few days becomes some kind of massive issue.

On second thoughts, perhaps if there’s such a dependence then the ‘alcoholic’ comment above isn’t so extreme after all.

If you can answer Yes to this lot, I suppose you’re mad enough to agree to get a dog:

– you can afford the vet bills

– you are happy to pay the vet bills

– you’re happy to walk it twice a day, regardless of the weather, which you will end up doing because the rest of your family only really want a dog as a plaything for the house

– you’re happy to pay through the nose to put the thing in a kennels when you go on holiday

– you’re happy for the carpets to be ruined when it gets diarrhoea. which it will.

– you’re happy for bits of furniture to be chewed

– you’re happy for the whole house to reek of dog

– you love all your posessions somehow permanently covered in hairs

– you can’t all go out for more than 4 hours at a time without taking the flipping thing with you

– etc

Mellow birds tastes buttery

Has anyone ever responded to the question “would you like a drink?” with “mmmmm, yes please, do you have anything that tastes of butter?”

Even milk doesn’t taste buttery, and that’s what butter’s made of.

See also; Budweiser

See also; Gnat’s Pee

It might be very clever but I really really hate that stupid song … ruined a perfectly good children’s nursery rhyme

But I remember, my OH wanted me to pick up some stuff from a chemist

I can’t believe you needed to rely on your own memory.

With all this technology available at our fingertips, and you’re still having to think with your own actual brain.

Unless you’re expecting to do a lot of driving on unfamiliar routes (sounds like you’re not) I’d suggest a smartphone – then you’ve got all the usual useful stuff (phone, text, email, camera etc) plus sat nav all bundled into one.

I don’t drive to many places that I’m not vaguely familiar with, and find the free sat nav app’s are sufficient for the occasions when I do need some guidance.

For the driving I do, buying a specific sat nav device would be a waste of money.

I’d have included Beckham just for the tourist attraction value, considering his global popularity it’d keep the visitors happy if they get a chance to see him play.

Football’s pretty irrelevant at the Olympics so who cares if GB fields it’s best team or not.

I drink them very occassionally just because I kinda like them (as opposed to a can of coke or some-such), but I don’t “use” them for what they’re supposedly marketed as, i.e. as an energy boost/kick.

I put their popularity down to the clever marketing & sponsoring.

They’re fundamentally just a load of sugar and caffeine. Probably not a lot different to a mug of strong sweet coffee.

Flippin’ hate thunderstorms.

Got caught in a massive one coming back down Rushup Edge in The Peak’s a few years ago.

Could see it coming towards me as I rode up onto Rushup Edge from the Mam Tor end.

Car was parked in the layby halfway up from Chapel.

Don’t think I’ve ever ridden over & down Rushup Edge so fast.

Got back to the car at the same time as the storm broke overhead. Threw the bike against the wall & jumped in the car.

Saw lighning strike the ground once or twice within 100m of the car. Makes quite a bang.

Eventually summoned up the courage to get out of the car & load the bike into the back before driving home.

Priced on ‘ability to pay’ – office staff are probably paid more, so can afford more expensive lunches

Is it a legal requirement to provide a staff canteen for sites employing over a certain number of people?

I’m sure a lot of businesses only have a staff canteen because they’re obliged to, judging by the quality of what’s served up.

Having said that, these days I think an increasing number of people are realising how much cheaper it can be to bring your own lunch from home – eating in our canteen every day would cost me around £25/wk. I can make my own lunch every day for at least half this.

Pendolinos were designed in the mid 90’s against a backdrop where flying was the travel mode of choice … The whole ‘experience’ was designed to rival the feel of an aircraft

It didn’t work then.

Never has a Pendolino felt like it was 20,000 ft off the ground. Neither has the carriage been filled with stale dry air. Never has a stewardist brought me a plastic meal. I’ve never been informed what the weather’s like at my destination by the posh bloke driving the thing. I often get a table with loads of leg room, & power for a laptop.

In what way is any of this like flying?

My parents have been using Kozy Kennels for years:

Kozy Kennels
Chester Road
Stockport
Cheshire SK7 6EN

Name the tables after different tables:

Dining, Card, Coffee, Picnic, Water, Billiards, DB2 etc

This week I heard a friend’s kid say ‘Mummy, if god is so nice, why has he given me chicken pox?’

That’s a tough one to answer!

Nah, it’s an easy one.

For years we’ve been telling God to get out of our lives. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand that He leave us alone?

The torch relay should really have been done as a massive ‘pass-the-parcel’ with everyone passing it to their next door neighbour