I must’ve been about 6… it was a combination of hearing rumours at school and old fashioned detective work; the previous christmas, my parents had conned me by jingling a bell downstairs just before I went to sleep, telling me beforehand I couldn’t come down no matter what else Santa wouldn’t leave any presents; ringing this same bell a few months later, I recognized the tone, so I confronted my mum in the kitchen, pinning her in a corner until she confessed.