Female midwives OTOH are clucking old busy bodies with a qualification in quackery.
Our female midwife (and previous experience in first marriage) was superb – focussed when necessary, inconspicuous at other times, really helped us so it's possible you were just unlucky.
I *might* mention this story to Mrs Heathen later to see what her reaction is (today is a very hormonally charged day so I'm not taking any chances) but I suspect that she'll recognise a grain of truth in the 'rite of passage' angle. She had gas and air right up until the last hour when she had pethidine (sp?). She absolutely refused any suggestion of an epidural as she thought it would disconnect her from the process. Actually, I think that pretty much covers it and I shan't be asking her anything later (except, perhaps, "Another chocolate, dear?")