A true mountain man. Very spiritual too. RIP Mr Scott.

Glad you are ok and yes i think someone was watching over you.
I think there is something about being a cyclist that attracts bad energy at times. In lockdown I’ve reflected a bit on my past, and one time I think I could have been seriously beaten up if not killed by a group of drunk idiots for no reason whatsoever. They started throwing stones at me as I was cycling, I went over and said why are you doing that, then they got very aggressive so I cycled off.
I went back later on and confronted a few of them and by that time the drink/drugs must have worn off as they weren’t up for it then. But you have to be very careful, most of these people have issues with drink and drugs.

covid is very different from the flu. unfortunately it is the closest analogy in many peoples minds, so they are assuming the risk of transmission is lower going into the summer. it could lead to a second wave.

Surprised at how many people had gatherings in their front gardens – the same people who previously would have been lockdown zealots. Just really strange. And it tended to be the “new money” people eager to show off their (perhaps fleeting) wealth to the neighbours. Made me realise how much I dislike living where I do! Time to move.

My thoughts so far
– there is no conspiracy, the virus wasn’t made in a lab but a result of humans encroaching into the forests and having contact with certain species carrying certain viruses for the first time
– it’s a very frightening situation overall. the virus is asymptomatic, has a long incubation period, and is highly infectious. it also transmits in all climate conditions
– containment would never have worked in the first place, this is not like sars which could only be transmitted in certain circumstances
– all medical systems will struggle and we could see something similar to the spanish flu in terms of global death rates; particularly among the elderly, smokers, those with lung conditions
– china is under reporting the numbers on a large scale; i imagine hundreds if not thousands in the uk already have it
So worrying to say the least

Great place lots of independent businesses and best city for food. 2 nights at least I’d say.

Been a while but i had a perfect month in croatia many years back.

sad news

I hear the term narcissist a lot now, I don’t think I’ve ever been caught up with one – my red flag detector has always been quite good overall – but it’s more that you realise everyone has some major issues, which you only learn about close-up. Plus people can change from good to bad.
The question for me I suppose is whether together, as a team/partnership, you can overcome your collective hang-ups and problems and be happier than on your own. Communication, apologies, patience, forgiveness from both parties, rather than creating an abuser-abused dynamic which seems all too common after the honeymoon period has worn off.
I did meet someone recently and I suddenly realised why the “love” industry is so lucrative, the feeling can be overpowering. I wasn’t comfortable with the feelings so didn’t pursue anything, plus I’ve just seen too many bad break-ups of late to think that I could be the exception not the rule.

It took me a long time to realise there is a major gulf between the face people show the world (persona) and the person beneath.
I’ve been single for 12 years now and counting. For me, it is just too much of a risk, I’ve found on balance I’m happier on my own than taking a risk on someone with the fallout and heartache from realising they are not their persona. Infact the people with the sparkliest, most outgoing personalities are often the ones to avoid.

After age kicks in, it costs a lot of money to keep something on the road, whether it be a car, a human or an animal. In the past, people were less sentimental about it all, and a lot of vets would have put animals down rather than keeping them going.

Any fool can handle a crisis, it’s the day to day drudgery of life which requires true heroism (or something like that), said Tolstoy.

I found an old school book from when I was about 6 years old. I’d written some stories and I constantly use the phrase, “You’d better watch out.” I think that indicates that I was anxious about the future even then. A lot of it is genetic, I’ve since discovered my dad could also be described as an anxious-avoidant type person.

I was speaking to a relative about someone we know who is now very unwell. This person knew him before I did, and said he used to be outgoing and fun. I’ve never known him like that. The change – he married the wrong person. He probably won’t last long now, and I’m fairly sure all the bitterness he has built up over the years has been a leading factor in why he is so unwell.

Surely another world war would kill so many people it would be a big plus for the planet?

These days I just assume a person is horrible until I see evidence otherwise…in complete contrast to what I was like until my mid-20s, when I naturally just trusted people.
It’s awful really…people can also change, so you could marry someone who then becomes toxic as time goes on.
But the result is a certain level of social isolation on my part, I’ve been single for 10 years, and all my friends are now married. If I go down to the pub, most of the regular drinkers there are in a similar boat and I can’t say they are very happy either and certainly not healthy. Among the married people I know, there are plenty of hushed up affairs which are just as depressing to hear about, and then the fall-out from divorce, particularly with kids involved, is perhaps the most horrible thing to witness.

I know a few heavy drinkers. All of them are using it as a crutch for something. Depression, anxiety or boredom.
Its a drug, we call it a drink but people take it as it is a drug.
But given the world we live in I can’t say I blame people for doing it.

Body can’t process the stuff anymore, 3 pints is my lot these days.

Well at least there is some sunshine in the forecast now…
I’ve found this month a tough one to get through for a variety of reasons, I’m going to start some mindfulness classes again, as I’ve neglected that for a while.

I have nothing to add but my sympathies.
My 10 year old neice now has a smartphone and my heart fell when I first saw her with it.

We will see…I think Jose is similar to the George Graham appointment, he may bring a trophy but the football will be defensive. Levy got carried away with the new stadium and thinking spurs are entitled to be a superpower because of it. He wants so edging for nothing and it looks like this could end badly. Poch may go to man United and do quite well as he already has a friendship with Fergurson who still casts a shadow over that club. There is still a question mark over pochs tactical acumen but in everything else he us first class.

Knee problems and surgery mean I haven’t ridden a mountain bike in anger for five years.
Three months into recovery from last operation, now on the exercise bike in the garage and looking at my mountain bike, wondering if I will ever ride the trails again.

@tjagain, if you are right, then you are talking about low-grade altruism which is really selfishness.
But how do you explain what is known as “radical altruism” – that is someone putting their life on the line to save a stranger’s life?
“Altruism” itself is a fairly new term, I suppose the old term would be charity.

My very unscientific observation is that some of the most ambitious, busy people have the strongest neurosis going on behind the scenes. There was a study of Goldman Sachs recruits, all highly successful/alpha types, turns out they had pretty much running away from something very empty inside.
Unfortunately like pied piper they lead other people along as if working harder, playing harder, are the keys to happiness.
My two cents worth: life is designed to be challenging, meaningful work is hard, but that work should be for an altruistic purpose to really count.

@TJ just becomes altruistic acts make you feel good doesn’t mean they are therefore selfish. It could mean that’s what we were ultimately designed to do, and that is where our happiness lies.

Writing a long time back Pitirim Sorokin said only a culture of creative altruism would save humanity going forward.
Unfortunately I just see rising levels of selfishness, obsession with house prices, no charity, all very dark and demo4alising.Perhaps the younger generation will realise it, but nonsense like instagram seems to be making them just as superficial and materialistic as the rest of us.
Or maybe this just comes from living in southern England for too long!
My advice is to try and identify the few altruistic people out there and hang around them as much as possible, like volunteering at foodbanks, church, whatever involves doing things for others, it seems to create a feel good feeling that lasts longer than any drug.

Life can be funny, I intentionally avoided settling down, having kids, so I could retain my independence, go mountain biking when I wanted, etc all the perceived “good things” that our hedonistic culture is constantly equating with happiness.
And then….major knee problems manifested themselves a few years ago (on a mountain biking to portugal) and so I am now in my late 30s, forced into living with my increasingly elderly parents as I can’t take care of myself, getting the bus with the old ladies, and unable to date even if I wanted to. The only regular dates I have are with my physiotherapist and surgeon!
I’ve also observed the single life can get quite lonely as you age, as everyone your own age has settled down, so you just end up hanging out with the bitter divorcees down the pub.
My conclusion is – the things which our culture tells us will make us free (more money, more romance, more travel) probably won’t. Look at someone like Van Morrison, his music is all about freedom, but he spends his time flying around the world looking for happiness but will never find it.

You are right to keep an eye on it as it could escalate. My first memory is being pushed off a swing by my older sister and breaking my arm. It’s sibling jealousy nothing to do with school. The problem is by disciplining him you are also giving him attention, he basically wants back to exclusive attention he enjoyed before the sister came along.

This is a bit of an eye-opener for me. I had developed a liking for a woman who has three kids, one has grown up and left, the other two and still quite dependent, one especially – and both in their 20s now.
When you look at the practicalities of it all, I think such relationships can only really work at a strategic distance, like separate houses, maybe spending weekends together, then perhaps moving in after the kids have left the nest – but due not least to the economy and house prices, that increasingly isn’t going to happen at all.

Very tough spot and not at all uncommon…
I think you have three options:
1) Learn somehow to ignore it and hope they grow out of it
2) Leave
3) Move out but retain your relationship (this would be my preference)
The one thing that will not change is the way the mother relates to the children, she won’t toughen up on them/kick them out, as the co-dependency pattern is fully established.

I was on them once and yes they had a big effect on my ability to exercise, legs just felt dead. Maybe think of them as a short term thing to help you balance the boat whilst the CBT will give you the tools in the future; on CBT, I recommend an App you can add to your phone called CatchIt, which you use to redescribe your negative thoughts.

I was listening to one of the commentators on FiveLive criticise the Boks as playing ugly, suffocating rugby against Japan. The thing is, the Boks have perfected this kind of rugby to the extent that it is in its own way a beautiful thing to watch. I think they will use the same tactics against the Welsh and I’d be surprised if the Welsh won, but it’s not out of the question if a Bok got a yellow or even red card; I think it will come down to discipline and the referee.
NZ vs England, I think for the first half vs South Africa and the whole game vs Ireland, NZ played near perfect rugby. England are playing well, the flankers are a new element and can make a huge difference, but the NZ forwards look as strong as any pack I’ve seen. England will try to target the more inexperienced Kiwis, but under Hansen they all seem to mature with each game, I actually think England could be on the end of a spanking like the Irish.
I said a few weeks ago on here that NZ and SA were on a different planet to the other sides and barring some discipline or dodgy ref decisions, I think both will end up in the final, but that final will be closer than the group game as the Boks gradually perfect their suffocating gameplan.

Is that really his half time talk or a hoax?
The Amazon documentary on NZ is great, Steve Hansen is very understated and apparently uses horsewhispering techniques to motivate his players! Something very odd going on at Rugby Australia, some unsavoury characters in the hierarchy these days and they are going backwards.

I expect a NZ vs SA final. England are good but NZ are really on a different planet.

The last woman I asked out actually laughed out loud…
IME people who think they are pathetic have a lot going for them but just can’t see it, whereas the big heads need bringing down a peg or two.

Interesting activism, certainly not the kind to get you on the front page of the paper but you have to admire his commitment to this issue. I think it’s a combination of people reducing their personal use of water and better regulation of the water companies.

Sober October begs the question why are people drinking so much in the first place, everything in moderation is the key, having a couple of beers now and then with friends is a good thing, and then the odd session once a month.

Very well done!

Hi Vacant, I’ve sent a DM to you.
I paid for a private consultancy of £200 but then was put on the surgeon’s NHS waiting list so that’s all I paid in the end.
Hope it all works out!
Squats were a major factor in my knee problems – I’d joined a crossfit gym before the above mentioned holiday and the squats made the condition a lot worse in just a matter of weeks. The gym instructors said I just needed to do more muscle strengthening when I complained of pain; in retrospect I should have stopped right there and then and seen a specialist.

Hi Vacant, that sounds like could be a minor subluxation at the end of the extension – not necessarily doing you any damage but you do need to see a knee specialist.
If as you say your VMO is ok then it could be an underlying bony issue. I went through the same regressive state as you describe – I’d had a couple of patella dislocations when young, then gave up all field sports, but it didn’t affect my walking or cycling until around five years ago. I’d booked a mountain biking holiday to Portugal but had to fly back after 2 days due to the knee flaring up; four years later I was having trouble walking and the pain the next day would keep me in bed.
As Enigmas says, it could be the best £200 you’ve ever spent – go to see one with a focus on patellafemoral issues. I can DM you the details of my consultant if you are interested – he’s one of the best for this, based in the Midlands.
It could be something else entirely like something to do with your hips or ankles but the minor subluxation (if that is what it is) could suggest something like trochlear dysplasia/patella alta.

I have recently transitioned over to Chinos! But not the polo shirt as yet.
I don’t currently own a pair of jeans though!

Hi Vacant, are you saying that your kneecap is actually subluxing (“jumping back into alignment”).
I’ve had major issues with kneecaps and surgery was the only route in the end, you may have to see a knee consultant and get some mri’s done and an xray to see if you have an underlying bony problem. I spent hundreds, probably thousands on physio, and it turned out that was all wasted money as the underlying condition I had was a bony one not a muscle imbalance.