My parents were 40ish when they had me and I have a brother 15 years older man me. Understandably, my relationship with my brother isn’t how I imagine it to be between most siblings, we are close and get on well but he left home when I was about five, married, had kids early etc ( who I am much closer to in age) and guess he is probably more like a uncle in some ways.
I did view my parents as old growing up and do now. I only knew one grandparent and he passed when I was five. I am early thirties and find it funny when much older people at work still have grandparents as this is something I never had as a result of older parents.
I remember being at school and dad not being in the dad’s race and feeling embarrassed, remember him being too tired to come out play football like my other friends dad who was a decade younger than him, lots of little stuff like that but always made it apparent I had old parents and now I am early thirties and they both have health issues.
I had a surprise at 21 and became a father while still at Uni, so they have known my daughter but the majority of my friends haven’t started families yet and imagine if I was in the same position there would be a good chance my child might not know its grandparents for a significant part of their life. They are in their seventies and couldn’t imagine getting them to help with childcare, like people with parents 10-20 years younger.
I have never expressed any of this to my family as I knew it would hurt them but I do think there are issues with having children late and they people generally deluding themselves if they don’t see it. Some of this will probably get resolved with advances in medicine if we can improve quality of life. My parents were the healthiest people I could imagine at seventy, travelling the world, enjoying life, a year later they both had cancer and the future isn’t so rosey. I can’t imagine they will see my child get married, have children etc.
My daughter comments she thinks it funny she has young parents as the other parents of her friends are all so much older. This isn’t something I have ever pointed out to her, so children are observant of such things, even if we want to tell ourselves otherwise. Obviously having a child at 21 was less than ideal for myself and I now have to listen to all my friends having these incredible ‘insights’ they have discovered from parenthood that I was having while they were having funny partying.