Well you must have got my email address from somewhere, perhaps before I removed my address from my profile? No matter, I’ll just leave you to your internet lynching if it makes you happy. Being a despicable liar is all you are. Oh, and a coward too. Disgusting behaviour.

no one laughs

At ernie_lynch.

I don’t know what you’ve got against me, but the constant email vitriol and goading on this forum has to stop.

and don’t mind being completely unfunny

-ernie_lynch™.

Or get a tartan one for a fiver more, in the form of the Gusset R Series. Or leopard print.

People are idiots, including those who ride bikes.

It looks like the woods at Cannock Chase, the ones where the trees are too close together for anything wider than a 680mm bar.

I am saying nothing.

The Last Waltz, Stop Making Sense, and Led Zeppelin DVD.

I’ve been a Man U fan ever since the start of the Premier League, so a lot longer than most people on here. I’ve never been to a game, but love watching the ‘Red Devils’ in 3D down the local pub, it really is like being there. It’s probably better though, as me and my chums make more noise than the crowd on the telly. Sir Alex really should play Michael Owen more, that is his only failing ever.

What’s ‘wendyball?’

Did it speak to you?

A pint of Lamp Light at the Beamish Mary Inn, No Place, County Durham.

I’ll have seven.

I’ve just eaten 5 oranges.

What’s an Orange Five?

I’ve only ever seen them in the shops, so don’t really know.

I just ride mine, sqeaks and imperfections give a bike character.

What’s a road bike?

You should have parked your bikes two abreast, he would have seen the error of his ways and accommodated you by giving you at least a cars width of space. ;)

Dogs, Mint Sauce key rings, religion, and moutain bike bell ends are the flavour of the month. Your bike looks ace by the way! :)

Manitou are the way to go – you’ll get a set on the bay for pennies.

I see dead people.

bigjim- can I borrow your copy of Razzle when you’re done with it?

It needs to be said. MTFU and just have a cup of tea.

I love the reaction of the cock-ney at the end of the 2nd video. :)

Big Dimes, Escort, Fiesta, 40+, Readers Wives. All sorts really.

I carry a gun.

It was ok, but would have been better if Buzz-Saw, Dynamo, Fireball, Sub-Zero and Captain Freedom were in it. Much better.

Road bikes are all rubbish and they don’t look any different.

Harry is a joke.

If you like going downhilll, wider bars help. It’s nowt to do with fashion when they work.

What mboy said.

Got a souped up Kraken, had for 2 years, great bike. Not getting rid till it snaps, which it wont do.

When my crown race wouldn’t quite sit properly and had a few mm gap between itself and the crown, I just fitted the forks, gap and all, rode it around for 2 minutes and it seated itself. Then I just adjusted the headset to remove the play. Easy peasy.

Real or fake, they all look tragic. Ok for a mid life crisis lifestyle though.

Quick update: the jeweller has told me the key rings will be ready in 2015 at the earliest, and the price has gone up due to gold prices.

It is called ‘brum’ though :)

1994-1997 Konas. The BEST paint jobs and decals on any bikes ever.

Most of those above look like an Australian’s nightmare.

My old house used to look over Pontop Pike.

I spread Marmite on a Yorkie bar and then dip it in tartare sauce. It sounds hideous, but tastes delicious.