there is an old fella here who retells some classic poo tails. he is pretty old and has some spare time, he also is a bit “chocks away” old army sort.. but the story’s he comes out with it’s worth listening to him.
he tells us of a tail where he was in the desert in africa or somewhere.. they were all in tanks. they stop for water and a break. some of the lads head off for a piss, etc. he is 2nd in command of this tank div.
the leader is a bit “you know,lads” and “whatknot” the old moustache type.
this fella is listening to orders as they setoff.. he hears in a posh accent.
“i said lads, somethings a bit wiffy in here!”
a few miles later.
“lads thats smells getting worse!”
“i say did any of you guy shit at the last stop?” (this is how he retells it)
“you dirty bastard, christy, you’ve shit in your boiler suit!”
queue tank halting and the whole lot of them piling out, with leader kicking him as he ran off stumbling to get the suit off (he later had to travel in vest and shorts.
this fella has a bit of leisure time and loves nothing more than fishing, he has an all in one suit that keeps him warm and dry even on bad days but the thing is it’s sod to get off when needing a wee etc.
he had been fishing a lake for a god few hours and over this time he was becoming all “emotional” about needing to drop the kids off but the lake was to busy earlier. as time past and he became more needy/emotional about needing a pooh, he couldn’t last and he dropped everything and shot off to the only tree in the place, small as it was it was enough to cover him now as there was only 2-3 ppl.
he was struggling to get the all in one off, he just rushed it off as quick as he could as the urge to pooh was overwhelming now.
after he finished he pulled his suit up, zipped it up and got all warm again, now relieved he headed back to his rod lying by the side of the water. the day was getting colder and he was too having just pulled down his all in one he pulled the hood up to get a bit warmer only to be hit by his mildly warm pooh on the back of the head. (he said he later realised he noticed a added weight)
he has great stories, he reminds me of the guy from dad’s army.