Worst ever coffee – the stuff that came out the machine in the factory I worked at for a while in my gap year.
It was 10p a cup and on the 2pm-10pm shift I really needed caffeine to get through the last few hours, but it was memorably awful.
The machine somehow superheated the ‘coffee’ to at least 130 degrees celcius and it then would go from being scaldingly hot to stone cold if you so much as took your eye off it. So giving your mouth third degree burns was the lesser of two evils there.
Then the taste. If you had to distil ‘acridness’ this would be it. With notes of your least-favourite teacher’s bad coffee breath, and stale cigarette smoke.
I can’t remember if it was a Kenco or Nescafe machine, definitely one of those two.