I had a similar mindset to you, and without wanting to sound critical, if you yourself read back your own posts in this thread you do sound very much like you are waiting for someone to say ‘this is the solution, this is how you do it and it will work immediately’.
There is no magic solution, you get out what you put in at the end of the day. But I, like you, wallowed for ages and hated the notion I was living to work for little reward. I’d got myself in a position whereby my outgoings were crippling and any money I had left over I just spent on stuff with some vague notion that it would make me happy. It was my reward for having what seemed like a miserable life.
I ended up with more tat that need financing to maintain and even less money. It took a few years before I decided that in order to change things and have what I believed could be a better life. I sold all the crap I’d accumulated, cancelled things I didn’t need and stopped buying stuff for the sake of it. Within a few months of not spending I’d put away a decent amount of cash and so looked at what I wanted to do that would mean less time sitting in an office, more time at home an more time doing what I wanted to do.
I’d managed to bring down my outgoings drastically to a point where I didn’t need the sort of income I was generating so was safe in the knowledge that I could quit my job and do something part time or something with a lower income but more enjoyable.
So, I used some of the money I saved up to buy some bikes/kit/training and started an after school bike skills class for kids. It was a long process to get all the qualifications and training so I was in a position to train and provide a safe teaching environment etc but after a year at it it’s starting to do quite well. I have a hardcore of schools who invite me weekly to offer fun cycling activities for their kids and I love what I do. I don’t make a fortune and have to to do 3 days a week working in a Library (which I also enjoy).
Ultimately now I have an easy life. Very low stress, lots of time at home/out with wife/doing what I want to do. All very simple things. We don’t have costly holidays/cars/toys/gadgets and gizmos but we have never been happier.
I enjoy the very simple things in life, don’t need to spend a fortune on crap. I have a modest home with modest possessions but both I and my wife are happy because we both have time which we have realised is the most precious thing you really have.
In fact we now plan to downsize our home for something a little more quant, reducing our mortgage further.